Seen on the Internet, the headline is: The girl beat her mother on the street because she did not buy a mobile phone. When it first broke out, most people were scolding girls. The next day things reversed: the girl (underage) earned 4,000 yuan on her own, and her mother promised to subsidize her with 2,000 yuan to buy an Apple mobile phone.
When I got to the mobile phone store, it seemed that the clerk said that the girl's old mobile phone could be repaired, and the girl's uncle advised the girl to continue to use the old one. The girl saw that the mobile phone could not be bought, and called for her mother to leave together. But the mother sat on the brakes of the electric car and did not leave, constantly accusing and humiliating her daughter, and beckoning people around her to "judge the onlookers".
Outsiders do not know, so, pointing at the girl, the girl repeatedly urged her mother to leave without success, emotional collapse. Watching her daughter sit on the ground like a madman, the mother and the people around her looked at her daughter with a smile...
(It is said that the mother also took away her daughter's 4,000 yuan.)
Image credit: Penguin
Many netizens in the comment area obviously experienced similar things when they were young, and their parents promised to temporarily regret their own things, and they sneered at themselves in front of outsiders. After experiencing it once, I never want to experience it a second time, and I no longer trust my parents from now on. On the other hand, parents never feel that they have done anything wrong, and the child does not trust himself and feels that it is the child's problem.
I once met a mother and son in a snack bar, the child was about 3 years old, the mother and son walked into the store, and the child said what he wanted to eat. At first, the mother said that she had no money, and she did not mean to pull the child away, waiting for the child to give up on her own. The child did not believe and insisted on buying, the mother was angry, smashed the handbag on the ground, and shouted at the child: No money, told you that there is no money.
The child picked up the handbag and rummaged through it, but found nothing but did not leave, and may think that the mother has money. The mother grabbed the child's handbag and repeatedly slammed it on the ground, scolding the child on the mouth. The child watched his mother unmoved, and so on for ten minutes, and the mother and son left.
From the beginning to the end, the mother and son seemed to be like no one around, especially the mother, as if they had come to vent their emotions. The clerk and other customers collectively silenced and just looked at them. After they left, the clerk and the customer whispered there: How the is this...
When I was a child, many people had this experience: they especially wanted something, thought about it for a long time, and waited for an opportunity to open their mouths to their parents. Some parents are more cheerful, directly give money or take their children to buy. Some parents do not want to buy, but they are afraid of children's trouble, so they take their children to the street, and on the way to go, they do not say buy or say no, generally saying "look and then say".
Children with "experience" know that their parents do not want to buy it but still hold on to a glimmer of hope when they hear their parents say this; children without "experience" foolishly think that their parents have agreed. When you get to the store, the parents casually ask the price, and say to the children in front of the clerk: There is no use in buying, no buying, no money to buy, you have to buy it yourself, anyway, I don't have money to buy it for you...
Then look at the child with a smile, but all the children with normal intelligence will understand at a glance that the parents do not want to buy for themselves, but they just want to make themselves retreat: you cry well, you make a good fuss, let everyone see how you force your parents to ask for things...
Some children have long been mentally prepared and know that crying is useless or disappointed too many times, originally did not have too much expectations of their parents, or their self-esteem is particularly strong, do not want to lose face in front of outsiders, parents say not to buy it.
Some children are rejected by their parents for a moment when their hearts can't stand to directly collapse and cry, and finally either the parents compromise (inevitably humiliated and scolded the child), or the child is forcibly taken away by the parents.
Parents do not directly refuse when the child makes a request, but pours cold water when the child thinks that the wish can be achieved, and there is a "benefit": the child with strong self-esteem will not easily ask the parents for anything in the future, because they know that they will not give it, and they may embarrass themselves. Those children who finally get what they want will weigh the consequences before they open their mouths next time.
I know a family, a couple plus a son and a daughter. When my son was seventeen or eighteen years old, one day he didn't know why he was having an awkward relationship with his parents. In fact, adolescent children and parents conflict is very common, generally two sentences will be fine. Their son was introverted and hardly quarreled with his parents, and on that occasion, the couple pressed their son to rip his pants and let the family's wolfhound bite (the dog had not been given a preventive injection at that time).
Such a big boy must have resisted, and when he resisted, he pushed his mother down. His mother called her relatives and friends to the house one by one, saying that her son had beaten her. Relatives and friends, in front of their husband and wife, were counting down the boy who didn't understand things, how could he do anything to his parents.
Privately, they are saying that the couple has a brain disease, what is the big deal in arguing, which parents and children do not mix a sentence in their lifetime? Such a big boy, but also pulled his pants to let the dog bite...
In the eyes of many parents, children have no self-esteem (perhaps they don't know what self-esteem is) and do not need to save face. When the child does something wrong or he loses money in front of the child (wanting to find face for himself), or when he is in a bad mood and needs to vent, regardless of time and occasion, he will hit the child if he wants to fight and scold if he wants to. Outsiders who don't know the inside story see or hear about this kind of thing and think it's the child's fault, or even if they suspect that the child is innocent, they don't dare to speak. You must know that many people agree: "There are no parents in the world", "parents are good for their children, that is, the method is improper", "parents love their children"...
People who know the inside story, some lament that the child is unlucky to share such a parent, and others can't do anything or can't do anything (for self-protection). There are also knives that do not stab themselves in the body and do not know the pain, but also advise children: after all, it is your parents, at least raised you...
These parents may feel humiliated and humiliated in front of outsiders, one is that they can better control their children so that their children are obedient, and the other is to make outsiders feel how difficult it is to be a parent in order to win sympathy.
The reality is that a child's self-esteem is hit hard and can be devastating. Some children may be manipulated by their parents or go to extremes (such as suicide, mental illness, etc.) for the rest of their lives, and some children may either ignore their parents and cut off contact with their parents when they have the ability to survive independently, or they will stay away from their parents and only give financial support.
Who loses and who wins?