On Sunday night, when the meal was already on the table, I called out to my daughter, "Eat." "Wait a minute," she replied.
I ate first. A few minutes later, my daughter came over, glanced at the table, and asked, "What about my meal?" This was accompanied by a look of resentment and dissatisfaction.
I was shocked. Her expression, her questioning, was clearly telling me: You should serve me a good meal, why don't you serve me rice? 7-year-old she has a good pair of hands, she can obviously serve her own food, why do you think I should take it for granted to serve her?
I immediately found the reason. Although I have been warning myself not to do too much for my children and let them learn to take responsibility for themselves, I still, like many mothers, unconsciously do more for my children.
A person who feels unashamedly can turn into a "white-eyed wolf."
In a recent post seen on the Internet, the poster Xiao A's parents passed away when he was 10 years old, and his sister, who was 20 years older, raised him as an adult and provided him with college, and later he was admitted to the civil service. My sister retired, and the pension was 1800 yuan per month.
The sister wanted Xiao A to give her 1,000 yuan a month as a pension fee (in fact, it should be to subsidize the nephew's living expenses for college), but Xiao A did not do it, and persuaded the sister not to let the nephew study expensive architecture. The sister was angry and threatened that Xiao A would sue him in court if he did not pay the maintenance. Little A asked if his sister took him to court, would he have to bear maintenance? Will it have an impact on his future? He particularly stressed that his sister only raised him, did not treat him well to his nephew, and there was a lot of dissatisfaction with his sister in his words, and there was no gratitude.
His sister raised him and sent him to college, and Little A should have been grateful and grateful, but he thought that his sister and brother-in-law had not done enough.
I don't want to raise my daughter into a white-eyed wolf. I raised her as my duty as a mother, not to expect her in return, but if she grows up thinking that I do everything for her, if I do less one day, or do not do it, she will resent me... If that happens, it's my tragedy.
Since then, I have been more wary of whether I have done too much for her, often reminding myself not to do her part of the work, and assigning some chores to her to make her take on the responsibilities of being a member of the family; inviting (and asking) her to help when we work, so that she can experience the hardships of our labor; teaching her to express gratitude, if she expressed gratitude, she will get more, if she is not grateful, next time I will not do that for her; materially less satisfied, Let her understand that not everything she wants is available.
I've seen many parents unconsciously breeding white-eyed wolves. They do too much for their children, on the way to school or school, most of the children's school bags are carried by their parents, and the children are at ease to walk empty-handed; clothes come to stretch out their hands and open their mouths, do not have to do housework, just do a good job of studying; material enjoyment is overly satisfied, many primary school students have their own mobile phones and computers... Today he thinks you should carry a school bag and buy a mobile phone for him, tomorrow he will think that you should find a job for him, buy a car, buy a house, and if one day you can't give him what he wants, he will resent.
Writing this, I think of Wang Jiajing, an international student who killed his mother at the airport three years ago, who stayed in Japan for five years and has never worked, and his tuition and living expenses are paid by his mother's monthly income of 7,000 yuan. His mother was in debt everywhere, and he really couldn't come up with the money, so he stabbed his mother at the airport 9 times. Young people at the age of 24 are supposed to be self-reliant and work on their own to cover (or partially solve) the cost of studying abroad. But he was at ease to enjoy the greenhouse life provided by his mother with hard work, and when his mother could not come up with money, he did not read his kindness, and the resentment turned into 9 knives.
This case has alerted parents and taught their children how important it is to be responsible and grateful! A child who knows how to be grateful, he will appreciate what others have done for him, cherish everything he has received, and feel that it is both happy and happy to have everything in front of him. We as parents should remember: if you do not want to raise your child to become a "white-eyed wolf", then do not do too much for your child, do not promote your child's sense of unashamed feelings, and teach your child to know how to be grateful.