He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
In intimate relationships, men's thinking patterns in feelings and women's thinking patterns are different.
Men's love thinking patterns are often "linear", like a straight line, from beginning to end.
Either from the beginning to the end, fall in love with someone, and love it for the rest of your life;
Either love a stage, after which love disappears, and the man leaves.
Women's love thinking is "non-linear" and "curved".
They do not completely fall in love with the boy from the beginning, but over time, the love for the boy grows deeper and deeper.
The difference between the two love thinking also leads to the opposition of feelings between men and women.
Ironically:
When women fall deeply in love with men, men's love for women begins to decline.
Why don't men love you?
What are the reasons why men don't love you?
-01
He only loves your strengths and can't stand your weaknesses
This reminds me of the story of writers Li Ao and Hu Yinmeng.
The relationship between two people has such a secret interlude:
The first time Li Ao and Hu Yin dreamed of meeting, Li Ao fell deeply in love with this girl.
She is so beautiful that she can't be squared.
The moment he saw this girl, Li Ao made up his mind in his heart:
"I'm going to be with her, she's the girl I'm waiting for."
And Hu Yinmeng was also impressed by Li Ao's talent.
So, the two lived together and began a marriage.
This marriage came and ended quickly.
One day, after Li Ao returned home, he saw Hu Yinmeng sitting on the toilet.
At that moment, the image of Hu Yinmeng's "perfect goddess" in Li Ao's mind completely collapsed.
Because he saw Hu Yinmeng's face flushed, and even a little hideous, he instantly lost all good feelings for her.
Later, Li Ao wrote the following sentence:
"Under the same roof, there are no real beauties."
It's also interesting to say, but it's not hard to find out after a closer analysis:
From the beginning, Li Ao did not love Hu Yinmeng.
In other words:
What Li Ao loves deeply is just the perfect partner he imagined in his mind; It just so happened that Hu Yinmeng appeared, similar to his perfect partner.
Such men cannot start from the beginning, because they only love imaginary people, not real partners.
The same is true in reality.
One of the main reasons why a man doesn't love you is that he can't stand your shortcomings.
When he stays with you for a long time and lives for a long time, he becomes more and more unable to tolerate your shortcomings.
Even when he loves you, your flaws are a cute side in his eyes.
Even if two people who love each other again, living together every day, will expose more shortcomings of each other.
At this time, the test is the determination and loyalty of the two people.
-02
His passion for you fades away
Back to the point mentioned at the beginning of the article:
Men's love thinking is linear.
Their thoughts are simple: "I love you, I will be good to you and willing to give everything for you; If I don't love you, I don't want to be nice to you. ”
Psychology proposes the love triangle theory:
The 3 factors that make up love are passion, commitment and intimacy.
Once a man's passion for you wears off, then he doesn't love you anymore.
Like what:
The reason why he is with you is because he is attracted to your cuteness, personality, and looks.
One day, he finds that he can't feel that freshness and passion in you.
At this time, the man's love for you will hesitate and then weigh whether to leave you.
-03
You can't awaken his desire to challenge and conquer
In men's bones, there is a "desire to conquer and challenge".
The more challenging and difficult things are, the more they can attract the attention of men.
Just as when the tribe survived, the men were responsible for hunting and the women were responsible for the housekeeping.
The same is true in intimate relationships.
Some men will see love as a challenge and the girl they like as "prey".
The more girls who reject him, the more they attract his attention;
And girls who are easily chased will make men lose their freshness quickly.
In other words:
The more "mysterious" you are in the eyes of a man, the deeper his love for you will be, because you have successfully aroused his desire to challenge and win.
And the moment you lose your sense of mystery, that's when men don't love you.
Common states are:
You treated him well, meticulously, and obediently, but he eventually left you.
Why?
For you are so good to Him, He is in bliss and does not know bliss.
-04
When he realizes that being with you comes at a cost
This brings me to a consulting case.
A boy left a message:
He broke up with his girlfriend who has been in love for more than 3 years, and he loves this girl very much.
However, the conditions proposed by the girl's family were more harsh, and he was unwilling to accept them.
In the face of love and reality, he chose reality.
What are the demands of the girl's family?
Let him buy a house in the girl's city with a down payment of not less than half.
To have a car, it is best not less than 200,000.
The bride price cannot be less.
What made him even more disappointed was that when the girl's parents made these requests, the girl did not say a word for him.
It seems that in the girl's subconscious, she thinks that these are "very reasonable".
Why did the guys leave you?
Because if he wants to marry you, he has to pay a cost that he can't or won't bear.
You know, it was not he who paid for his marriage, but his parents.
Today's Topic:
Men are not in love, can you feel it?
(Article with picture source network)