Many people oppose the acceptance of the bride price, especially in families where the marriage partner is a man. So in a tugging, the bride price seemed to be a stumbling block to the marriage.
In fact, in the final analysis, the bride price is a matter of the wise seeing the wise and the benevolent seeing the benevolent.
There was a girl who was getting married, and she looked embarrassed about whether to ask for a bride price. She felt that if she didn't, she was afraid that the other party would not value herself; if she did, she was worried that the other party would think that she was very worldly and looked down on herself.
The girl's mother told her that if you want to listen to her mother's advice, then what I want to tell you is that there is nothing to be embarrassed about asking for a bride price, you can boldly ask for it, but not blindly.
The girl's mother explained:
Love may be non-cannibalistic, but marriage is not. This bride price can be the foundation for the two families to build a family after marriage, you don't want it, others will only appreciate you for a while. But we must also be measured, we must not open our mouths widely, we must be reasonable, and we must neither embarrass the other party nor treat ourselves badly.
Money has always been a sensitive word in intersex interactions, making a relationship intimate or embarrassing.
Sun Yating is a supporter of "no bride price" and has always believed that men and women are equal. You can support a marriage without a full equality without a house, a car, a bride price, and a dowry.
Sun Yating is 27 years old and has been dating several men, but everyone seems to be not cold to her unique theory.
Usually when men hear that she does not want a bride price, the first thing they show is curiosity and excitement, but then when they hear a few of her requests, they all indicate that they cannot accept it.
Recently, Sun Yating was introduced by a friend and went on a blind date with a 30-year-old male, Little D. The two people saw each other for the first time, felt good about each other, and decided to find a coffee shop to sit down and talk.
It is worth mentioning here that Sun Yating will not go on a blind date in a place like a restaurant or a café, but about a commercial street, a free park, and so on, in short, a place where it does not cost money.
After that, the two people have the intention of getting along further with each other before moving to other places. In her dictionary there is the idea that if two people do not even have the desire to know more, why let others consume for her?
Little D is very interested in Sun Yating, the man himself is also very talkative, the two people talk like a pair of old friends, very harmonious.
In fact, Sun Yating is accustomed to seeing such a scene, from the initial enthusiasm to the final cold field, she will not feel embarrassed. Because most of the cold fields are because she put forward her own five-point condition.
Not surprisingly, Little D also said that these conditions should be considered before replying. And asked, what if you are willing to give a bride price? But Sun Yating insisted on not accepting the bride price, and also insisted on using these five conditions to find her other half.
The five points in Sun Yating's mouth are:
The first point is that I do not accept the bride price, and I also have an AA system after marriage, so there is no such thing as "marrying". Two people want to have their own small family, the house can be bought or rented.
Both parents can come to live for up to three days at a time, but are not allowed to point fingers at their own lives.
Second, household expenses should be shared, and household chores should also be shared. Laundry, cooking, cleaning division of labor cooperation, they will only do their own part.
If the man makes the room too messy and does not clean, then he has the right to fine according to the contract signed by the two people. Similarly, if he does not do his share of the housework, he is also allowed to fine himself.
Third, since there is no financial involvement between the two sides, and there is no such thing as marriage, please do not force me to have children. If I want to be born, I don't want to be born, I don't want to be born.
At the same time, if a girl is born with my surname, and a boy is born with the man's surname. At the same time, all my property, as well as my parents' property, is inherited only by girls. Boys can inherit the man's property.
Fourth, if I choose to have children, then I am equivalent to labor and pain. The costs during this period and the cost of postnatal rehabilitation should then be paid for in full by the man.
In the later stage, I will not delay my work because of my children and give up my career. The cost of the child, the cost of the aunt for two people AA, the child's companionship, all matters of the school and other related matters that require time and energy, the two people should also be equally shared.
Fifth, during the New Year's Festival, go back to each home and find each mother. My own parents, I will take care of, life and old illness and death I bear it all.
The trivial matters of the man's parents, pension accompaniment, etc., should also be handled by the man himself. Hospitalization, bed rest, etc., don't expect me to take care of it.
Every time Sun Yating's five-point request is spoken, she can feel the emotional fluctuations of the man who is close to her opposite.
But what Sun Yating does not understand is that all things of the two people are equally divided, fair and just, why are men unwilling and do not accept it?
Why would some men prefer to pay the bride price rather than share the economy with women, share the housework equally, manage their own families, and take care of their children in a balanced way?
Sun Yating's blind date ended in failure. Of course, her way of thinking doesn't fit the mainstream now.
But if women do not accept the bride price, the relationship between men and women in marriage, perhaps, will become the way Sun Yating expects.
In fact, there is no absolute fairness in marriage, and if you want to be absolutely fair, you will lose the warmth in the family. In real life, money and calculations can beat love, and money and calculations bear the brunt of it.
These five conditions of Sun Yating are not objective, but they also reveal for us the part that is lacking in marriage:
Some men often lack empathy in marriage, do not know how to empathize, and habitually dump housework, the elderly, and children to women. At the same time, I feel that my life is difficult and difficult, but in fact, I have no ability to become the pillar of the family economy.
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The world is so big, thank you, you can see me!
[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]