There is a saying on the Internet that says: "No one will always love you, but there will always be someone who loves you" Deeply believes that no one can accompany you all the time in a person's life, but at every stage of life, there will be someone to accompany you. Love and separation have always been two eternal themes in life. We all have to know how to love others, and we must also know how to separate. And this kind of rationality should exist in any kind of emotional relationship, including parent-child relationship.
As a parent, having children, children are not only the crystallization of love, but also the continuation of life. Parents of healthy families can understand that we raise children not to hold on to them forever and not to let them fly. Instead, at the right time, learn to let go, let the children go on their own, enjoy and bear their own lives. As a saying on the Internet: "All love in this world points to reunion, but the love of parents points to separation." ”
The relationship between healthy parents and children should always be "drifting apart". Instead of controlling and interfering in everything about the child, even if the child has reached adulthood and work, he still learns not to let go and stay away. Try to make your child as obedient as when he was a child. Such parents, if they mistakenly guide their children from an early age, the children will become mothers and boys, which is actually a disaster for their children's own lives in the future.
Yang Kai's mother is the mother who wants to control the explosion and tries to control her son's life. Fortunately, Yang Kai was able to carry it clearly and knew the difference between filial piety and foolish filial piety. Therefore, after his marriage was inexplicably opposed by his mother, he insisted on his own choice and "angered" his mother, in exchange for the smooth marriage and the final letting go of his mother.
Yang Kai and Chen Fan were university alumni, and through some activities at that time, they were familiar with each other's faces. True love determines the relationship, after work. By chance, the two entered the same company, and as the time they spent together increased. Two people who originally had a good impression of each other secretly had feelings and became boyfriend and girlfriend.
In love, the feelings of the two are getting better and better, and both parties are rushing to get married. Chen Fan did not have any dissatisfaction with her boyfriend, and the only thing that made her tangled with this relationship was because the mother-to-be did not agree to this marriage. Yang Kai is naturally aware of the knots in his girlfriend's heart. The reason why he has always insisted on not breaking up is that he has been standing with his girlfriend.
The relationship between the two is naturally the most important reason, and the rest is that the reason for his mother's opposition is a bit outrageous. Yang Kai took Chen Fan home for the first time, and the ugly daughter-in-law saw her in-laws and spoke from her heart, chen Fan's performance was good. After all, Yang Kai has long told his parents' preferences, and there will naturally be no big mistakes in his favorite practices. But Yang Kai's mother was very dissatisfied with Chen Fan, and at first Yang Kai was very surprised.
He asked his mother what the reason was, and the mother said: "Your girlfriend is a year older than you, this is not good, get married, marry a younger than your own age, do you want to have a bad life in the future?" Yang Kai cried and laughed, not to mention that this statement is nonsense, not to mention that the mother herself is two years older than her father, how can she take a year older as a reason for refusal?
Yang Kai also asked his mother this, and his mother could not see that he could not say it, and began to take care of him left and right, anyway, to say that he did not agree to this marriage. Yang Kai was puzzled, and later his mother arranged blind dates for him, saying that he had inquired about it first, and had seen it, and they were all good girls. It is said that from childhood to adulthood, the son is obedient to his own arrangement, and he will come so smoothly all the way.
Yang Kai realized that his mother's dislike of Chen Fan was not actually aimed at an individual, but this person was not found by himself. In other words, Yang Kai's mother, the desire to control the explosion, the son's affairs, from a young age, a person to decide, the current marriage events are naturally no exception. Yang Kai realized this and would not listen to his mother's words. In fact, he had long been "dissatisfied" with his mother interfering in his life everywhere, but because he could not bear his mother's sadness, and the matter was not too big, he chose to compromise.
But the marriage affair was a lifelong affair, and he was unwilling to compromise. So, they pulled each other like this, and it dragged on for four years. Seeing that the conditions of the people who came to her son to say about the affair were getting worse and worse, Yang Kai's mother finally relaxed and agreed to the marriage. But a condition was put forward, saying that the daughter-in-law must be pregnant first, and promised to have children before she could agree to marry her son.
She said to Yang Kai: "Son, you must get pregnant first, and then hold a wedding, she is old, and thin, in case she will not give birth, what can I do?" You have to be obedient, mom is all for your own good. In fact, at this time, Yang Kai had already received a marriage license with Chen Fan, and the wedding had not been held, because the work was too busy, and because he wanted to use time to delay until his mother agreed. Now the mother agreed, but made an outrageous request.
Although "Fengzi marriage" is not a disgraceful thing now, during the love period, when the love is strong, there are children, willing to be responsible, not to mention that Yang Kai and Chen Fan themselves already have a marriage certificate. But having said that, we can accept the unexpected "unmarried pregnancy", but certainly not accept the "unmarried pregnancy" with a purpose. Just like Yang Kai's mother's request, Chen Fan naturally would not agree.
Chen Fan disagreed, making Yang Kai's mother even more dissatisfied. She originally thought that her son's insistence on marrying a girl who was not approved by herself was already unfilial, and now that she had given in and agreed to the marriage, this girl could not even agree to a small request, then she could not get off the stage no matter what. But in the end, It was Yang Kai who came forward to solve this matter, Yang Kai faced his mother's unreasonableness, and finally said something serious, he said: "Mom, did you marry my father after you were pregnant?" ”
Yang Kai's mother must have been angry at that time, and her son, who has always been obedient, because of this marriage, it can be said that he has always been working against himself. But in the end, she was still persuaded by her son, and she also understood the heart-to-heart of-heart of his son's mouth. She accepted her son's apology, and after calming down, she recalled that since her son graduated from college, although he did not listen to his own arrangement, the path he chose by himself seemed to be quite good. The mother eventually reconciled with her son and decided to let go.
As a parent, I want to do my best to pave the way for my children and not let my children suffer a little, and I can understand. But everyone, an independent individual, has their own way to go, even if they are related by blood, they cannot interfere with and control their children's lives. The greatest love that parents have for their children is to learn to let go at the right time. This is the right time, when the child is an adult, or after the child works.
In short, don't interfere in your child's life in the name of love. Your interference, which you feel is love, but is actually a desire for control, will often make the child run away from you.
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