Returning to her hometown on the weekend, just in time for a wedding in the village, the bride is called Xiaomei, 24 years old this year, unmarried and pregnant. The people in the village were polite and polite in front of their faces, but behind their backs, they were sighing, and they all expressed their disapproval of this marriage, saying: "If you say that you are leaving, you will be married, and if you say that you will end up, you will pity the child." "The child they are talking about is not this one in Xiaomei's belly, but a son and a daughter she gave birth to before."
Yes, the bride Xiaomei is married for the second time, and the second marriage at the age of 24. In a previous marriage, she had a 5-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter. These two children, when divorced, she did not want any, both gave to the child's father, in The words of Xiaomei: "With the child, I am not good at marrying, I don't want to be like my mother." Besides, I can't even feed myself, where is the money to raise children? ”
When she said this, Xiaomei's mother rubbed her hands awkwardly on the side.
Speaking of the encounter between Xiaomei's mother and daughter, it is actually quite painful: Xiaomei's mother married early, and before she was 18 years old, she was pregnant before marriage. However, Xiaomei's father was alcoholic and abusive, when Xiaomei was 9 years old, her parents divorced, in order to support the mother and daughter, Xiaomei's mother fostered Xiaomei in her grandmother's house and went out to work by herself.
It was not until Xiaomei was 12 years old that her mother remarried. Perhaps feeling indebted to this daughter, Xiaomei's mother is almost doting on Xiaomei: clothes to reach out, food to open her mouth, 12-year-old girl, not even a pair of socks washed.
I thought that the children of the poor had long been in charge, who knows, Xiaomei not only could not be the family, but became lazy and selfish and ignorant because of neglect of discipline: skipping school, drinking, fighting in groups, falling in love, and parents were interviewed at both ends for three days. Xiaomei barely finished junior high school, and she refused to step into the school door again.
After working for two years, not only did he not earn money, but he often asked his mother to help. When he was 18 years old, he even made a fuss about meeting the true destiny, saying that when he got married, he would get married, and no one could stop him, so he also had a big fight with his mother.
Then, Xiaomei coerced her mother with unmarried pregnancy, and finally succeeded in marrying someone. Unfortunately, marriage is not a child's play, Xiaomei does not know how to get along with her family, after giving birth to a child, she is even more busy, and even once threw the child to her mother-in-law and mother, hiding herself and refusing to face it.
After giving birth to her second child, Xiaomei was tired of coping with family trivialities, and her husband's relationship broke down, and Xiaomei unexpectedly but reasonably divorced.
Less than half a year after the divorce, Xiaomei found her true destiny again, and quickly became pregnant, once again forcing her mother to nod and marry herself.
When sending Xiaomei out, her mother repeatedly explained: "Don't look back." "In the village, turning back on the road to marriage means going back. XiaoMei, who was happy to go out, did not think about the two children who had been there.
Some people say that what Xiaomei took is actually the path her mother has taken: early love, unmarried and pregnant, she is still a child, and she became a mother in a vacuum. When he understands things, the children have grown up and can't control them.
Some people also say that Xiaomei is smart and clear-headed, taking advantage of her youth, quickly trying and making mistakes, and having a chance to correct mistakes anyway.
But what about children? What about two children who are less than 10 years old combined?
If you do something wrong, you can start over, if you go wrong, you can go around, and your partner can leave if you choose the wrong one. However, what should be done if a child who was born with the full love of a family suddenly has no maternal love? No one asked them about their wishes when they were born, their parents divorced and no one cared about them, who was responsible for their future?
In the end, it is still because Xiaomei, a mother, is immature in mind.
Mature and responsible mothers will not bet on their own happiness, nor will they test their children until they are ready.
With the opening of the two-child policy and the encouragement of the three-child policy, there are always some colleagues around Honghong who refuse to follow the crowd: not to mention the three-child, I am still considering the second child.
What to consider?
Economic situation, living conditions, marital feelings, manpower problems with children. Many mothers have said: having a child is not raising a cat and a dog, not hungry or cold, raising a child, but also need to accompany, educate, love, if you can't do it, having a child is just to bring pain to the child.
In the movie "Mysterious Superstar", the actor Who plays Yin Xiya's mother, Mei Vija, said: "In every mother's life, the mother is the real superstar. ”
In early childhood, the more the mother gives the child's companionship, the greater the impact on the child, because the child's sense of security is derived from the mother, and the style of behavior, the mother is a mirror of the child. If there is something wrong with the mirror itself, it will be a disaster for the child.