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When people are old, how to get along with their relatives and how to plan for the future test a person's emotional intelligence and experience. Especially in a family environment with many people and complex relationships, the role of the elderly is even more important.
In order to maintain harmony in family relations and maintain harmony among relatives, the elderly should be smarter, speak selectively, and give thoughtfully.
When you are old, be a sensible and interesting old man, and be a gentle and kind parent. Be the brainstorm of the family, not the source of contradictions. In order to make your old age happier and your children more harmonious, remember, these kinds of words must rot in your stomach, do not say them to your children.
One: The intention to distribute the amount of one's own property
In real life, many families are making a lot of noise because they want to compete for their parents' property, and everyone wants to become a vested interest and does not want any injustice to happen to them.
But in fact, the really intelligent old man will never discuss too much on this issue, and he will always let him rot in his stomach about the amount of his property and his distribution plan until the day when the truth is needed.
In the TV series "Little Shed", the Nan family once made the family unhappy because of the ownership of the old house, especially for the reorganization of the family, the property problem of the elderly is more sensitive.
Nan Jianlong was partial to his own children, and his wife and daughter were of course unwilling. But when he favored the side of the wife, he hurt the heart of his own daughter.
People are old, sometimes they have to be cunning, although they face their own relatives, but they do not have to be open and honest on sensitive issues. Some things, once thoroughly explained, are not good for anyone.
Two: About yourself some biased choices
When there are several children in a family, it is objectively difficult for parents to be 100% impartial. For them, the palms of their hands and the backs of their hands are flesh, and it hurts to be injured on either side. Therefore, in the process of nurturing for decades, it is inevitable that there will be some moments of remoteness.
Whether it is parents or children, they should learn to look forward, do not always think about turning over the old accounts of history, children do not have to care too much, parents do not need to mention it, only in this way can the family maintain harmony.
In the TV series "Heart Residence", Feng Xiaoqin once asked her grandmother why she gave the house to the boss when she was young, and obviously this house is also very important to the second and third elders.
The old man said frankly that because he only had a house, he could only take care of the child who had the worst life. Although the life of the second and third elders is not good, at least they can live on.
Of course, the second and third elders will care about this matter, and the grandmother will of course remember, but in the next few decades, no one has mentioned it, deliberately not talking about this issue, so instead of living a peaceful life.
In the family, sometimes there is no fear of injustice, but of breaking that injustice.
Three: About your dissatisfaction and concern for your children
The mother worries that no matter how old a person grows, he is still a child in the eyes of his parents, and he will eventually be worried. Especially when children make some choices that are difficult for parents to understand, when parents are often in a hurry and have no mouth, they do not know that such a dialogue will only push the child farther and farther.
When people are old, they should learn to understand their children more, rather than continuing to hit them and express regrets.
In the TV series "In the World", the Zhou family has a total of three children, the eldest and the second have excellent academic performance, the work is also enviable, and they are good children who can put gold on their faces in the eyes of their parents.
Because the third brother is not as good as his brother and sister in learning, coupled with the fact that he has been staying with his parents for many years to take care of him, in the eyes of his father, he is somewhat indisputable. In the unobstructed contrast again and again, the third elder gradually drifted away from his father, and even for several years he did not contact him.
In this world, what the child needs most is the support and recognition of his parents, even if he is successful in the eyes of others, if he is not looked up to by his parents, he will eventually feel powerless. The blows of parents are a kind of harm to children, and sometimes, the consequences of this kind of harm can be even too great for them to imagine.
In a family, the elderly are actually of key significance, they are often a link between family members, but also a link between blood and kinship.
So, when you are old, always remember what your position and identity is, do not have to reveal everything to your children, do not have to be honest with them in everything. Sometimes, speaking selectively is more conducive to family relations, which is a manifestation of wisdom and a wise choice.
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