Ask everyone a question, what kind of reaction will you have when someone smokes in front of you? Will you turn the other cheek with them?
My dad's addiction to smoking is very large, at least one pack of cigarettes a day, although he said N times to quit smoking, the doctor warned him many times, but he always couldn't make up his mind.
Fortunately, my father was still self-conscious, never smoking in front of the family, either going to the balcony to smoke, or finding a ventilated, no-one place to smoke, so although my mother and I did not like his habit very much, I also endured.
However, compared to my father, my uncle was more disgusting. My uncle was the kind of person who did whatever he wanted, never considered the feelings of others, not only had a great addiction to smoking, but also smoked whenever he wanted, never cared about the occasion, and was fined.
Once his addiction came up, he didn't even care about the health of his family. I heard my aunt say that he had smoked in front of his two-month-old granddaughter, and his cousin was so angry that he was forbidden to come back to the house, and the relationship between the father-in-law and daughter-in-law was particularly tense.
I remember Takeshi Kitano once said: "The so-called rules, fundamentally considered, are actually for the sake of others." A bad person has no idea of 'considering other people's feelings'. ”
Smoking is your freedom, but, as we all know, smoking is harmful to health, not only hurting you, but also hurting the people around you who smell smoke. Your health you do not cherish, do not care, no one can stop you, but you are not qualified to harm the health of others, let innocent people pay for your actions!
What's more, the people who suffer the most from second-hand smoke are not others, but your family, who have been in contact with you for the longest time and are most likely to be harmed by you.
If you don't think about your family, act willfully, and do your own thing, don't blame your family for turning your face to you.
"You either quit smoking or you live alone, if because of you, it affected my son's marriage and ran away from my daughter-in-law, and I didn't finish with you." 」
Aunt Fang gave an ultimatum to her wife, Uncle Geng, demanding that Uncle Geng quit smoking immediately, otherwise she would move out, only because Uncle Geng was too selfish, completely unaware of her children and grandchildren, and almost pit her son and grandson, so that Aunt Fang, who loved her son, could not bear it.
01. Long before we got married, he loved to smoke, regardless of the occasion, I suffered a lot;
Uncle Geng is 57 years old this year, has decades of smoking addiction, in Aunt Fang's impression, since marriage, she has not seen Uncle Geng not smoke one day.
"Even if the family's economic situation is not good, it is stretched, and it is necessary to borrow money to live a life, you can't cut off his cigarette, otherwise he will be noisy and noisy at home, stirring up the whole family." In the past few years, every year of physical examination, doctors have said that his lungs are not good, there is a risk of cancer, let him quit smoking, I talked to him several times, but who told him to quit smoking, he was anxious with whom, for a long time, I didn't bother to talk about him. ”
Constantly addicted to smoking, regardless of his own health, Uncle Geng's behavior has made his wife Aunt Fang feel very distressed. What makes Aunt Fang even more victimized is that Uncle Geng smokes at will, regardless of the occasion, even in front of his son, who is only a few years old, he also wants to smoke.
When eating with his wife and son, Uncle Geng wants to smoke; when he holds his son, Uncle Geng wants to smoke; when he sees the guest, he doesn't ask a question, a cigarette is handed over, and he also takes the initiative to help people light a fire, if people don't smoke, his face is not good, although he doesn't say it in person, but afterwards he will complain endlessly about the person's nest, saying that real men will smoke.
In order to smoke, Uncle Geng did not cause any less trouble. Once, after he finished smoking, he threw the unquenched cigarette butt under the curtain, causing a fire, fortunately, no major incident. Another time, Uncle Geng smoked in the elevator, angry with the lady holding the baby on the side, not only quarreled with him, but also reported to the police, in the end, Uncle Geng suffered a fine, after that, he began to pay attention, not to smoke outside, but in front of the family, still do their own thing.
"Under my education, my son doesn't smoke either, but we can't do anything with him."
02. I was afraid that second-hand smoke would affect my grandson's health, so he made a guarantee that his daughter-in-law would let him move in;
Some time ago, Aunt Fang's daughter-in-law gave birth to a son, which made Aunt Fang upgrade to become a grandparent.
Recently, the daughter-in-law finished maternity leave, needed to go back to work, needed someone to take the baby, called Aunt Fang, asked Aunt Fang to take the baby, Aunt Fang agreed.
However, the daughter-in-law specially stressed that she should not go to her father-in-law: "Mom, it is not that I do not understand things, I want to break up your old two mouths, and do not honor my father, but you also know that my father likes to smoke, regardless of the occasion, do not listen to dissuasion, he once smoked in my face." We adults are fine, but children are definitely not allowed to touch second-hand smoke. ”
Aunt Fang was also worried about her grandson's health and had no confidence in her wife, so Aunt Fang agreed to her daughter-in-law's request and did not plan to take her wife with her. However, Uncle Geng stopped doing it, and he was noisy and noisy at home, and he had to go with Aunt Fang.
"You're gone, I'm alone in the house, who cooks for me?" Let me starve to death? ”
"If you don't let me go, don't you go, they'll bring their own babies!"
In desperation, Aunt Fang had to take a step back, asking Uncle Geng to make a guarantee with her son and daughter-in-law, and repeatedly stressed that for the health of her grandson, she would never smoke at home, and if she wanted to smoke, she had to go to the balcony until the smell of smoke dissipated before she could enter the house and get close to her grandson.
After listening to the father-in-law's promise, plus the need for someone to bring a baby, Aunt Fang's daughter-in-law also agreed to give the father-in-law a chance.
03. The daughter-in-law can't bear it, the son's marriage is in jeopardy, and I can't let him harm my son;
"I'm so stupid, I've been married to him for so many years, don't you know what kind of goods he is?" How could he be the kind of person who would think about his children and grandchildren? ”
Uncle Geng did not take his promise seriously at all, and even took the warnings of his wife and daughter-in-law as a bystander. At first, when his daughter-in-law was at home, Uncle Geng would still restrain himself, but he quickly forgot the warnings of everyone.
That day, the son went out to work, Aunt Fang and her daughter-in-law went out to buy vegetables, and Uncle Geng was alone at home to watch his grandson. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law returned, they saw a scene that made people feel angry.
"The dead old man, while swallowing clouds and spitting fog, teased my grandson, and the smoke spread to the child's face. My daughter-in-law saw it, screamed, rushed up, snatched the child over, ran out with the child in her arms, went to the hospital, and I chased after her. ”
Although the grandson was not in serious trouble, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were also well educated by the doctor. Back at home, the wife smoked at her son's house to anger her daughter-in-law, and she could not end it.
"Either Dad will leave, or I'll take my son and get out, you choose."
Uncle Geng was playing at home, refusing to leave, saying that he wanted to leave, and Aunt Fang had to leave together.
"I was really going to die of anger and told him that not only do you have to move out, but you also have to quit smoking, and I don't want to smoke second-hand smoke anymore." Either you quit smoking, we both rent a house, it's convenient for me to bring my grandchildren, or you live alone. ”
"Do you still want grandchildren?" Do you believe that I let your son leave you alone in the future? In the end, under the threat of Aunt Fang, her son and daughter-in-law, Uncle Geng had to move out and live alone.
04. You don't think about others, why should others think about you from your point of view?
The book "Why Home Hurts" writes: "The key reason why understanding between relatives is so difficult is that we are accustomed to starting from our own coordinate system to speculate, speculate, evaluate and even attack another person." But completely forgot that the other party also has a phenomenon field, a coordinate system completely different from their own. ”
You don't think about others, so why do others think about you from your point of view? You don't take the feelings of your children and grandchildren seriously, you don't have the appearance of elders, and even become a major scourge in the family, so how can your children and grandchildren think of filial piety and respect for you?
If the parents are not loving and disrespectful to the elderly, they always add chaos to the family, and the children are filial to each other, and they cannot stand such parents. They can't ruin their lives for you!
I advise parents to be an elder, to be an elder, otherwise, it will be difficult for you to get the respect and heartfelt filial piety of your children and grandchildren.
END.
Today's topic: What is your opinion of Uncle Geng? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.