Before entering into marriage, husband and wife are two independent individuals.
They live in different environments, the experience of growing up is different, the people they contact are different, the way they deal with problems is different, the personality is different, and they will naturally be estranged because of differences.
With estrangement, contradictions and quarrels are inevitable, which is a reasonable thing.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with quarrels between husband and wife, but in terms of marriage, quarrels are a disguised way to reflect the problems of each other's feelings.
Just like our body, uncomfortable will appear corresponding symptoms, such as fever, cold and headache, after the problem, the right medicine is good.
Therefore, the quarrel itself will not bring too many negative effects to the marriage, and some people even say that couples who do not quarrel are terrible.
What makes the feelings between husband and wife really appear is each other's handling attitude after the quarrel, whether it is communication, whether it is forbearance, or argumentation, or cold violence.
In a relationship between the sexes, after a husband and wife quarrel, the more the man can bear to ignore you, the more it explains a problem.
After a husband and wife quarrel, the more the man can bear to ignore you, the more it shows that he does not love you
Many things, we know that doing it will make the other party feel unhappy, but we still do it, then, this is not a mistake, but a choice.
We know that we will make the other person unhappy when we do it, but we know that we are not doing it right, but we still ignore it.
Because we don't love him (her), naturally we don't care about his (her) feelings, and since we don't care about each other's feelings, why spend time and energy to chat with him (her)?
Moreover, no matter how busy a person is, it is impossible to look at the mobile phone all day long.
Therefore, after a husband and wife quarrel, the more the man can bear to ignore you, the more it shows a problem, that is, he does not love you, nothing more.
Zhu Yaoxie once said: "The true love between men and women cannot be achieved by body or spirit, but can only be achieved in the state of mutual integration of each other's body and spirit." ”
Good marriages will also have barriers, but these barriers will also be resolved in timely and effective communication, rather than ignoring them, rather than ignoring them.
Such a marriage, which is full of cold violence, will only erupt in silence and eventually perish in silence.
How can someone who truly loves you be willing to let you be wronged?
I remember watching a video before, the little boy in the video was about three or four years old, at the dinner table at the family party, he kept stirring the hot pot soup with chopsticks.
He didn't think it was dangerous, he just thought it was funny, and the soup that came out of the stirring burned other people several times, and his mother stopped him from listening.
At this time, the mother changed her way, only to see her holding chopsticks and dipping a little soup on the little boy's hand.
The little boy was in pain, knowing that the soup would burn people, so he stopped stirring.
Many times, people don't feel that there is anything wrong with a thing, because it has not been experienced in him, and only when he feels it can he truly understand whether it is good or bad.
Everyone knows that cold violence is uncomfortable, and everyone knows that when the other party does not understand themselves, it is easy to think wildly, and it is easy to be mentally tortured.
If you love someone, you will not be willing to let the other person be hurt.
On the contrary, if you don't love someone, you will be full of indifference.
At this time, we need to recognize the reality, we need to re-understand our love, rather than insisting on it, or reluctant to give up.
As Sanmao once said: "Some people have never returned after leaving, so waiting and hesitation are the most ruthless killers in the world." ”
Men ignore us, but we can't ignore ourselves
The author of "Intimate Relationships" said: "Your intimate relationship partner is used to help you know yourself better, heal your wounds, and finally find your true self, so it is a bridge to our souls." ”
In other words, the lover himself can bring us a sense of experience of happiness.
But under the cold violence, we only experience the insecurity of self-doubt and self-denial, how can we possibly experience happiness?
After the quarrel, the man knows that cold violence will make people unhappy, but he still does it, that is, he does not love us, we need to recognize this reality.
The love we want is two loves, and it is two people who can have the confidence to go on together, rather than making us feel that our choice is not right in the end, whether it is worth it or not.
If love becomes like this, then it means that the relationship is not suitable for us, and we do not have to continue to spend time with a man who does not love us.
At this time, the best thing to do is to stop the loss in time.
Don't feel that you can make men change their minds through paying or currying favor regardless of the cost, which is undoubtedly a fool's dream.
We can't change anyone, but we can change ourselves. Stop loss in time, adjust your mindset, believe in yourself, and you can definitely meet love around the corner.