When chatting with our elders in life, we often hear some sayings. Most of these sayings are concise and concise, and in a few sentences, they tell the great truths of the world. For example, this sentence "Relatives come to the door, not worth half a text", which fully shows the bitterness and bitterness of the old married life. Let's take a look at the meaning behind it.
Ancient marriages
Visiting the house is not worth half a text
This saying is actually very easy to understand, it is mainly aimed at the woman's family, and has two meanings. The first layer is that the status of the woman's family is weaker than that of the man, and even if she is wronged in the husband's family, the mother's family is not able to support the daughter. His right to speak is worthless in his husband's family, and he can only watch his daughter being bullied.
Just like Jia Yingchun in "Dream of the Red Chamber", he was bullied after marrying Sun Shaozu. Although Madame Wang's cry for her was seen in her eyes and hurt in her heart, she was "more than enough in her heart and insufficient in strength."
Mrs. Wang
After all, yingchun is not his own biological daughter, and second, even if he is biological, with the current situation of Jia Province, it has long been different from the past, and in the Sun family, which is now in the limelight, there is no right to speak at all. Going to the Sun family to seek justice is tantamount to hitting a stone with a pebble, and if it is not good, it will anger the other party and implicate the entire Jia family. So I had to ignore it and watch Yingchun being bullied to death.
Jia Yingchun
The second layer is that the daughter marries into the husband's family to receive full grace, and the mother's family visits the door twice in order to "climb the branches", borrow the relationship between the relatives, ask the in-laws to do things, and see their own face as worthless.
It is like Yang Guozhong, the brother of Yang Guifei, because her sister Yang Yuhuan was crowned as a noble concubine and was favored by Tang Xuanzong. Three times and twice, he asked his sister to say a few kind words for himself, so that he could meet the emperor. Later, under the many kind words of Yang Guifei, he finally climbed the high branch and became a heavy minister in the court.
Yang
But he did not stop there, but intensified his efforts to seek military merit from the emperor. It can be said that for the sake of self-interest, it has long left such things as face and self-esteem behind. Subsequently, he became more and more adrift, and then the status of his sister Yang Guifei was opposed to the new upstart An Lushan. In the end, he completely angered An Lushan, causing him to lead an army to rebel and launch the "Anshi Rebellion". At this time, in order to quell this riot, Tang Xuanzong gave his relatives to death without saying a word. It can be seen from this that Yang Guozhong, who claimed to be a relative of the emperor and the state, was worthless in the eyes of Tang Xuanzong. Once you infringe on your own rights and interests, you are like an "outcast".
Yang Guozhong
The reason behind the colloquialism
As for why the above two phenomena occur, it is actually easy to understand. It is well known that the status of women in ancient times was generally very low, and they were often the weaker party in marriage. Just like the woman in "Poetry", she was abandoned by her husband and returned home not only without comfort, but also ridiculed by her mother's family.
people
To exaggerate, in ancient times women were commodities, especially in poor families. Whoever pays the most money will sell his daughter to whomever he wants. After marriage, if the other party is disgusted and abandons her, the mother's family is not good enough to support her. After all, the customer is God, and you have ever seen a seller argue with the buyer for the goods, not all of which make amends to the buyer and put the responsibility on himself.
At the same time, because women are in a lower position in marriage, the female parents who are also relatives are naturally one head lower than the man. And if the status of the mother's family is lower than that of the husband's family, then the woman's parents can't look up in front of the family.
It's like a talented woman surnamed Li in the Ming Dynasty. Although full of poetry books, her appearance is delicate. However, due to his low status, even if he was favored by a rich man, he could only be used as a concubine. After all, in that era of the right door, the door is still very important. As a concubine, in order to comply with the rules of the time, she married Miss Qianjin of the Houmen family together with the rich prince.
Houmen Qianjin, who was the main chamber after marriage, was jealous that she was favored by her husband, so he used her husband to go out to do business and kicked him out of the house with his mother-in-law on the charge of "false accusations". The talented girl, who has no way to go and has lost her soul, returns to her mother's house and cries to her father. Because Father Li only has this one precious daughter, he can't see that she has been wronged. So he went to the rich man's house to support his daughter and seek justice. As a result, it can be imagined that his little Lang Zhong did not even meet the other party's face, and he was put on the charge of privately breaking into a famous house and beaten twenty times. Father Li returned home, and the daughter witnessed her father's tragic situation, and had to endure it silently and swallow the pain.
epilogue:
From this point of view, the meaning behind the colloquialism is really lamentable. In the old feudal society, the patriarchal door was everything. Even if you are a victim and a weak person, you will not be sympathized with and will do justice for you. Fortunately, this dark period has passed, and in today's era of equality between men and women, women finally have the right to speak and are no longer the party who is bullied.
Equality
Finally, I hope that neither the parents of the man nor the parents of the woman should regard marriage as a commodity transaction or have any opinion. In dealing with the marriage of children and daughters, we must uphold the principle of fairness and justice, help and not help relatives, and let this saying completely disappear in the world.