He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
When it comes to breakups, some people subconsciously think: definitely not in love.
In fact, in addition to love, there are more factors that determine how long two people's feelings can last.
Like what:
The difference in thinking between men and women determines the way the two treat feelings, and the forms of ending feelings are different.
Girls always like to "tentatively break up", they mention breaking up with you, not necessarily really want to break up; girls are just testing you to see if you care about her and how to keep her.
And the boys?
Boys mention breaking up, and most of them have no room for relaxation.
Because the boy will not easily mention the breakup, once he announces that he wants to end the relationship with you, it means that he has thought a lot in his heart.
So, what are the reasons for the breakup of feelings between men and women, in addition to not loving enough?
First: the big breakup of the difference in thinking patterns
For example:
Boys and girls always quarrel, and every time they quarrel, girls will complain, and boys are just silent.
The girl said:
"You're always so cold, don't you know that if you admit your mistakes, won't you make me happy?"
"Why didn't you ignore me?" Are you trying to separate from me? ”
In the boy's heart, there are actually not so many ideas.
Boys just don't know how to deal with the contradictions between the two people, and don't know how to alleviate the girl's irritable mood.
Over time, in this state of different thinking patterns and different ways of falling in love, the feelings of two people are in jeopardy and develop in a worse and worse direction.
In a short period of time, we can tolerate the unbearableness of our partners and tolerate each other's indifference.
Because as long as there is enough love, two people will choose to live together.
Once love enters a period of blandness, then this contradiction cannot be hidden.
When the contradiction is on the surface, but no one is willing to change the contradiction, what should be done?
The final outcome, of course, is separation.
Second: Tiredness and stress unbearable
Why do some couples fall in love with each other, their feelings are getting better and better, and they can see rich, sweet and delicate feelings on their faces?
Why do some couples, the longer they are in love, the more they can feel the sadness and the exhaustion on their faces?
The most essential reason is that two people can no longer live with each other.
For example:
No matter what you do, you don't get the support and recognition of the other person; not only that, he always hits your confidence, degrades your grades, and always hurts your self-esteem.
Over time, you will feel tired.
This kind of exhaustion is psychological, mental exhaustion.
One side is constantly crushing you from all sides, taunting you, and crushing you breathlessly; over time, you will only think of escaping from this relationship.
In intimate relationships, what is needed is praise, recognition and appreciation.
Only by continuing to appreciate each other can we keep each other attractive.
If you put too much pressure and negative emotions on the other person, he won't put up with you all the time.
Third: "I don't deserve you, you're too good"
Some emotional breakups are one-sided.
It is not that they do not love, but they love each other too much, resulting in their own inner inferiority.
There's a story about a male reader.
Male readers have been in love with their girlfriends for more than 4 years and have always planned to get married.
But his original family conditions are average, and the girl is the only daughter in the family.
If you want to marry a girl, you must buy a house in the girl's city; but when you buy a house, the boy does not save enough for a down payment.
On the one hand, the opposition of the girl's parents, on the other hand, the two people are getting older, the boy's income is not enough to support, and the original family cannot help him.
Although the girls also want to contribute, they are still in a cup of water.
In the end, the boy took the initiative to give up the relationship, because he also saw the panic, disappointment and uncertainty in the girl's eyes.
There is a kind of love, which is the person who takes the initiative to let go of love.
This is a kind of helplessness, it is the inability to give each other a good life, it is a compromise with life.
In reality, there is no shortage of such examples.
If there are enough conditions and enough confidence, who wants to give up their love?
The reason why the other party is separated from you is not necessarily that he does not love you, but because of his continuous sense of inferiority.
Fourth: The objective conditions of the two people are too different
The factors that lead to the breakup, in addition to the subjective factors, there are also objective factors.
What are the subjective factors?
Emotional discord, no love, lack of emotional value, lack of attraction.
So, what are the objective factors?
The work, income, social status of two people; the conditions behind the family, the cultural level of the parents, the living patterns of the two family families, etc.
You have to understand that the marriage of the moment is not just a marriage of two people.
Until you don't have enough financial means, you simply can't sway your marriage.
When it comes to marriage, you need to consider your parents' opinions.
Most importantly, even if you choose to marry each other regardless of your parents' opinions, the huge differences between two people's families will create many contradictions for you after marriage.
Instead of living in contradictions all day long after marriage, it is better to solve emotional problems before marriage.
With the ability to solve problems, they continue to be in love until they enter marriage.
There is no ability, only compromise, good gathering and dispersion.
Today's Topic:
Why are you separated from your loved ones?
(Article with picture source network)