There is a saying that "filial piety comes first".
Chatting with the elderly, their topics, always can not avoid the children. When it comes to children, in addition to their work, family and income, the elderly care most about whether the children are filial piety.
Parents raise their children, and when they are old, they also hope to be treated kindly by their children and live a happy old age.
It's just, do you know that whether a child is filial or not may have been decided when he was a child. Because of some of his actions, he has already told you whether he will treat you well or not care about you in the future.
In the future, children who are not filial piety will generally have 4 "signals", and may your baby not occupy one.
One: Bump into your parents at every turn
Children generally go through two "rebellious" periods. One is 3-4 years old and the other is puberty.
In both stages, the child will want to be able to do what he wants. If the parents interfere, or do not allow them to do so, the child will indeed resist and even resist.
Talking back is a manifestation of the development of self-awareness, and parents don't have to worry too much.
But if the child can't move to resist, he will return to his mouth when you say anything, and even can't help but hit you and kick it. For such a child, parents should pay attention.
There was a man next to me, when he was a child, who once asked his mother to come home and cook. And my mother felt that it was still early, chatting with the neighbors was happy, thinking of coming back later.
As a result, the boy ran to the neighbor's house and scolded, blaming his mother for being lazy and not taking good care of him. Even when pulling my mother, I hammered my mother's back.
The neighbors are all talking behind their backs, what can this mother do when she is old, do you still expect this son to be filial piety?
Sure enough, when the boys grew up, they emptied the family's savings, even sold the family house, and drove their parents to live in a tattered and leaky house.
He himself took the money and was happy outside, and he didn't even come back home.
The child confronts his parents because your request is inconsistent with his ideas, and he fights for his rights. We can discern whether the child's rebuttal is reasonable. If it is reasonable, then we should not think too much of our parents and suppress our children.
But if the child confronts you, it's all because he's dissatisfied, you're doing something that's not what he wants, and he's showing rough behavior towards you. Then we must control it in time and not give in because of coddling.
Otherwise, when you get old, you will suffer yourself.
Two: Habitual complaints about parents
Some children's mantra is that it's all because of you.
I forgot to bring books to class, and the child complained that it was because of you that I didn't tidy up my school bag, and I was punished.
I got up late, the child said, all because you don't call me, so I'm late.
When things were not satisfactory, he habitually complained about his parents, believing that it was the parents' fault that led to things going wrong.
Such a child, when he grows up in the future, if his life is not as good as others, he will say that it is because you have not given me a better life that I have lived so badly.
If he has a grudge against his parents, how can he treat them well?
So, we have to tell our children from an early age that we are their parents, not nannies.
The child's own affairs should be held accountable. We can help him, but we have no obligation to manage his life for him. When a problem arises, the child should reflect on whether he did not do a good job, which led to a mistake, rather than habitually shirking responsibility.
Three: Do not share with parents
There are good food in the house, and the children are all occupied by themselves. You tell him, give Mom and Dad a little to eat, the child refuses, don't!
In the eyes of the child, the good things in the family are all given to him. The rest is bad, he doesn't want, in order to give it to Mom and Dad.
Once the child has formed such a character, he will become selfish, feel that his parents are good to him, it is right, if he eats anything good, it is unfair to him.
Such a child will only think about himself in the future, and will not worry about his parents.
If the parent can be self-sufficient, it is good, once he needs the help of the child, then he will feel that the parents drag him down and bring him trouble.
Such a child, it is difficult to be filial piety in the future.
When we raise children, we usually have good things, remember to share them together, and do not just give children alone. In this way, he will form the concept of "sharing" rather than selfishness.
Four: Not grateful to parents
I have seen a netizen post that in the coordinates of fourth-tier cities, his parents failed to buy him a house and a car, and could not help his work. Such parents, should they be grateful?
One of the most praised replied that your parents did not let you grow up hungry and frozen, did not accidentally drop you into hot water, did not lose your hand to let you fall down the stairs, you are grateful to Dade.
Some children will think that they were not born noble enough, the family is not rich enough, and thus dissatisfied with their parents. When such a child grows up, there will not be much gratitude except for their parents who resent themselves.
When we raise children, we try to compare them with others as little as possible, give more love and affirmation, and let them be rich in their hearts.
In this way, the child does not lose himself materially and compares his parents with others.
A child who can know filial piety and know gratitude will generally not appear these signals. May your children, one not accountable.
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】