All parents, which do you think is more important, spending more time with your children or earning more money? | read along

Article authorization is transferred from | Uncle Kai Storytelling (ID: kaishujianggushi)

Text | Miss Muang Lai

Broadcast | Wu Bingjie

Column host | Du Runnan

Parenting,

It is better to earn less money than to spend more time with your children

Last week, a friend and a 13-year-old son got into an argument. My son has recently become addicted to games, his grades have slipped, and he has become lazy.

In order to stop her son's game addiction, she took away her son's mobile phone. Who knows, the son reached for the mobile phone and pushed his friend down on the sofa.

The friend was confused, and the son realized that he had done something wrong, and quickly helped his mother. After returning to God, my friend asked himself: I tried my best to give my son the best, why is this so?

That night, she pulled her husband to discuss the reasons for educational negligence.

There are three reasons: busy, too busy, always busy!

Many parents love to say to their children: Dad/Mom earns money for this family, you have to understand.

But the question is: how should the child understand?

An education expert said: "Children who are not disciplined are the most terrible." Because when he makes a mistake, no one will stare at him, and he doesn't know that he is ruining everything his parents have worked so hard to run.

Children who often get along with their parents, if properly educated, will be stimulated with vitality in life and full of motivation with goals; if parents are lazy in education, children will lack self-confidence in themselves, and they will have no goal and lack motivation to do things.

educate

It is the career of the parents' life

Regarding raising babies, psychologist Erikson helped everyone calculate an account:

Before the child is 2 years old, take more care of him, he can have self-motivation;

Before the child is 6 years old, encourage him more, he will study harder;

Before the child is 12 years old, respect him more, he can learn to be independent.

Self-motivated, self-disciplined, independent... Children with these qualities will generally achieve higher achievements in the future than their peers.

In school, they perform well and are liked by teachers and classmates; after graduation, they are strong in action and will be the darlings of the workplace.

Therefore, after raising a baby, parents are "making money".

A news item has sparked a hot discussion on the Internet: a father gave up a high-paying job to go to work in a kindergarten.

In the past, he and his wife were busy with work, leaving work late, always asking neighbors to pick up their daughters.

Looking at the child's lonely face, he felt extremely guilty in his heart, "The child's growth is only once, and once it is missed, it will not come back."

Realizing this, he decided to apply for a chef at the kindergarten, not only for winter and summer vacations, but also to leave work early to pick up his daughter from school.

"I stay at the school gate every day, pick up my daughter home, and the child is super excited, always the first to rush out of the school door and run into my arms", talking about his daughter's reaction to his job hopping, the father's face was full of smiles.

Giving up high salaries just to accompany children, this practice makes many people in the comment area not understand: "Is it not good to earn more money for children?" "Only those who have the foundation dare to do this."

People who say this do not see the essence of education, and a British psychoanalyst believes that the child's happiness and independence index should also be one of the economic indicators of society.

Children who are happier in childhood have stronger social skills and happier marriages in adulthood; children with a healthier mind have a stronger sense of responsibility and more successful careers in adulthood; children with more independent personalities have stronger mobility and a richer income when they become adults...

Give the best to the child,

It is better to accompany the child to do the best

In the BBC documentary "School Exchange: Class Differences", a Syrian girl is admitted to Oxford University.

She attends a loose, liberal high school where students read very poorly, averaging only 7-year-olds.

Her success depends on her parents' painstaking efforts. The family fled syria to Britain and are financially stretched.

They do not understand education, but they will accompany their children to learn very late, and they also allow children to "dream". With the support of her parents, the girl grew up to be full of morale. Later, the girl really realized her dream and was admitted to Oxford University.

Psychologists believe that intrinsic motivation is the key to a person's success.

Good grades do not come from cram schools; they come from the abundant mental strength given by their parents. This strength is the internal motivation for children to succeed.

Remember, an education expert once talked about a topic: what kind of parents can cultivate talents?

The first type of parent refuses to lower the standard of living. They desperately earn money and satisfy vanity, and as a result, they spoil their children excessively, and it is easy to raise "waste firewood";

The second type of parent, Jackie Chan, ignores self-discipline. They give high requirements to children, low requirements for themselves, do not accompany children to explore the world, it is easy to cultivate mediocre materials;

The third kind of parent can meet the child just right. They can turn off their phones, give up some opportunities to earn money, spend an afternoon patiently with their children doing a math problem, and they are most likely to develop talent.

The time and money sacrificed by parents did not waste a single bit in vain. All of them are absorbed into the child's body and transformed into spiritual power.

Earn money for children,

It is better to cultivate children's self-motivation

Dear parents, please stop thinking of yourself as your child's "cash machine", and from now on, accompany your child to do these three things:

First, accompany your child to explore the outside world. Guide him to do a thing from beginning to end, no matter whether it is done well or not, you must patiently accompany him to finish it;

Second, accompany children to learn and improve. Children are not motivated to learn, often because of the lack of goals, parents help children plan big goals, small goals, is equivalent to pushing the child behind the back.

Third, encourage your child to move forward. Allowing children to try some exploration under the supervision of their parents, such as climbing trees, climbing mountains, running, these small adventures in daily life will motivate children to become more and more courageous.

Also, avoid doing these three things:

Don't spoil your child and give and take. When the child has needs, give basic satisfaction, additional rewards, and encourage the child to make an effort to fight;

Don't neglect your children and let them go. Children can grow up physically on their own, but the mind needs external guidance to mature, and parents should give their children more understanding and respect;

Don't be harsh on children and suppress and belittle. With more encouragement, a confident child can learn to be independent earlier.

When parents regard raising children as the most important career in their lives, many problems in their children's growth are naturally solved.

This article is reproduced in Uncle Kai's storytelling (ID: kaishujianggushi), which unites 60 million families, brings good hope to parents, and allows more children to have a happy childhood.

Responsible Editor | Du Runnan