Since raising my child as a snail, I am much more comfortable | reading with me

Article authorization is transferred from | Daughter Pie (ID: nverpai)

Author | Daughter Pie Brine Egg Mom

Broadcast | Wu Bingjie

Column host | Du Runnan

Since becoming a mother, the most spoken word is: fast! Hurry up! Come on!

But no matter how hysterical I am, my daughter always looks lazy: "Mom, I'm already very fast, can you please stop urging?" ”

In the countless moments when my daughter was rubbing, procrastinating, and disobeying, I was "heartbroken" and roared in despair: "Why is my child as slow as a snail?" ”

I picked up the whip of urging over and over again, but with little success, and finally it hurt the child and tired in my heart.

Until I accidentally read the prose poem "Leading a Snail for a Walk": God gave me a task and told me to lead a snail for a walk.

I couldn't go too fast, the snail had tried its best to climb, always moving a little bit at a time.

I urge it, I scare it, I rebuke it, and the snail looks at me with apologetic eyes, as if to say, "People have done their best!" ”

I pulled, I pulled, I even wanted to kick it, the snail was injured, it was sweating, gasping for breath, crawling forward.

......

"O God! Why? "There was silence in the sky. Could it be that I was mistaken?! It turned out that God had told the snail to take me for a walk.

After reading it, I burst into tears.

I treat my children like rabbits, but God's intention is for me to raise my children as snails!

Raising children as snails, I finally recognized that rubbing is the nature of children.

Every time I asked three times in a row: Did the homework be done? Did you play the piano? Did you memorize the text? My daughter always looked at me with a blank face: "Not yet." ”

After 20 minutes, she sat in front of the piano, holding her homework book and textbook, and was even more confused: "Mom, which one to do first."

Studies have found that children's brain development is not yet sound, and memory and comprehension need to be improved. So, in the face of a series of instructions from her parents, her first reaction is not "I should hurry", but "Which one am I going to do?" ”

That's why the more you urge the child, the slower she becomes. Ever since raising my child as a snail, I've caught the trick:

"This hour, you write your homework."

"This afternoon, you just have to practice the piano."

Under a single command, the daughter's concentration has become stronger and more efficient; in the environment of no urging, the daughter is no longer sincere and afraid, and is more interested in learning.

Yeah, as parents, we've been judging fast and slow by our own standards. However, the speed of the child's small world should not be defined by us.

Sensing the rhythm of the child's growth, I found that every day she made small progress.

Raising children as snails, I have to give up comparison: other people's children are rabbits, my family is a snail, and it is completely incomparable.

When I gave up comparison, I felt that the confusion was solved and the anxiety disappeared.

In the case of learning piano, my daughter's acceptance is indeed very poor. On the same day into the training class, the Zhang family mother has already shown off in the circle of friends that the child can play a song, my child, the teacher said the most is: "Your child should grasp the practice ah..."

I vented all this resentment on the child: "Why are you so stupid? What others can do, you can't do? ”

The daughter held back tears and bowed her head.

Later, she enrolled her daughter in a roller skating class, but this time her performance was unexpected. In just a few days, the daughter mastered the trick and became a woman with the wind on the field.

In this matter, the daughter does not need to be urged at all, and every time she arrives at the point, she even turns against the guest: "Mom, can you hurry up?" It's almost late. ”

A very simple truth: the ruler is short, the inch is long, not every child is a rabbit, and the snail that is disliked has its own shining point.

I think of another popular article on the whole network, the mother is a master, the father is a doctor, and I hope that my son will become a talent, but I did not expect that my son's academic performance is not good.

In order to let her son's academic performance go up, the mother exhausted the method, and the result was counterproductive, and the son's health deteriorated because he stayed up late. "I had to accept the reality that my children, indeed, were ordinary."

Letting go of comparison and anxiety, the mother discovered more and more of her son's strengths: he liked to study cooking, he was kind-hearted, he knew how to be grateful...

Since raising the child as a snail, I no longer stare at her biggest shortcomings, and learn more to accept and discover.

Snails climb very slowly, but one day, they will catch up with rabbits. Even if you can't catch up, what can you do? She's already a snail who has done her best!

Her persistence, hard work, self-discipline... Isn't that a brighter flash than a "good"? I believe that a truly excellent child is never better than out, but loved out.

My own children, even if slow as snails, can receive unconditional love. Once, I often showed that sense of superiority in front of my children: "Your father and I are both school bullies, how did you give birth to such a scum?" ”

Remember when my daughter looked at me with hatred: "I can't do anything, right?" I hate Mom! ”

The contradictions continue to escalate, the parent-child relationship is rigid, and the daughter becomes more and more rebellious, simply breaking the jar and breaking it: "Anyway, in your eyes, I can't do anything." ”

Later, I no longer "only the theory of grades", my daughter failed the exam, I took her out to travel to relax, comforting: "Your mother also took the countdown exam that year, didn't she also get into college?" ”

Who knows, the little girl was said to laugh, and she was a little embarrassed: "Mom, I didn't do well in this exam, next time I will definitely work hard!" ”

Children's upbringing should be slow, give them more space, let them slowly draw their own blueprint for life. ”

When I let go of my anxiety and put more energy into paying attention to the parent-child relationship, I found that giving children a fertile soil of love and tolerance can also quickly transform and accelerate growth.

After raising children as snails, I suddenly realized that immediate education is a myth, and the growth of children is itself a process that requires patience and waiting.

Not impatient, not anxious, accompanied by snail children to take it slowly, the child is comfortable, I am refreshed.

I also firmly believe that the little snail that "rubbed" walked slowly, but it must go far.

This article is from the daughter pie (ID: nverpai), about the dry goods of raising daughters, here are all; about the bittersweet of raising daughters, here are all understood; may they be pure in life, knowledgeable in life, and decent in life.

Responsible Editor | Du Runnan