In the morning, the crowded elevator stopped on the 8th floor, a mother and son came up, the mother dragged the sleeping and misty-eyed son into the elevator, and looked down at what was in the bag, only to hear the mother exhale in her mouth: "Did yesterday's homework book fit in?" The child said unhurriedly: "I don't know, it seems to be installed." "I can see that my mother's anger is even greater, but there are too many people in the elevator and I didn't roar out." Out of the elevator, the mother dragged the child with a roar and rushed to the door of the community.
I believe that such a scene will be staged in many families every moment, in the face of snail-like children, in addition to yelling, we should also find more scientific and effective ways to help children, so that children can actively complete their own things in their own rhythm. After all, the internal drive is the source of motivation for doing everything well.
Let the child gain a sense of presence and accomplishment - housework
This point the atmosphere of the cousin's house is particularly good, once went to her house to eat, the cousin fried the dish, I hurried to help, the cousin did not let me do it, but called his fourth-grade son to come and serve the dish, the nephew quickly cleaned up the table, ran to the kitchen to serve the dishes, took the dishes, and warmly pulled the chair to greet me to sit down, like a little master, after the meal, my cousin and I cleaned up the kitchen, the little nephew silently wiped the dining table clean outside, and the chairs were neatly arranged.
I understood my cousin's intentions, and her purpose in doing so was to cultivate the child's sense of ownership, to make him realize that he was a member of the family, that he was the master of the family like his mother, that he had the obligation and responsibility to participate in every job of the family, and that he should entertain me as a guest with his mother.
In these seemingly small things in life, children gradually find a sense of existence and achievement, and children can grow up healthy and happy.
Help your child develop a sense of time, starting with a five-minute training session – getting up
For children in the younger age group, they are timeless, when you are anxious to say to him: "Hurry, we are going to be late, he has no concept." "This requires us to subdivide the time to help the child establish a sense of time a little bit."
At 7:15 in the morning, she called her daughter to get up, she woke up to touch her eyes, and then hummed in the bed for a while, often need to rub for ten minutes, and then slowly get dressed, it is difficult to get out of the bedroom at 7:30, and the good mood in the morning is often destroyed by the friction of this little snail.
Later, I activated the 5-minute training method, and it worked, and at 7:15 I called her to get up, then set a five-minute alarm and told her: "Baby, is it okay to play with the alarm clock today, see if you get dressed first, or the alarm clock rings first?" As soon as she heard the game, the little girl sat up, "Hmm, the alarm clock is definitely not better than me", so she began to dress seriously, and I went to prepare breakfast. It was a pleasant start to the day.
The 5-minute training method can allow children to establish a sense of time, help children to concretize time and tasks, and gradually let children learn to manage their own time, efficiently complete their own planning, have autonomy, and control their own lives.
Parents set up emotional calm angles for themselves - homework
Neighbor Zhang Jie said very tangledly in a chat: "What do you say in the end?" I always couldn't help but yell at him, but once I yelled at him, he wouldn't be able to do those questions anymore. "I have seen the scene of Sister Zhang yelling at the child, her son belongs to the introverted child, every time Sister Zhang yells at him, he sits there motionless like a wooden man, letting his mother say what he says, not refuting, not resisting, his eyes staring straight at the book and not speaking.
Watching such a scene, I am quite distressed about the child, and as a mother, I also especially understand Sister Zhang's feelings. I suggest that Sister Zhang set up an "emotional cooling corner" at home, which can be a corner of the room, or another bedroom, when the process of tutoring homework realizes that she can't restrain herself and wants to get angry, silently tell herself that this is her own problem, and tell the child how she feels at the moment, let yourself go to the "calm corner" to be quiet for a while, wait for the soon-to-erupt self to calm down, and then sit down to solve the problem in the homework with the child.
Parents accompany the child's growth process, as far as possible to learn to manage their emotions, do not let the child become our bad mood of the pot man, especially in the case of tutoring homework, I believe that the child in a relaxed and happy atmosphere, the mind is more flexible, do things will be more efficient.
Walk into the child, use more encouraging language to motivate the child - praise
I also never skimp on encouraging children, of course, the words of encouragement are also skilled, we should use more descriptive language to encourage children, rather than simply responding: "You are awesome".
On the way to pick up the child from school, the child happily shared with me that the chinese teacher praised her today, and also sent her a letter of praise for the "calligraphy star", I pretended to be very excited to respond to her: "Yes, I admire you so much, I did not get such a letter of praise when I went to school, it seems that you insist on practicing words every day, it is really rewarding, my mother has to learn from you, really happy for you", my serious response, let the child feel that I am sincerely sharing her joy, so, The little girl then gushed about the school with me.
The child is so simple and cute, she can be very sensitive to capture whether your response is sincere or perfunctory, if she feels that every time the parents are patiently listening to themselves and sincerely giving encouragement, she will be more willing to open herself in front of her parents and mothers.
Let the child know that making mistakes is not terrible, and home is a solid backing - making mistakes
In the school group, friction between classmates, bumps is a very normal thing, but no matter how big or small, let the child know that parents will accept and tolerate him.
My daughter just went home with an injury on her face a few days after she was in the first grade, and she was reluctant to say what was going on, and my husband and I were so anxious that we still couldn't help but yell at her a few words, which opened our mouths to say the reason, it turned out that when I was in physical education class, I was knocked down by a relatively strong-looking classmate and fell to the ground.
In addition to the heartache, I also reflected with my husband on the way we handled this matter, we should not yell at the child, we should talk to the child well, and let the child know that it is acceptable to do not do well. Only when the child has enough security in his heart will he feel that no matter what happens, he can communicate with his family and solve the problem. And parents can only use the attitude of encouragement, trust, acceptance and tolerance to let their children feel enough security.
Learning is endless, parents' practice is always on the road, only by learning and growing, can we better accompany children through every stage of life. May each of our parents be able to adjust themselves, find the right way, and lead our little snails to enjoy the beautiful scenery of life together.
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