The Buddha said: "Bodhi has no tree, nor is the mirror a platform, there is nothing in the original, where to stir up dust" The state of mind is as calm as water!
Tao Yuanming's "picking chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, leisurely seeing the South Mountain" is very comfortable.
Or Du Fu "felt the tears of flowers when he felt, hated other birds and frightened", the grief of the country breaking the mountains and rivers.
"The ancient road west wind thin horse, the sunset in the west, the broken intestines in the end of the world", the wanderer's miserable state of mind.
Although the past has been dusted off for many years, at this time, you can still feel the emotional feelings at that time, just like the set of a series of movies.
When I was a child, for the sake of verbal pleasure, I stole 5 yuan from my parents and was beaten up.
Once, I broke my classmate's umbrella, and I couldn't compensate for the embarrassment and helplessness.
In the face of bullying and insults from junior high school classmates, powerless to confront and angry.
In high school, the girl who had her heart in mind did not dare to express panic and uneasiness.
Save a few weeks of meal ticket money, buy an early Walkman, and listen to the excitement and joy of Nicholas Tse's "Thank You for Your Love 1999".
Walking in the night of the lone lamp, let the rain pour down, the heart-wrenching pain of the first loss of love.
Carrying simple luggage, walking out of the university campus is confused and wandering.
Marriage and family relations are all kinds of trivialities, cut continuously, and the sorrows of chaos are still messy.
Quitting work again and again, anxiety about getting nothing done, sleepless nights.
Living in this material world, people are the carriers and experiencers of emotions, everyone is an independent individual, experiencing, sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and salty, life will be wonderful. Life is not about seeing the highest scenery, but about experiencing, the mindset when climbing the peak and the scenery along the way.
Three great joys of life: the night of the cave flower candle, when the title of the gold list is inscribed, he knows the hometown.
There are three major sorrows in life: the loss of a father in youth, a widow in middle age, and the loss of a son in old age.
The impermanence of life is the biggest law in the world, the accident and tomorrow, I don't know which day will come. In this life, there are not many things that are really happy, why bother, for some small things, depressed, torture themselves.
In this society where the lights are red and the materialism is rampant, we pay more attention to material interests, and we have to sharpen our heads to compete for such a little benefit. But the value brought by emotions is precisely ignored, and the value of emotions is the highest value.
In the face of emotions, everything in any objective world will be worthless, including one's own life!
Psychologically, according to the "emotional ABC theory": an event (A) caused by one behavior or multiple behaviors will cause an emotion (C), an emotion will inevitably lead to a behavioral result (D), between the behavior and the emotion, adding an evaluation (B) will change the emotion, the next behavior.
Example 1: Your husband was drunk in the middle of the night, and came home after midnight, "Dead ghost, go to drink with fox friends again, don't care about this family", very angry, began to complain, I am also for this family to socialize, no one can understand anyone, a big fight, more than half a month did not pay attention to him.
Your husband drinks late and comes home late, which causes you to be angry, and your evaluation is, "Husband is a person who does not care about his family and has no sense of responsibility," which will only make you feel unhappy and not good for your married life.
Behaviors and events cannot be changed, and a positive evaluation is given before emotions. "My husband also loves me, and I love this family very much, husband, you have worked hard." You will not be noisy because your husband comes home late, but you will be very concerned and hand over a cup of warm honey water.
Example 2: A child takes an exam, fails the exam, and returns home, at this time, you are very angry, and all kinds of emotions come up, and you are eager to beat up.
At this time, another evaluation system: "Other children are worse than my family's test, I am afraid that this test is too difficult." Without emotions at the emotional level, we can objectively analyze what causes children to learn poorly, find ways to solve problems efficiently at the logical level.
People often mix emotional systems with logical systems, and the hair and beard are grasped, and the more they are sorted out, the more chaotic they are.
Differentiated treatment can fundamentally solve the problem, in the marriage relationship, grasp more happiness, interpersonal relationships, with ease.
The list goes on and on. Emotionally, the hammer killed four roommates; killed his own mother; dropped two of his own flesh and blood from a tall building; and a fire that destroyed himself and his family.
The more emotions, deal with things, often backfire, when the emotions rise, do not make any major decisions, your decisions are not objective enough, not rational enough, will make your intestines regret.
At the emotional level, change the evaluation of behavior, to change emotions, and finally, change the consequences that cannot be borne, good results can produce good behavior, bring positive emotional value, start a good luck life, today, live better than yesterday.