Author | Inspector (total 1732 words, about 4 minutes to read)
As the saying goes, "children are not by the mother".
Many times, the relationship between mother and child, "walking and walking" is faded, and what parents can see is only the child's fading back.
The child has just been born, has no ability to take care of himself, and needs careful care from his parents;
As they grow up and go to school to make friends, they need to listen to their parents and learn to face things they have not been exposed to;
But when he becomes an adult, faced with marriage, children, and work, they have to do things according to their own ideas.
In this process, their own subjective consciousness and judgment are very important, these abilities, not can be practiced in a few days, but from an early age and the influence of their parents.
For example, on the topic of "sexual awareness", the behavior of children has a lot to do with their parents.
When children's sexual consciousness awakens, parents must pay attention to the separation of beds with their children, maintain a certain distance, so that they have a preliminary understanding of the difference between genders and avoid taking the wrong path.
★ What should parents do during the infancy of children's gender awareness?
Around the age of 3, it is the embryonic period of children's sexual consciousness, so that they can see the difference between themselves and the opposite sex, so that they can help them better shape their gender awareness.
In the traditional way of education, there is not so much attention to children's gender awareness, most of which is ignored or inexperienced by mothers, so that many behaviors blur the boundaries of children's gender.
And this blurring of boundaries will also cause many problems in the growth of children, and even bring negative effects to children for a lifetime, especially this psychological unhealthiness, which is very difficult to cure.
Therefore, the mother and the child take the initiative to sleep separately, so that the child has a gender-clear concept, has a preliminary understanding of the opposite sex, and understands how they should get along with other peers of the opposite sex. The consciousness of "men and women are different" is not only respect for others, but also protection for oneself.
▼ The child's gender germination has the following stages
★ When the child is around 3 years old, it is a critical period of "sexual enlightenment".
At this time, they have begun to have the consciousness of distinguishing between men and women, and this consciousness will gradually increase with their age, which is the initial sexual consciousness.
In the first or two years or so of their development of gender consciousness, this sexual consciousness will reach its peak, so before that, let them have their own private space, especially the son and mother, in different private environments. For example, more private things such as changing clothes, bathing, and sleeping should be done in their own independent environment.
At this time, the mother can prepare the small bed and essential items that sleep separately with the child in advance, such as dolls, toys, picture books, etc., first guide the child to sleep independently, the bed is not divided into rooms, and there is a conscious psychological preparation in order to make a better transition.
Each child's situation is different, should be treated differently, for children who lack a sense of "security", it is not impossible to gradually sleep in separate beds after the age of 5.
If you break up the bed and do not communicate with the child in advance, it is likely to cause the child to suddenly adapt, triggering a sense of loneliness and inferiority and insecurity.
If they do not choose to divide the bed, it is easy to leave a certain psychological dependence in their subsequent growth, resulting in their inability to actively think about gender issues on their own.
★Between the ages of 3 and 5, it is the executive stage in which you can gradually sleep in separate beds
When children enter the kindergarten age stage, they have their own friends, receive formal education, and gradually adapt to independence, and their sense of autonomy is enhanced, so parents can gradually take the initiative to propose the concept of bed separation with their children.
◆ Active bed splitting is not only good for children, but also beneficial for parents
When the child is three years old, there is already a basic ability to act, but also has a gender judgment and their own observation points, if the mother still does not avoid suspicion, did not sleep with the child, but also treats the child as a baby who does not understand anything, then, once the child is accustomed to sleeping with the mother or often sees some of the mother's private parts, then psychologically, the child will be very dependent on the mother, but also easy to lead to their curiosity multiplied.
Once the child uses this curiosity on other people of the opposite sex, it will stimulate the child's curiosity, and may even understand the end of the matter and form a wrong cognition through the wrong way.
This will not only cause some harm to others, but also make children form a wrong gender consciousness, which is not conducive to their future development.
If there is no separate bed, it is indeed very difficult for the child and the mother to find the opportunity to have their own space alone, and separation can not only exercise the child's ability to take care of themselves, but also allow the parents and children to have their own independent space, which has great benefits.
◆ The growth of boys should have independent characteristics
Boys' nature lies in "pioneering", putting themselves in an environment, which is also conducive to cultivating their own thinking ability and behavior exercise ability.
And this kind of room sharing behavior is also telling them that they have grown up and should have their own space and do things independently.
In this way, they will become stronger as they grow up and will have more tenacity when they encounter difficulties.
If parents encounter difficulties in implementation, they can also properly assume a virtual character, such as the child's favorite animated character and storyline, or a small partner around them.
Through such a person, let the child have a certain follow-up psychology, and then have more identification with the matter of dividing the room, so that they will not have too much resistance.
In the current situation where the pace of network development is relatively fast, children have more opportunities and more channels to contact the topic of "sex".
Instead of letting the child explore on his own, it is better to mention it to the child in advance, let the child have a preliminary understanding, lead by example, and regulate his own behavior, then, in the future, the child will not be particularly concerned and curious about this aspect.
Spicy Mom Quotes:
Parents must cultivate their children's sexual awareness in advance, whether it is through the way of sleeping in separate beds, or reading books and educational videos with their children, which can allow them to form the correct three views and their own independent and strong personality.
Parents will sleep in separate beds, put on the agenda, but also can effectively nip some mistakes in the bud.
Parents, how old did you let your child sleep in separate beds?
(Image from the Internet)