In the matter of managing children, every parent has their own ways and methods, some people pay attention to strict supervision, from a young age to make rules for their children, and some parents pay attention to happy education, so that children have a carefree childhood.
In the face of how to discipline children, there is a very big controversy between parents, we often say that three years old to see the big, seven years old to see the old, how to educate when they are young, directly affect the future, in the view of Shizuka's mother, the child not only has to manage, but also "hard to manage".
Why children should "strain the tube"
In the UK, there is a well-known psychiatrist who once conducted a study of a thousand 3-year-olds:
Divide the children's personalities into different types, and after a few decades, these children are already adults, but their personalities are no different from those of the time.
It can be seen that 3 years old is not empty, in addition, in Montessori education, it is also mentioned that the child's 6 years old, this age is also an important stage of children's personality shaping.
However, at this age, the child's brain is not fully developed, the consideration of the problem is not particularly rational, if the child's personality development, his future interpersonal skills may be very large, emotional intelligence is not high.
Parents should know that there are not only left and right brains in the brain, but also basic brains, mammalian brains, advanced rational brains and so on.
In addition, there is a priority development of the emotional brain, before the child's rational brain development is complete, the child is controlled by the emotional brain, parents want to educate the child through a reasonable way, may be "fantasy", and the correct way is to use the right to monitor the child, "hard management".
Professor Li Meijin, a well-known child psychologist expert, also said: 3-6 years old is the key period for the formation of children's personality, at this time, the child has some problems and parents are not happy to discipline, then after the child is 12 years old, the parents' words are garbage, he can't listen to it. When you manage him at the age of 3, he may cry and make a fuss, wait until he is 15 years old and then want to manage him, he can jump off a building, can take medicine to commit suicide, so 3-6 years old is the best time to discipline children, especially these 5 aspects must be "hard management".
Parents "manage" their children in these 5 aspects, and children are not only more independent, but also have higher emotional intelligence
Throw tantrums
When children lose their temper, there are no more than two reasons, one is to use tantrums to blackmail parents, and the other is to be self-centered, do not consider the feelings of others, and just vent their own stinky temper.
When the child cries and throws things, parents should be calm, do not use excessive emotions to stimulate the child, otherwise he will become more intense, of course, but also to do not compromise, calmly waiting for the child to finish the temper.
Wait until the child really calms down, and then seize the opportunity to be reasonable, tell the child that tantrums cannot solve the problem, and let them understand where the mistake is.
Never do housework
Many parents may feel that the child is still young, will not do housework at all, and do housework such a small thing, not enough to worry about teeth, in fact, children who do housework and children who do not do housework, after growing up, there is a big gap.
Harvard University once did a survey that showed:
For children who do housework and children who do not do housework, the employment rate after adulthood is 15:1, and the crime ratio is 1:10.
In the process of doing housework, the child understands the relationship between labor and harvest, so that such a person will not be lazy and lazy in the future, and will not embark on the road of crime, so the child will cultivate hands-on ability, independence and responsibility.
So if your child never does housework, then parents have to manage it, let them start by packing up their toys, and slowly learn to do their own things.
If you don't get the purpose, you threaten
After experiencing the "terrible 2 years old", many parents will meet the baby's hair part requirements out of helplessness for the baby's bad temper, which leads to the child's 3-year-old, once the request is rejected, it will threaten the parents.
For example: "If you don't buy me toys, I won't eat!" And so on.
There is also a way of threat, that is, to threaten with crying, in the face of this threat parents are helpless, especially in the outside mall, the child's crying will also cause people around to watch, parents will generally grasp to meet the child for the sake of face, the child finds this trick to try, will form a habit.
There is no concept of time
Children without the concept of time, when they reach the grade of school, it is easy to be late, bedridden, and procrastinating in writing homework, and when they enter the society in the future, they will also be disliked by people, so that people cannot trust them, and over time, such people's self-esteem will be frustrated.
Therefore, parents should start from the present, "manage" the child's time concept, adjust the rules of work and rest, get up at what time, write homework at what time, it is best to be accurate to the hour, and after making a plan, it is also necessary to distinguish between rewards and punishments.
Always making excuses
If parents find that when children face a thing, they always find a lot of excuses, do not want to do it, and have fear, then over time, the child will be devastated.
Parents should cultivate their children's sense of responsibility from an early age, pay attention to telling their children stories about shaping good behavior habits, because stories are shortcuts for children to acquire knowledge, tell children through stories, what is good quality, what is responsibility, when finding children to find excuses, do not directly accuse, to use humor to resolve, so that children can leave enough self-esteem.
There are no bad children in this world, only parents who will not teach, good behavior habits are a major factor in the success of children, and if you want to shape your child's sense of independence and good character, you must seize the critical period.
Source: The graphic originates from the network, if there is invasion and deletion.
EDIT: Xiao Huang