He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
People in the relationship, easy to fall into a misunderstanding:
"If you love me, you should accept everything from me; if I love you, you should possess everything from you."
But in fact, love is never completely possessive, but a co-existing relationship.
I want everything, and in the end it is always easy to lose the watermelon and pick up the sesame seeds.
Only by restraining your desires and maintaining your inner clarity and sanity can you maintain your feelings more freely.
In the process of getting along with the opposite sex, the most taboo "greed".
People who are insatiable insatiable are always blinded by their own ambitions and desires, and eventually lose their original intentions.
-01
What are the manifestations of greedy people in relationships?
First: I want the other person to be perfect, but I am not perfect
I think of a few lines from Flammable and Explosive:
"Think of me as cold, think of me flirtatious and mean; want me to be sunny, but also want me not to shake." 」
People are always selfish in their feelings, accustomed to giving the "most perfect" quality to the partner, and then demanding the partner according to the standard of perfection.
But in fact, they don't understand at all: no one is perfect.
For men:
He wanted to find a beautiful, well-built, sensible, gentle, understanding woman who had to go up to the hall and down to the kitchen.
For women:
She wants to find a handsome, tall, sunny and gentle, considerate and kind, rich and talented, but also dedicated to feelings of good boys.
But what perfect thing in the world?
If you are not perfect yourself, but you ask your partner to be perfect, this is "greed".
People who get along with their partners with greed will only dislike each other more and more.
At the beginning of love, it is the "halo effect" that masks the shortcomings of the other party; but when the hot love period is over and the other party's shortcomings are revealed, it is easy to have a dislike for this feeling.
Second: if you want the horses to run, you don't give the horses grass
Some people's state in the relationship is: lenient than self-discipline, strict with others.
The requirements for themselves are average, but the requirements for their partners are extreme;
Their own ability is average, but they always require their partner to do everything;
You can only share happiness, but you can't share suffering with each other;
I want good feelings, but I am not willing to make an effort.
"Yours is mine, mine or mine; we love each other, and you have to be good to me."
Abbreviated as "double standard".
People with double standards have a strong desire to control in their feelings, trying to seize the initiative of feelings and then manipulate their partners.
But in fact, they never give for their feelings, but just take it for granted to enjoy each other's love.
If you want a horse to run, but don't give it grass, what is such a good thing in this world?
-02
Greedy people, always "dissatisfied" with their partners
No matter what you do, what you give, what effort you make for your feelings, the other person is not satisfied.
If you do a good job, he won't give you praise; if you don't do well, he will mock you, belittle you, and question you.
The words they often hang on their lips are:
"You're really useless, you've messed up such a simple thing."
"How can you be so stupid as to not even do this?"
"I really regret being with you".
Such speech is essentially a kind of "spiritual PUA".
He wanted the moon, and he wanted sixpence.
So you plucked the moon for him and gave him sixpence.
But turning his head, he resented that the moon wasn't bright enough, and that sixpence was too little.
Man's greatest sorrow is that under the guise of love, he satisfies his greed.
If the other person behaves selfishly, egotistically in his feelings, and never considers your feelings, then his feelings for you must not be love.
If he just enjoys it, but is not willing to pay for you; he is arrogant to you, very strict, but never uses the same standards to demand himself.
At this time, the best thing to do is to stay away from him.
The guy who always consumes you, it's simply not worth putting too much emotion into him.
A person's greed is endless.
The greater the ambition, the higher the desire, and the heavier the greed.
Over time, you will not be able to afford his heavy and greedy heart.
-03
Happy people often know how to restrain their desires
Feng Tang has a particularly good poem:
"I don't want the stars in the sky, I want earthly happiness."
It's just that many people don't understand such a simple truth.
True love has always been to put your feet on the ground and feel the truth with your heart.
Occasionally warm, occasionally cold, occasionally immersive, occasionally restless, occasionally romantic.
The form of love is changeable, but what remains unchanged is two sincere hearts.
Only by truly considering each other, learning to think in a different position, and not doing to others what you do not want, can you treat feelings with a more peaceful attitude.
"The water is overflowing, the moon is lacking", in the relationship, the more you ask of your partner, the easier it is to be disappointed in the end.
Similarly, the more ambitious you are, the heavier your greed, and the other party can only get farther and farther away from you.
Truly happy feelings have always been to know how to restrain their desires.
What you want the other person to be like, you have to be that person yourself first.
You want the other person to love you more, be considerate of you, and be good to you; then, you should be good to him and pay for him.
Where in the world is there unreasonably loving?
Greed is too heavy, and eventually it will be eaten by greed.
Lowering expectations, maintaining peace, and having good intentions is the way to get better and better.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever met a "greedy" person?
(Article with picture source network)