-01-
In "Later Us", ten years later, reunited again, Lin Jianqing asked Fang Xiaoxiao:
"If you hadn't gone at the time, if I had enough money, if we had lived in a house with a big couch, if we had married regardless of it, wouldn't we have been different later?"
Unfortunately, there is no if in life, I can't go back to the past, and no matter how much I think about it, it is just the past.
How much love, seemingly joyful, but in the end it all returns to bleakness;
How much affection, it seems indistinguishable, but in the end it all ends up in dismal.
Only because happiness is originally a small thing, but two people together, if they do not work together to connect small things, then life is like when it rains on a cloudy day, the roof is broken, and it becomes a tragic story.
Love needs to be maintained, but unfortunately too many people, after the freshness of love, begin to treat the lovers around them with a cautious gaze, so are men, so are women.
Therefore, how much vows were made, how ridiculous it would be to recall it later.
But, if you ask, if you can do it all over again, would you still be willing? Believe it, most men will answer, willingly.
And most women, they will answer: I wish I had never met him.
-02-
When two people interact, men and women have different understandings of love.
It's like, you ask a man, after having a girlfriend, meet someone who is more excited, how will you choose?
It is likely that he will say that he will choose a girlfriend, but he will still silently expect that this woman will show favor to him, and even if this woman is very good to him and the conditions are better than his girlfriend, he will have the urge to break up with his girlfriend.
Only because once a man has passed the novelty of women, the "conquest" psychology in his nature will be foolish.
Women are just the opposite, in the face of men's pursuit, she will be very evasive at first, but after she will really fall in love, she will fall deeper and deeper, and more and more regard this man as the rest of her life.
Therefore, most women, her attitude towards love is that even if this man is very poor, ugly, and very unbearable, as long as she is in love, as long as this man "does not leave", she must "not give up", even if this man cheats, she is likely to wait for this man to be able to "get lost".
But, if, if she really feels that the man "doesn't love her" and feels that he is "indifferent" to himself, and then two people fall into endless torture with each other, doubt each other, and complain to each other, her love for you is likely to be because of a small thing, like a straw crushing a camel, she will choose to turn around and leave you.
Because, tired, so, do not want to stick to it anymore.
Therefore, when a woman has the feeling of "tired", even if she is still around you in the moment, her heart will no longer be in you.
If a man pursues "freshness", he will definitely make the love of two people "waver"
Remember, when I was a child, I watched a movie "There is a Happy Affair in the Family", in which there were three brothers, the boss had a successful career, married a wife, played by Wu Junru, a little deliberately ugly, dressed up is not too exquisite, but it is a good daughter-in-law in the Chinese tradition, filial piety, to the uncle's relatives and so on is also very good, but the man still carries his wife, raises a mistress outside, and even in the end, wants to let Xiao San take his place.
Then, the plot is very old-fashioned, the wife found out, angry and left (in fact, did not want to go at all), Xiao San entered the big door, only wanted to be a young grandmother, but found that the life of the rich wife he imagined was completely different, and the man finally found that the wife was good, so he changed his former wrongs and chased his wife back again.
It seems to be a comedy, but also a happy ending.
But in life, this kind of drama is not staged around us.
Men in order to "freshness", non-stop chasing, women in order to keep the marriage, non-stop "playing small three", until one day, women are tired, tired, give up, and then turn to want to seize property, children, so the divorce war started.
However, before this, she did not want to make the man change his mind, wanted him to return to the family, and could be as sweet to her as they were when they first met, and loved her very much.
It can be seen that reality is actually very cruel.
"Freshness", three words, very simple, but will make the love of two people fluctuate, it is difficult to continue.
Women feel "tired" and want to leave
People, in fact, are very stubborn, especially women.
When she finds that men have a hint of indifference to her, she will not be reconciled, she will try her best to save the man, and she will try her best to let this relationship continue.
However, love, like a puzzle, also has some risks.
It is not that you pay, there will be a return, you will make a steady profit, but there is something difficult to determine.
Remember a friend, when breaking up with her first love, just because men always asked her to lose weight, and she was already very thin at the time, but men still said to her after every quarrel: You weigh more than a hundred, we break up.
Later, she finally had enough injuries and wanted to let go.
Perhaps, this is just the tip of the iceberg they got along, more of a downfall, a painful thing she did not say, but, once she did lose weight seriously for that man, hungry and fitness, let everyone see how much she loved him.
Women, always until the end, not willing to leave, not hurt to the extreme, the gentleness of the heart will still be left to that person. Some feelings, just like this, seem to have no part, seem inappropriate, but there are many reasons in it.
In fact, most women, often the more they love, the more they don't want to please anyone, the more they love, the more they want to be comfortable with whom.
So, once she feels tired, she wants to escape, wants to stay away from the person who makes her depressed.
Yes, life has been so difficult, unsatisfactory things happen from time to time, and the person next to you, still from time to time, but also from time to time to find fault, from time to time to find stubble, from time to time "ambiguous", when one day, love tired, love tired, who does not want to leave?
Love, need to be managed, requires two people to fall in love with each other again and again
There is a saying that goes: some people are displaced in marriage, and some people are happy to redeem themselves in marriage.
Perhaps, many people's understanding of love is pots and pans, chai rice oil and salt. But forget that happy love should be two people operating together, rather than after the hot love period, one person takes a hot face to paste another person, or each is indifferent, does not care about each other, and does not care about each other.
Barkin once said in "Home":
If you are in love, if you love with one heart, if you love someone, you have one heart, one life, and you love only that person.
Two people together, men can not always be full of spirit, women can not always be beautiful as flowers, there will always be a lot of wind and rain in life, need two people to carry together, there will be many potholes, need two people to step through together.
The truth of living a life has never been sweet and sweet, but in a place of chicken feathers, looking for sporadic sweetness.
If you love and love, because there is no freshness, turn to find another, then in this life, it is difficult to truly fall in love with a person;
If you love and love, you get tired, get along for a few years, run to each other, and look at each other from then on, then in this life, it may be that even if two people sleep in the same bed, they will be uneasy inside.
Love needs to openly and honestly put out contradictions, face them together, and communicate and solve them; love requires two people to speak their true thoughts in their hearts and connect their hearts that are about to be broken.
Two people together, the wind and snow moon is romantic, but not everyday.
Love needs to be run-in, it is necessary to experience many "difficulties" together, let each other establish the righteousness of taking care of each other, and see the places that are "not accustomed" to each other, so that we can find true love and accompany each other for a long time in the days to come.
-03-
There is an old saying:
Life is thicker than leaves, pots and pans where you don't want to touch.
It can be seen that love needs to be honed in life.
You know, two people can go from meeting to knowing each other, from knowing each other to relying on each other in the sea of people, but in the plain bits, little by little, close to each other's hearts, little by little, the love is precipitated.
So, men, don't forget the woman next to you who accompanies you all the way because of the cheap freshness;
And women, no matter how much they love someone, don't forget to love themselves, and love another person, and don't forget: if his heart is gone, if love is tired, don't pestering hysterically, turn away, give yourself a relief, give others a free.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said a sentence after meeting Yang Dai: Before meeting you, I never thought of getting married, and after meeting you, I never thought of being with other women.
It can be seen that love has never been a temporary good feeling, nor has it been together for a while, but to meet you, and for the rest of your life there will only be you, to meet you, cold, warm, sad and happy, it is all you.
The so-called love is just a sharing of life.
For such a long life, there must always be someone who will accompany you to the rise and fall; there must always be a person who allows you to find the warmth of "family sitting idle, amiable lights"; there must always be a person, when you are old, who can support each other, watch the sunrise in the east, and watch the sunset in the west.
And, this person, you need to start from the moment, "cherish well" for the beginning.
Author, Frank Fox
Figure, network
May you find in my words the ordinary years, a strong affection! Thanks for your attention!