01 In the variety show "Send a Hundred Girls Home", the host Ding Ding Zhang said to papi sauce: "Many men feel that after giving birth to a child, he feels more rushed, what fitness, live well." ”
After hearing the papi sauce, I was surprised, what the hell? Fitness?
"I have a child I want to work out well, neuropathy, take the fitness time out with him is not good, and then wait for your child to sleep, love to do it." 」 Because I don't think it's a natural thing for men to be fathers. Accompany your wife into the delivery room, but this child is not born by you, and your feelings with the child are brought out by you, so I think men have more children, better than anything. ”
I agree with what papi sauce said, men don't make any other excuses, just take more children, and men's feelings with children are mostly cultivated by the company of the day after tomorrow.
But I think papi sauce patronizes saying that men are not natural fathers, and women are not natural mothers. The statement that men are not natural fathers is like saying that men are not born with children is normal. What about women? Are women natural mothers? Women are also slowly adapting to being mothers, and women will not know anything at the beginning, slowly learning ah.
In the matter of taking children, men and women are the same, and everyone learns from scratch.
I remember giving birth to my son on July 19, 2017, and that day I was lying in a delivery bed terrified.
After the artificial membrane rupture, I could only lie on the delivery bed, enduring the pain of contractions, one after another. I don't know why it wasn't painless at that time, so I just lay dry and hurt. I was tearing my heart out in pain, I was screaming, my eyes were full of tears, I felt like I was going to die, I didn't know when the uterus would open, I didn't know when this uncomfortable feeling would pass.
How I wanted to be relieved, it hurt so much, it hurt so much that I didn't have the strength.
I shouted to the nurse next to me, "It's okay to give me a caesarean section, I can't stand it."
The first time I had a baby, the pain of contractions I had never had before struck me from time to time, and I felt like I was in hell, very painful. My husband was next to me, and he couldn't do anything except hold my hand and say to me, "Relax, inhale, exhale." I was so angry, why should I bear all the pain alone?
Contractions are painful enough, but in the second stage of labor, it hurts even more when lying on the delivery bed.
You can't wait to get rid of yourself.
My husband accompanied me into the delivery room, and when I used all my strength to give birth to the child, he excitedly picked up the mobile phone to shoot the child, and then came to me and said, "Wife, you are so good, wife, you are too powerful." I couldn't hear what he said because I had collapsed.
The child was born, and I looked at the little life with a blank face, unable to adapt for a while, this is my child. I saw him so small, I didn't know how to take him, for fear of hurting him. I don't know anything about the first child, it's the mother who tells me how to dress the child, change the diaper, how to bathe the child, how to burp the child, how to coax the child.
Everything about children I learned from scratch, I can learn, not to mention a big man?
In the matter of taking children, women are not natural mothers, even if she gives birth to a child, she is not supposed to take the child, everything is groping and learning bit by bit. I hope that in the matter of bringing children, men will not have any excuses to say that they will not, no, you will not learn? You are an adult, your wife can learn, can you not learn?
02
My eldest was brought up by myself, and I had just given birth to a child for 42 days before my mother returned to her hometown. The day my mother left by train, I couldn't help but cry because I didn't know what to do next. On the way back, my son was stinking, and I hugged him and went home to change with him.
My husband usually throws everything at me in the face of the child, and I am very angry: Why did you throw it at me, I am five years younger than you? I won't ah, you are the child's father, the child is stinking, you will not give the child a change?
At first, my husband would naturally shout at home: Wife, son is stinking.
I yelled at him directly: "Just know that if you call me, won't you change it for your son?" Don't tell me no, you won't, you won't learn, I didn't know it at the beginning, why do I have to get it? You're the dad of the kid, you have to learn everything, don't make excuses for me, a man who is five years older than me, don't you mean it? ”
I yelled at me a lot, and my husband went to change the child's diaper by himself.
I didn't teach him, wouldn't he have changed too? Why did you start calling me in the first place? In the end, he was lazy and wanted to push everything to me.
Besides, I'm not a full-time mom, and I have my own job to be busy with, so what I said to him after my son was born was: "Since you have a child now, you have to be like a father, during the day I can take the baby and write while writing, but you have to come back early in the evening." You have to let me out on weekends, or I'll be mad at home for a long time. ”
For a while, I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone anymore, and I didn't know what to say when I opened my mouth.
Later, I realized this problem and asked my husband to take me out for a walk every weekend. Since I had children, my life has become very busy, except for the baby is work, sleeping three or four hours a day, most of the time is busy. My husband is still OK, as long as he does not work overtime, he will rush home to take the children, sometimes I have to party with friends to watch movies or something, he can also take the baby alone for four or five hours.
Men are not natural fathers, because he does not get pregnant and does not have children, so his relationship with children is mostly cultivated by the efforts of the day after tomorrow. But women are the same, although women will be closer to their children physically, but if women do not pay the day after tomorrow, the children still have no feelings for her.
Therefore, parents want to have a good relationship with their children, both people have to pay, no one is naturally a father or mother, they are all with their children.
03
I was born in July 2017, and I gave birth to a second treasure in January 2021, and my children are complete. After my daughter was born, I had to spend more time taking care of her, so I gave my son more to the child's father. Our family started with two rooms, a family of four squeezed into a bed to sleep, and neither of the children slept well. Later, when my daughter was one year and three months old, we changed houses, and my husband and I slept in separate rooms, one person and one child.
My husband slept in his son's small room with his four-and-a-half-year-old son, and he played with him, told stories to his son, and coaxed him to sleep; and I was responsible for taking care of my one-year-old daughter. Since sleeping apart, we've all been able to sleep soundly. My girlfriend is particularly sticky to me, and my father doesn't want to hold her, but in the end, it is still too little.
The child is like this, whoever takes him more, who he kisses.
My son's relationship with his dad is now better than with me. My husband would take him to buy flowers, to take the bus, and the two of them would go to experience life, to climb mountains, to go on adventures. I still wish the boy had more contact with his dad instead of sticking to me all day. Boys follow their father, which is more conducive to the development of his character.
Our father is still responsible, except for the time at work, the rest are with the children.
But he still didn't have much to accompany me, because I was at home at work and could spend time with my children when I was done.
I write so much, I want to remind men is: don't go to any excuse that you will not take children, women are not born to be, when the mother is also learned by yourself, trouble please be serious and responsible, pay more for the child. If you want your child to have a good relationship with you, you have to ask yourself if you are a qualified father.
Why in our generation, many people do not have a very good relationship with their fathers, in addition to the father's poor expression, there is also the fact that the father gives too little companionship to the child. If the child has any problems, he is looking for his mother to solve, can the relationship with the mother be bad?
Feelings are all out of place, and so are family feelings, especially between parents and children.
Papi sauce has a saying that is quite right, don't be so much useless, don't just talk about it all day, have the ability to take more children. Don't ask your mother and wife for everything, as an adult, you can also bring your children well. You are not a natural father, women are not natural mothers, everyone is the first time to be a person, the first time to learn to take children, serious and responsible, okay?
Today's topic: Do you think women are natural mothers? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.