Author | Big Yu
Some time ago, papi sauce was sent to the hot search.
The reason is that in the "Send a Hundred Girls Home" program, the host Ding Ding Zhang and Papi Sauce said in a chat that many men will think of fitness and think of living well after becoming fathers.
This statement made Papi Sauce confused after listening to it, and then couldn't help but laugh out loud.
She said: "It is more important for fathers to have more children than anything else. ”
This sentence made many mothers clap their hands in the comment area.
I have to say that after many men become fathers, they really rarely think about participating in the matter of taking children.
Because in people's conventional cognition, the mother is always more suitable for taking care of the child.
As everyone knows, fathers also have the biological instinct to take care of their children.
Taking care of children is also a father's instinct
In the BBC's high-scoring documentary "The Biological Significance of Fathers", child psychologist Laverne Antrobus explored the role of father from a biological point of view.
Through a series of studies, they discovered a magical secret:
The relationship between father and child is established before the child is born.
When the wife is pregnant, there are not only the wife but also the father-to-be who has a pregnancy reaction.
Dr Brennan interviewed 288 fathers-to-be, 55 percent of whom said:
When the wife is pregnant, they will also have "morning sickness" reactions such as nausea and vomiting, and at the same time have symptoms such as dizziness, fatigue, and taste changes.
There are also findings that:
When a new dad holds the child, his lactation stimulation increases by 20%. And the iconic male hormone, testosterone, will also gradually decrease.
The hormonal changes in dads are meant to help them do a good job of raising their children.
To prove this fact, the researchers brought in a new dad to do the experiment.
They asked Dad to hold the doll and observe Dad's behavior.
It turned out that during this process, the father would naturally hold the child close to his body.
To test dads' tolerance for babies crying, researchers set up recordings of babies crying at the scene.
Ordinary people will be irritable when they hear the crying of the little baby, but this father gently pats the baby doll's body to comfort the baby.
The body's reactions and unconscious movements all prove that dads have a "talent" in raising children:
When taking care of children, dads instinctively take good care of children.
Dads participate in taking the baby, and the children are better
Remember what the psychologist Jung said:
"The mother is a character who can give her child delicate tenderness and careful protection. The 'male strength' such as the father's unique courage and majesty will give the child a different kind of support and become an indispensable nutrient in the child's process of going to the world. ”
On the road to parenting, dad is also an irreplaceable existence.
Dads are brave enough to explore, and kids are braver
Documentary filmmaker Lao Ji, when his son Simba was very young, took advantage of his work to take him on adventures.
Once, they went to the Extreme Zipline, and afterwards Simba said he was a little scared.
He told his son: "Bravery is not not to be afraid, but to insist on doing it after being afraid." ”
Under his father's education and influence, Simba's heart also became stronger.
In the hearts of many children, Dad is Superman, escorting them on their way to growth.
With their fathers present, they can walk towards bravery step by step in the midst of hardships and obstacles.
Dads are good at innovation, and children are smarter
Yale University spent 12 years tracking a group of children and found:
Children who are raised by men have higher IQs and tend to get better grades in school.
This is because when dads take their children, they often "break the routine".
Just like a father in Zhengzhou, he made more than 100 handmade toys for his daughter.
In the process of making toys, children will also participate in the production, and finally the children not only improve their concentration, but also improve their creativity a lot.
Therefore, the father's completely different way of education can bring a different way of thinking to the child.
Dad is calm and objective, and children are stronger
Netizen Xiao He encountered an elevator failure in the mall when he was in elementary school.
Everyone panicked, and she was so frightened by these movements that she cried.
The usually serious father picked her up and said calmly:
"Don't be afraid, it's just that the elevator is malfunctioning."
This matter was only a small thing in her life, but her father's calm appearance was deeply imprinted in her mind, so that she learned not to panic and calm down.
That's Dad's influence.
Dad loves sports and kids are healthier
Ron Eaker, author of the American book Evidence of Obesity in Your Family, points out:
Only when parents (especially dads) set a good example through exercise and accompany their children to physical exercise, children's perception of exercise will be truly affected.
Therefore, fathers who love sports can drive their children to exercise and enhance their children's physique.
Dad with baby, can not do without the encouragement of mother
There are many benefits for fathers to bring their children, there is no doubt about it.
But how to get dads to actively participate in bringing up children is a headache for many mothers.
These 3 methods are worth learning and reference for mothers:
Respect dad's parenting style and give enough autonomy
CCTV host Li Xiaomeng once hosted the program "Hello Daddy".
At first, she went to criticize "widowed parenting", but through interviews, she found the difficulties of fathers.
"These fathers are thinking, now moms are experts, we don't have a say, I'm wrong to do anything," she said.
Mom does have too much say in this field. ”
Once the control of parenting is firmly grasped by the mother, the father will withdraw from the parenting circle.
In the end, the mother can only take on the task of parenting alone.
But if the mother can let go of the father's chance, he can let the father take a step forward, and slowly, he can actively participate in parenting.
More affirmation, less criticism
Someone asked: How can I make my husband understand that father is an indispensable part of parenting?
There was a dad who shared one thing.
When the family went out to play, his daughter's hair was scattered and his wife was not around, so he clumsily helped his daughter tie her hair.
It was ugly.
But his wife took a picture of him tying his daughter's hair and sent it to the circle of friends to show off.
His wife praised him as a good husband, and his friends praised him as a good father.
Driven by "vanity", he began to take the initiative to contract many things with children.
Psychologist William James said:
"The deeper need of human nature is the desire to be appreciated and praised."
Everyone wants to hear appreciation from others, and Dad is no exception.
Give Dad clear, specific instructions
When my girlfriend first became a mother, she often complained to me that her husband couldn't do anything well.
For example, she has something to leave for a while and let her husband watch the children.
As a result, the husband really only watched the child, neither feeding the child to drink milk nor changing the child's diaper.
She angrily accused her husband, who said with a slight grievance:
"You only said looking at the child, you didn't say anything else."
She thought her husband just didn't want to have children. Gradually, he found that he was really not proficient in "how to take proper care of children".
So every time she asked her husband to take the children, she told him directly what to do and how to do it.
As a mother, when letting the father bring the baby, we may as well disassemble the requirements more carefully and clearly.
Little by little, "cultivate" the proficiency of the father with the child, and the father will also give a good answer sheet.
Economist Xue Zhaofeng once said: "Marriage is to run a business, that is, to sign a contract." ”
Raising children is the biggest and most important contract in running a business.
Only by cooperating with each other can we achieve a win-win situation.
Click "like" it, I hope that fathers can participate in the matter of taking their children more, let the mother relax a little, and make the child's childhood more complete.
I also hope that mothers believe in dad's parenting instincts and have a little more patience and encouragement for clumsy dads.
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Author: Dayu, loyal to himself, loyal to life. The thing you are most willing to do is where your true talent lies. Some of the pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.