There are many successful people in this world who have problems with their families, but most of them have problems in their hearts when they grow up, and there will be some aspects of personality defects, and it is difficult for outsiders to understand.
Success refers to the kind of child who is satisfied with his or her profession, has a sense of accomplishment, has a healthy intimate relationship, and is a child who has good emotional intelligence and personality and has no psychological defects.
J.D. Vance's "Hillbilly Elegy" ("Hillbilly Elegy" is set against the backdrop of a white Working-class family in the United States and chronicles the author's own life experience as a lawyer from a poor and deformed family of origin in the countryside. Although the national conditions are not the same, the laws and essence behind them may provide ideas for the subject.
The book was included in Bill Gates' private book list and was rated as "a great book" by him, and recommended for everyone to read.
The author's personal life experience is mainly to grow up with a single mother and grandparents, and his father disappeared into most of his life. Her mother was unable to control her emotions, became addicted to drugs, and often changed boyfriends, moved houses, and lost her job. The author experienced the ACE experience, the "unfortunate childhood experience", which is roughly the author's life experience.
Learn to grow in your own soul
1. Many people who study psychology are caused by family problems of origin.
They were very badly injured, and they always wanted to find a way out, constantly exploring various ways to help themselves out. So many of the courses that connect the original family and reminisce about the past have many adults crying bitterly. The path of exploring the heart is long and requires you to keep going.
2. If you know that your system is problematic, reinstall the new system.
You can contact some new friends and teachers, and learn some more correct worldviews, outlooks on life, and values from others. Because your three views will guide your actions and affect your life, when you correct the three views, you can have a different life.
3. The process of reinventing oneself is painful, but enjoyable.
A person who completely denies his previous things, like breaking a clay doll, the process will be very painful, and you will find that what you previously thought was right is not right. But you know, after mud, kneading, drying, you are a different image.
So every day hopefully waiting for tomorrow to come. When you find that you can already think about problems with the Avenue, contribute to society, and make the world a better place, you succeed.
The reason why children who are so-called "born in a deformed original family" cannot succeed stem from the wrong perception of social reality and their own potential.
Changing these perceptions is a long and painful process that requires the subject's determination to transcend limitations, as well as execution, external assistance, and some opportunities.
Life is a long practice, and some people never realize this, so they give up on themselves early and constantly accumulate "greed, anger, delusion, and slow doubt."
But in reality, "Killing you will make you stronger," and those who have actually experienced setbacks and overcome them will proudly say, "Let the storm be more intense."
As the saying goes, "Good medicine is good for the sick, and good advice is good for the ear." ”
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[Author of this article]: Secretary Zhang of Orangutan Village
[Original Statement]: Some of the content of the article is excerpted from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to correct and delete.
[Column Introduction]:
"Orangutan Ball Has Something to Say" is a parent-child education column of the new media channel under "Orangutan Ball Village". We aim to help more families improve their parent-child relationship and let the flowers of the motherland have a good childhood.
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