Some time ago, I went to see a friend and learned that he spent more than 100,000 yuan in the last relationship, but the girl did not want to get married and did not live together.
In the process of getting along, the two also know very little about each other's basic information.
He felt that he had been wronged and spent the money in vain.
When I asked the girl what she looked like, he said that he was small and decent, never took him out to play, and the sisterhood of the girls was encouraging them to spend more money on men.
When he was in financial difficulty and the store could not be cashed out, his girlfriend took him to buy tens of thousands of gold.
He had been dating for a year, had never been to a girl's house, and hadn't looked at each other's phones.
From my friend's point of view, this girl is very mysterious and makes him itchy.
Every time he complains that the girl is not open enough and can't stand to say that he broke up, as long as his girlfriend turns back to him, he will compromise, and his heart really can't put it down.
Obviously, the girl did not think that the two people had a future, and may look at my friend as a handsome guy, as a short-term meal ticket.
I couldn't help but sigh: sure enough, one thing dropped one thing, and I thought he was also an arrogant handsome guy, and he actually planted his head.
I have planted this kind of heel, saying that I am in love, but I know nothing about the other party's information.
Even if he inquired about his information at that time, he would say it in a serious way, but in the end, the verification was all lies.
It hadn't been long since I met, and it was not good for him to show all kinds of evidence, for fear of ruining the situation.
Not old enough, will not go roundabout to seek verification, the deceived people are often not as shrewd as the liar.
They are hidden, and even their acting skills are good, not living together for a while, it is really difficult to distinguish.
Now emotional scammers are rampant, either concealing marital information or concealing their shortcomings, and even some people wait until after marriage to find out that they have been deceived.
Because so many of these things have happened, the vigilance of both men and women is now very high.
But even if you take precautions, routines and superimposed feelings bombard a person's heart, you will still fall in love with the person you should love.
Being in a relationship is a great opportunity to get to know someone, and sometimes intuition doesn't lie, and it's really important to stay sober and in love.
The more information a person hides, the more curious they become.
And he will create the illusion that he is not looking at you at all, and the more insecure you are, the more you want to know him.
We tend to be drawn to this mystery and think we love him too.
This is a routine in the emotional game, and it is also their intention to deceive.
When encountering such a love, it is better to take a detour, otherwise it is a consumption of yourself.
In love, if two people are willing to get married, it is really important to have the real information about each other.
01
Character and family lineage
Understanding is mutual, the most important of which is the basic information.
A person's family history can be found, but the character needs a lot of contact to see.
Because when in love, in order to win the other party's favor, people will always beautify themselves between words and deeds at the beginning.
We attach great importance to the first impression, so what is presented is the side that we want to show to the other party.
I came into contact with a boy who looked very gentlemanly, and he was particularly fond of small animals, and said that he often did public welfare and fed stray cats and dogs.
Speaking of some social news, he is also jealous and hateful, he said that he sympathizes with the weak, respects women, and treats the elderly well.
In life, he is very good at taking care of people, and I felt that this person was really good in other places except for his height.
However, after six months of contact, I found that he would steal things, like to take advantage of small profits, and go out to eat and buy things together.
Another fatal drawback is that it is full of debt, which seems to him to be no big problem, at best it is thick-skinned.
But in my opinion, this is a problem with character, and other advantages cannot be made up.
He indulges himself in small interests, so what will happen to him in the relationship between two people?
He may also act when he likes a person, and if he doesn't like it, he will stand against his partner and compete with the other party for interests.
Such a person is also overdrawing his own credit, and others will be frightened to stay away when they see these behaviors.
So, when I found out about his character defects, I left decisively, but it was still half a year wasted.
At first we were not acquainted, and he would be somewhat jealous of my opinion of him, but then he completely ignored it and did not think that there was a problem with what he was doing.
From this point of view, how a person's true nature is, can not be pretended for too long, half a year, at most a year can know what kind of person he is.
If you find something wrong, don't waste time, and stop loss in time is the most important.
02
Marital status
When you fall in love with a person, the other party's marital status must be known, and if necessary, you can ask for evidence on the surface.
As long as you are really single, everyone will have a clear conscience.
But if he feels that you don't trust him because of this, there's a problem, and normal single people don't get angry that their partner has allowed themselves to prove single.
Now there are too many neptunes who step on multiple boats and cheat on their marital status, and there are even shops on Taobao that specialize in fake divorce certificates.
I've seen similar stories and found out that divorce papers can also be fake.
Netizen Ms. Lin posted that after three years of falling in love with a divorced man, she was ready to get married only to find that the man did not divorce, but still lived with his wife in the name of business trips.
When Ms. Lin was in love, when she asked her boyfriend to take out a divorce certificate, it seemed that the procedures were complete, but she really did not expect that these materials could be falsified.
When men are at home, they are also honest and considerate to her, and they rush home every day after work, looking like a good man.
Especially during the hot love period, every day is tired and crooked together, and it doesn't look like a state of having a wife at all.
Marital status can be deceived, since it is useless to see the divorce certificate, then look at the local government service project in Alipay, which can find a person's marital status.
And a person's state of love, it is easier to cheat.
At this point, I sometimes trust women's intuition more because there is something wrong with the partner that only I can sense.
It is not an exaggeration to say that women in love are Sherlock Holmes who solve cases.
Whether a person has devoted himself to it, whether he is honest with each other, planning a good future for two people, you can feel in the details, and whether this person has a future.
Most of the cases of being deceived are because one of them is unwilling to wake up, afraid of his own doubts, nitpicking to make the other party unhappy, afraid of losing him.
However, truth is more important than feelings, and the feelings built by lies are only castles in the air, and once the truth is revealed, the relationship collapses.
03
Physical condition
The last one is the physical condition, some diseases are latent states, the person wants to keep silent, others can not know.
There are often such fraudulent marriage situations, which are more selfish practices.
After two people fall in love, if there is a hidden disease, they still have to go to the hearing first, and they can also go to a check together after being determined.
The shortcomings of physical condition are a big thing for marriage and love.
As the sick party, you should think that even if you successfully cheat on your partner, the other party will one day know the truth, which will bury a hidden danger in the relationship.
If it is only a state of love, in fact, I am still more taboo about the current STD, some people are just in the incubation period of the disease, may not know it.
So I still think self-love is important, and it's not worth it to take risks for the sake of a momentary desire.
My cousin once went on a blind date, he had epilepsy without telling him, and finally married to find out that he had the disease.
Although everything is normal when there is no seizure, my cousin is also scared half to death after the seizure.
And the man's health is not very good, the cousin has not been pregnant, but she wants to have children.
In the end, there was no way to pull the husband to check together, and sure enough, it was also the husband's problem.
At this time, she blamed her parents for being too hasty and should spend more time together.
After the parents here know the situation, they go to the relatives' house to complain about cheating on marriage, losing money, dissolving the marriage relationship, and finally chicken feathers.
Many people think that with love, partners should support each other when they are sick, but if they think about each other, shouldn't they think about not dragging others down?
If the illness is made public, the two people have a good relationship and express their willingness to bear it together and take care of each other, which is the right process.
Instead of cheating first and then selling miserably, the nature is different.
We can get to the point of getting married, considering that everything is realistic, and if anything is hidden, it is possible to lay a thorn in the coffin for two people.
For those who deliberately conceal all kinds of information and play with feelings, once they find that something is wrong, they must think rationally and do not be carried away by love, because there are two lies.
In a normal relationship, honesty is essential, and only by showing it truthfully can there be real emotional rewards.
Author | Fei Yu A person who likes to explore himself, with growth as the goal, experience as the road, sincerity as the heart, and live a life of maximum freedom.