01
A while ago, there was a very hot little video on the Internet, which was a leftover girl and a small fresh meat blind date.
Little Fresh Meat said: "You are already 28 years old, what man does not want to marry a smaller, better-looking, young and beautiful man than himself?" ”
The implication is that the disgusted girl is too old.
The leftover woman was not in a hurry, and threatened to send a small fresh meat Beijing a suite plus a car.
The boy was surprised and delighted, and the leftover woman was very satisfied: "Then we will talk back, am I still old?" The guy hurriedly said that he was not old.
There are indeed a considerable number of elderly leftover women in life, with many years of work experience, have accumulated a lot of wealth for themselves, and they can also achieve personal financial freedom. Even materially, it is much higher than men of the same age or of the opposite sex than their own young age.
They do have the capital to show off, and they also have the right to choose the most suitable marriage partner for themselves and enter into marriage hand in hand.
But if women blindly bring this sense of superiority into marriage and suppress men's self-esteem everywhere, how far can such a marriage go?
Bei Bei (pseudonym) is because her conditions are better than her husband, showing off her sense of superiority everywhere in marriage, and ruining her happiness.
02
Bei Bei is an older leftover woman, who was 35 years old when she married her husband Huang Jie.
Age aside, her conditions do seem to be better than her husband's:
Although She was 35 years old, she was well-maintained and looked like she was in her early thirties; her husband, who looked average, looked slightly older, though four years younger than her.
Bei Bei is a delicate office worker, living in a tone, how much to earn and how much to spend; in contrast, her husband's salary will be worse, but she usually likes to save money and will not pay too much attention to fancy things.
The personalities of the two are also different. Bei Bei is cheerful and fun, likes to attend all kinds of party parties, and knows a lot of friends; her husband only wants to stay at home and do it by hand, and enjoy the time alone quietly.
This is also an important reason why Bei Bei chose to marry him: honest, do not spend money indiscriminately, and have no bad habits.
If it weren't for the fact that people of the same age around her were getting married and having children one after another, and I was also a little anxious to marry, Bei Bei would never have been able to look at a man like her husband.
She felt that she was better than her husband by more than a star and a half.
But we all know that as an adult, since you have decided what kind of person you want to marry with, you must learn to let go of your inner sense of superiority, respect the feelings of your other half in your daily life, and get along with each other equally. If you always rely on your own advantages and suppress the other half everywhere, most of these marriages will not last long.
It's just a pity that Bei Bei understood too late.
Because he is higher than his husband in terms of appearance conditions and economic conditions. On weekdays, Bei Bei has a strong sense of superiority, and feels that marrying her husband is completely their old Huang family burning high incense, which is a kind of charity to him.
So in this relationship, Bei Bei has always been in a dominant position. She even felt that her husband's family status was not as important as her pet dog's prosperity.
Even Bei Bei's parents did not look at Huang Jie well, always treating him as a door-to-door son-in-law, instructing him to do this and instructing him to do that. A little sloppiness is a high-spirited scolding: "As a big man, you won't make money, even if you don't make money, this little thing can't be done well, and I don't know what Bei Bei looks at you." ”
Although the husband has an introverted personality, he is open-minded and open-minded to the sarcasm of Bei Bei and his parents-in-law: "People are indeed better looking than me, and they are better than me to make money. ”
Every time he saw his brothers complaining for him, he always told others this and comforted himself. I hope that after the so-called newlywed run-in period, the wife can live with herself steadily.
Then it was his attitude of not caring that further encouraged the arrogance of his wife and her mother's family, always saying in front of outsiders on any occasion that Huang Jie was useless and did not earn as much as a woman. Sometimes, it will also be accompanied by Huang Jie's parents.
Huang Jie endured all of this, and one endure was two years. It wasn't until he brought up the matter of having children that their marriage broke down completely.
On that day, my wife had just finished a project and paid a lot of bonuses. As soon as she got home, she happily showed off her newly arrived bonus money in front of Huang Jie.
Huang Jie thought about taking advantage of her good mood and mentioned the matter of having a child again. After all, if you drag it out any longer, Bei Bei's age will be really too big.
But Bei Bei still refused as usual without thinking about it, and said, "With your little salary, who can you afford?" You still want me to give birth to you, but there are no doors. ”
In the past two years of marriage, Huang Jie has long been accustomed to his wife's harsh and mean way of speaking. Therefore, he still patiently weighed the pros and cons of having a child with his wife at this time, hoping that she would seriously consider it.
Who knew that his wife had not waited for him to finish speaking, so she interrupted him impatiently: "No birth, no birth, take advantage of my good mood today, don't mention this matter again." ”
Huang Jie is a very traditional man, and not having children is not only a matter that his parents can't pass, he can't accept it himself. He recalled the two years of marriage with his wife, and suddenly felt that such a marriage was nothing to be nostalgic about.
So he laughed and said to his wife, "While you are in a good mood today, let's go get divorced." ”
Bei Bei still didn't take it seriously: "You didn't take the wrong medicine, did you?" How did you talk to me? Today is not April Fool's Day. ”
It wasn't until she saw her husband's determined face that she completely panicked. But she still did not allow herself to lose her pride, and despite regret, she eventually agreed to divorce.
03
In life, there are many marriages like BeiBei couples who have a strong sense of superiority and lead to emotional breakdown. And through their stories, they also tell us the following two truths.
One: Mutual respect is the cornerstone of marriage.
Some people say that respecting and understanding each other's love is more worth cherishing than holding each other in the palm of your hand on a whim.
Mutual respect between husband and wife is the cornerstone of marriage.
If you want to have a happy family and a happy marriage, husband and wife must learn to stand in the position of the other party to look at the problem, and neither party can always look high and domineering.
Just as Bebe finally refused to have children, it was not the root cause of the breakdown of the marriage, but only the last straw that crushed the marriage.
What really makes the husband decide to give up this relationship is the lack of respect for a long time, and even refuses to have children without forgetting to belittle the husband's lack of money and poor ability.
Women occasionally flirt and show superiority in marriage, and these are no problems.
But if you blindly suppress the other party's self-esteem to show your own pitiful advantages, it will only greatly reduce the happiness of the other half of the marriage, and eventually lead to the failure of the marriage.
Two couples live a life, just like a pair of chopsticks, one long and one short is not OK.
Only one of them can actively lower its posture and weaken the end that grows out, so that the chopsticks can firmly clamp happiness.
Second: Superiority is a chronic poison in marriage.
In life, we often find such a phenomenon:
Many girls with slightly better conditions will always bring an inexplicable sense of superiority in their marriage after "low marriage".
They not only require men to always remember their "next marriage" grace, but also require men to let her and accommodate her in everything in marriage to show their concern for her.
What's more, she will suppress men everywhere like Bei Bei, and humiliate her husband's self-esteem regardless of time or occasion. It's as if the more you lose face to your husband, the more you can show how great you are.
However, the sense of superiority is like a chronic poison in marriage, hurting people invisibly. By the time it was discovered, the marriage was terminally ill with cancer.
Because no one can live a lifetime without self-respect.
Men can tolerate some of your little tempers out of love and generosity. But the rabbit is anxious to bite people, let alone people?
Remember, the foundation of a long-lasting marriage is equality and respect.
Since you have chosen to marry a man whose conditions are inferior to your own, you must choose to respect, understand, and tolerate each other.
The so-called "if you are poor, you should be looked down upon, you should curb your temper" will only accelerate the collapse of your marriage.
The mouth is used for eating, not for mocking one's own man. Don't let your marriage be ruined by the speed of the tongue.
Text/No Pen