Hello everyone, I'm Seven Joy Mom~
I heard colleagues complaining in the office about his 2 children, the eldest is that his daughter has gone to primary school, and the second is that his son has just gone to kindergarten.
Colleagues said that the personalities of the two children are really very different, and the boss's personality is too cheerful and lively, and he can talk to anyone.
But the daughter's personality is also a headache, do things with opinions, do not put the parents' teachings in the eyes at all, the teacher is in the lectern class, she keeps doing small actions below, writing a homework grinding and chirping, every time the colleague is angry half dead.
Although the second eldest is a boy, he has a gentle personality, and in today's terms, he is a warm man, and his speech is always warmer and heart-wrenching.
The age difference between the two children is a few years, but usually at home they will still fight because of the scramble for toys, and colleagues will not pay attention for a while, and the two children can stage a century war.
The sister does not let the younger brother, the younger brother also competes with the sister, and the colleague said that this kind of picture can be staged more than a dozen times a day in his family, which is simply a headache.
Children are playful and noisy age, but from the tone of each talk of colleagues, he is more inclined to the second, because in the eyes of colleagues, although the second is young, it seems that the personality is more understanding of parents, and the emotional intelligence of speaking is also very high.
Every time colleagues evaluate the boss, they will say that the boss's personality is too lively, and even doubt whether the child is ADHD, and there is no well-behaved appearance of a girl.
Speaking of which, you can recall that if you have 2 or more children in your family, can you not be able to level a bowl of water at any time?
Do you like a child more in your heart? What would you do at this time?
It is important for a two-child family to have a bowl of water flat
Many children in the second-child family will have this feeling, the mother seems to prefer the younger brother (sister), why does the mother have such strict requirements for me, but not to the younger brothers and sisters?
In the heart of the boss, I always feel that the parents will prefer the second brother, because the boss can feel these subtle differences from the parents' words and demeanor.
If parents do have this practice and treat children differently, then the neglected child must have a sense of imbalance and grievance in his heart, which will make the child not get enough security from the parents, let the child can not establish an intimate relationship, the child will also have a sense of resentment towards the parents and even more jealousy and hate for the favored child.
On the contrary, children who are always loved by their parents are prone to arrogant and arrogant personality characteristics, children will follow the gourd, treat another child in the way of their parents, the whole family relationship will form a strange circle, and the two children will also form a situation of intolerable fire and water.
On the one hand, there is no attention and care, on the other hand, it is pampered and willful, the tension between children will seriously affect their personal growth, and the same behavior of parents will bring completely different psychological feelings to children.
Therefore, if you want both children to grow up healthily, it is really important for parents to have a bowl of water!
A bowl of water to flat mother to pay attention to 2 points
Treat it equally, without the disadvantages of the boss to compare the advantages of the second
Each child will be born with a different temperament, some children may be more introverted and calm, some children may be just the opposite of extroverted and lively, some children are versatile and can express themselves, and some children may like to be more quiet and low-key.
The same thing 2 children with different personalities will even react and behave in complete opposite ways.
In the eyes of parents, there must be a more inclined party (for example, parents themselves are more extroverted, so they prefer extroverted children), but from the perspective of parenting, parents should treat them with equal eyes, do not discriminate, and do not cause harm to their children.
The common mistake made by parents here is to compare the child's advantage with the disadvantage of another child, which is completely undesirable and does not bring good educational results.
When I was a child, my neighbor had such a situation, the family of 2 children (an older brother and a sister), the mother has always wanted a daughter, since the birth of the daughter let the mother get her wish, so the daughter is particularly fond of.
The mother always compares the advantages of the younger sister with the shortcomings of the brother (such as the sister's academic performance is very good and the brother's academic performance is relatively weak), the brother becomes more and more unconfident over time, and every time the mother speaks, even if it is not aimed at the brother, the brother will feel that the mother is alluding to himself.
Every child has its own strengths and weaknesses, there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same, and there are no two children who are exactly the same.
Parents should be good at finding the unique shining points in their children, understanding the children's completely different psychological feelings, giving their children strong support and help, so that every child can find their own direction and grow better.
Give different kids what they need most, rather than giving different kids exactly the same thing
Parents may say that I am not eccentric at all, I am a bowl of water flat, every time I buy something I give two people a share, I have done a good job.
Wrong, if parents are just blindly pursuing superficial fairness, then you are not doing enough.
Because what you give is not necessarily what both children want, parents have to learn to give different children what they need most, not to give 2 children exactly the same thing.
The eldest likes toy cars, the second likes to build blocks, the 2 people have completely different interests, and parents should also be able to treat them differently.
Parents should be accompanied and given with warm kindness and love every time, children are the smartest people, they can feel your treatment and companionship from your details.
There must be a lot of joy in a two-child family or a multi-child family, because children will bring us endless fun. Whether you prefer the eldest or the second, you want your parents to be able to level the bowl of water, after all, every child is a unique angel baby.
Will you flatten a bowl of water? Or have you ever been treated differently by your parents? Leave a message in the comments section to say it!
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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