Why do some children turn a deaf ear to their parents' words, and some children become "rebellious" teenagers when they reach adolescence? Why are some children timid and cowardly, and some children are short-tempered? Perhaps, these are all related to the emotions of the parents! What are the adverse effects of parents' emotional instability and frequent tantrums on their children?
Even gifted children, if they encounter wrong education, are often powerless to resist, depressed or depraved, which is almost the path they must take. Many parents always like to lose their temper when getting along with their children, and are accustomed to blaming each tantrum on the child's disobedience, or the child's behavior is too bad, thinking that their tantrums are a last resort, in order to educate the child.
In fact, temper not only has no educational function, it is indeed anti-educational, the greater the temper, the worse the educational effect. Bad temper is not only like a hammer that swings wildly, destroying the next moment, and even causing unnecessary tragedies in life, but also like a diffuse poisonous gas, forming far-reaching and widespread damage.
Parents lose their temper with three points, which will cause seven points of damage to their children. The consequences of a bad temper can be described as follows: mild consequences: children rebellious, depressed, suspicious. Moderate consequences: Children are grumpy, complaining, and harsh in adulthood. Severe consequences: major depressive disorder, sexual perversion, neuropathy.
Bad temper is the sworn enemy of education and the trap of life. The consequences of bad temper are also difficult to make up, in order for children to have a healthy growth atmosphere, parents have more self-restraint, no temper chest cavity, in order to fill with positive energy of education!
Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper
One day, his father gave him a large bag of nails and demanded that he must use a hammer to nail a nail in the fence of the backyard with every tantrum. On the first day, the little boy nailed a total of 37 nails to the fence. After a few weeks, the little boy learned to control his anger, and the number of nails nailed to the fence every day gradually decreased. He told his father about his transformation. His father also advised, "If you can hold out all day without losing your temper, pull a nail out of the fence." ”
After some time, the little boy finally pulled out all the nails on the fence. The father took his hand and came to the fence and said, "Son, you are doing a good job. But, you look at those nails that left so many small holes in the fence, the fence will never be what it was again. When you throw a tantrum at someone, your words are like these little holes that leave wounds in people's hearts. You do this like stabbing someone in the body with a knife and pulling it out again.
No matter how many times you say sorry, that wound will always be there. In fact, the verbal harm to people is no different from the physical harm to people. It's the story of a father who teaches his children not to lose their temper. The same applies to parents. In life, it is more common for parents to lose their temper. And parents always throw tantrums at their children, which will not only make children develop bad habits of throwing tantrums, but also make children worse and worse, and more contrary to parents' expectations.
Therefore, parents should try to control their emotions and not always discipline their children with bad tempers. Parents' education of their children lies first and foremost in teaching by example! From the perspective of Chinese medicine, parents often lose their temper with their children, which will damage the child's spirituality, make the child become more stupid, and easily cause the child to suffer from various diseases such as headaches. Because the anger of parents when they lose their temper with their children will be converted into anger, which directly affects and controls the child's mood, and the child's long-term sullenness and depression will lead to frequent head diseases.
It's like a parent adding a tightening spell to a child's head, adding a tightening spell once they get angry. With the accumulation of time, more and more tightening spells, the child's body is becoming more and more weak. And resentment hurts the spleen; hates the heart; annoys the lungs; hurts the liver; annoys the kidneys. Parents often lose their temper and also affect the liver, which harms both the child and themselves. This is all the consequence of managing the child with temper.
"Do not do to others what you do not want" Parents must first correct themselves, change their personality, and you will change your children. "Children and grandchildren don't care, all rely on morality and sexiness" This is a profound truth, to change our temper and temperament of anger and anger. For children, we should adopt the "spontaneous" education method, the rate is the commander, guide the child's temperament to the good side, often find the child's advantages to affirm the child's shining place, and encourage the child more.
While praising, persuade and guide children to correct bad habits and hobbies. Help your child open the way to a wonderful treasure. Parents often lose their temper, what harm will they bring to their children?
1, parents often lose their temper, children will become unconditionally "obedient" because of fear, which may lead to doing things in the future without their own opinions, and even become weak and lose themselves.
2, parents often lose their temper, resulting in frequent fright of the child, will make him lose his sense of security. In such an environment for a long time, self-confidence will be lost, and the personality may become isolated, closed, and unwilling to communicate.
3, children are good at learning from the model, if there are often quarrels in the family, the child's personality will become hot, willful, impulsive, and even easy to argue with others.
In life, parents often hear parents complain that their children are disobedient, willful, rebellious... If the child has a problem, the parents should first reflect on whether it is related to themselves. The child is a mirror of the parents, if the child has the following problems, see if the reason behind it has anything to do with you?
Parents' emotional instability is easy to cause children's personality deviations Many parents and children get along with strong emotions. When the mood is good, everything is good to see, and it is also very good for the child; once the mood is not good, it is completely different, everything is upset when you see it, and it is not pleasing to the eyes when you see the child, and it is indispensable to reprimand and scold. This tight-time and loose home upbringing is really bad.
Parents will ask, when the child makes a mistake, he just encounters me in a bad mood, can not ignore it, education is the right, but to talk about the method, respect the child's personality, do not hit the self-confidence, the right thing is not right, the natural law of bearing the consequences.
Live in the emotions of the moment
Live in the emotions of the moment — With normal development (including the prefrontal cortex, which is only partially developed in the brain), your child will have natural, fluctuating (and often very strong) emotions. As a parent who is adapting to their child, lack of sleep and is under constant stress, it is normal to have such strong emotions. So you need to set a goal – to treat not just the child with compassion and patience, but yourself. Learn to "be aware," "cohabitation," or "experiencing the present moment" of your emotions without changing them.
Live in wonderful moments
Live in wonderful moments — Look for magical moments in your day. It could be the moment your child gently kisses the tip of your nose, it may be the moment when you dance softly to the bluegrass music, or it may be the moment when you witness your child reach a new milestone. Pay attention to capturing these wonderful moments, such as a smile, a hug, a laugh, a ray of sunshine, a moment of contact with a friend or a moment of pure happiness.
Pleasure
Every morning, ask yourself, "What will I get pleasure from today?" ”
It could be a few minutes of cuddling before your child gets up to paint warmly, or listening to your favorite show on the way to and from work and having a delicious snack at breakfast. Or maybe a twenty-minute walk after lunch and chatting with an old friend on the phone. Of course, it could also be just hugging your dog or reading childish little stories with your child. Research shows that preparing for a period of time in advance to "taste" something allows you to enjoy it more than "doing" it.
thanksgiving
Maintaining gratitude can increase emotional resilience while being more optimistic. Not only that, but no matter what kind of person you are, staying grateful is inextricably linked to your mental health and your satisfaction with your life. But while it's good for us to understand feelings and express gratitude, it's hard to remember to put gratitude into practice.
Here are some creative strategies or tips to help us remember to express gratitude:
Red Light: Think of every time you wait for a red light as a reminder to think about the things that make you feel grateful.
Shower: While showering, reminisce about something you'll be thankful for.
Wash the dishes: When washing the last plate, thank your spouse for some specific things she did ("Thank you for taking your daughter to gymnastics today" or "Thank you for fixing the broken window in the morning").
Thank you cards: Try writing down a stack of thank you cards every week (e.g., "Grandma, thank you for taking care of the kids"; "Thank you for driving me this week, Ann"; or "Thank you for helping me find these books, Mr. Librarian").
Keep a journal: Write down something in your journal every night that you're grateful for.
The way to get along
There are interesting and interesting things and attitudes. Analyze the feelings of both sexes, the psychology of men and women, interpret the origin of love marriage and family, discuss the wisdom of getting along with friends in the workplace and friends, share love skills, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, learn children's parent-child relationship, family education, and make your life more harmonious.
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