Marriage is betrayed, in fact, the real horror is that you are completely crushed by frustration

01

Betrayal causes the greatest pain, two things.

First, the failure of sincerity and trust, from then on to lose the minimum trust in people, dare not love again, full of negative energy; second, tormented by frustration, can not help but doubt themselves, easy to stagnate from now on, no longer sunshine and self-confidence.

It takes time to get out, you can't get out, and your whole life is over.

First of all, we have to accept the fact of betrayal and admit that we have paid wrong. This means, don't get the bull's horns on the tip of your head, and kidnap yourself with the idea of "I trust you, you have to be loyal to me."

You always have to accept the fact that it is not that you love someone, that person will fall in love with you because of this love. It is not that you trust you alone, that person will always be loyal to you because of this trust.

Love and trust, in fact, have never been related to each other.

People can only do what they can always do, from the moment they choose feelings, they should realize that trust is a double-edged sword, put trust into the hands of the other party, the other party has two choices, you can use this sword to hurt you, you can also use this sword to protect you.

Couples who can be loyal to each other rely on each other's conscience and morality, and you can only guarantee your own behavior, which can be constrained by conscience and morality, and you cannot guarantee that the other party can also do this.

To some extent, it is normal to be betrayed, after all, people's feelings are like ups and downs, and they all have the nature of adventure, which means that they all have the possibility of changing their hearts. Therefore, love and loyalty are not the inevitable results of feelings, and there is also luck to meet a person who can be loyal.

"I love you so much, how can you betray me?" Many people always struggle with this point to make themselves more and more painful, in fact, I love you does not mean that you have to be loyal to me.

02

If you want to get out of the shadow of betrayal, first separate the two things of "I love you" and "you are loyal to me." It can be seen that a large part of the pain is also brought to oneself by oneself, that one loves the wrong person, and that's all.

Luo Zhenyu said:

"When love takes a kidnapping posture and I love you, you have to love me. Once this logic is established, love becomes a toxin. ”

In the end, it becomes a weapon to hurt yourself, rather than bringing any burden to the other party.

In the same way, you love him (her), this is your business, whether he (she) can be loyal to you, this is the other person's business, you may affect the other party with your own love, but can not directly decide.

In fact, this is not the most painful place, frustration is the most torturous, making it difficult for many people to get out.

For example, if the partner betrays himself and falls in love with another person, he will always think: I am really so bad, am I so inferior to him (her)?

Until the result, I am really bad, really not comparable, otherwise how can my partner betray herself? Since then, it has been a long road of self-doubt, and it has been devastated. Even in the face of the third party, he is very inferior and timid, and he condenses his own light.

First of all, you need to know that the betrayal of your partner is not necessarily love, but may also be caused by passion, and in order to fill the missing part of your own heart.

So there is no need for self-doubt, even if the betrayal of your partner is due to a change of heart and a genuine love for another person, this is not a denial of your own value and charm. Because the two of you are different individuals, there is no comparison, just like in this world, there are always people who like you and there are always people who don't like you.

People who don't like you don't mean that you are poor and not attractive enough, but the type and feeling of liking are different.

The fact that a partner is in love with another person, too, only means that he or she prefers that type, and you can't completely deny your own charm and value just because you are not your partner's real favorite type.

Really don't link betrayal to whether you are good or not, even if you are excellent, if you meet a partner who has no ability to manage desires, it is still possible to betray you.

People who can betray marriage often do not understand what is true love, their love, often narcissistic love, when the emotion strikes, like, when the emotion disappears, and eventually let themselves more and more lonely, no matter who they are with, this love can not last long, because their love, is narcissistic love.

03

Really, the marriage is betrayed, in fact, the real horror is that you are completely crushed by frustration! You can never lift your head and straighten your waist, you are the victim, and as a result, the other party is living well, but you torture yourself and do not ghost, and even put yourself into your own life.

In such a state, even if you leave the other party, you can no longer find a good person, because you are already unhappy, the psychology has been dark and paranoid, a person's self-confidence has been lost, what charm is there?

People who can betray marriage are selfish people, and there are extremely low moral standards, only to achieve the satisfaction of their own selfish desires, even if you are excellent, you can't change the nature of this kind of person.

Also, it proves the fact that he or she doesn't love you enough.

So you just lost a person who pretended to love you, after all, if you really loved you, you wouldn't know that you would hurt and would hurt you. Obviously, the other party is not afraid of hurting you, and is not afraid of losing you, what is true love?

If you really love you, you won't fall in love with another person again, but all the time, it's just that you feel that he or she really loves you.

At least true love, there will be an inclusive heart, and there will be a feeling of pity, and can't bear to hurt you, even if you have desires.

Your personality charm is different, the advantages and disadvantages are different, the strengths and weaknesses are different, there is no one who is excellent and who is bad, do not belittle and deny yourself, if you completely deny yourself, this is the real loss.

It's like in this world, there are people who don't like someone very much, but who appreciate you very much, and it's not that you're excellent, but you just happen to be the type that the other party likes to be more and more excited about, it's just right, it's just right, it's also accidental. We must correct our attitude and correctly face and accept the matter of betrayal.

When you meet someone you like more, you will betray and throw yourself into the arms of that person, and it is possible to meet someone you like more in the future and make the same choice, because it is only like, not real love, and because there is no management of desire and instinctive restraint.

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