According to the survey, nearly 80% of children and adolescents are facing various troubles in their lives, of which 40% of children believe that their families cannot understand themselves, and they cannot discuss problems with their families.
In the process of children and adolescents growing up, you can see obvious physical growth, more things that can be controlled and manipulated, and children feel that they have grown up. When I entered my adolescence, I felt even more like I was an adult.
However, children's hearts are often not as mature as they look, and many things still depend on the assistance of adults to solve, and this gap between reality and ideals will also make children feel frustrated. And these internal contradictions, because the brain is not yet fully mature, are difficult to express clearly in a language that parents can understand.
When communicating with children and adolescents, it is often found that children cannot fully trust the adults around them, possible reasons are: 1. they have asked for help but have not received a positive response; 2. they have bad experience in school, the medical system or other professional resources; 3. It is difficult to express the problem clearly, so the problem is ignored or blamed instead.
At this time, the intervention of professional psychologists is a good medium and mediator, which allows children and parents to distance themselves first, see each other's position and situation clearly, and act as translators, so that parents and children can better understand each other's thoughts and feelings.
Psychologists can also assist children with social skills, communication skills, emotional recognition and control, etc., at the beginning of children's growth and transformation, help them how to interact with the environment more effectively, and establish their future goals. Commonly dealt with topics such as parenting problems, relationship tension, children's anger control, confrontational resistance, bullying, Internet addiction, learning adaptation, children's emotional depression, trauma recovery and other issues.
The effectiveness of counseling for children and adolescents can be jointly observed and evaluated by the child himself, parents, other main caregivers, school teachers, psychologists and other people around the child, in addition to using subjective experience or evaluation to present the results, the child himself should have a sense, and the important others around him also need to feel the child's change, in order to have better results.
According to the counseling experience of psychologist Professor Rong Xinqi for more than 20 years, it can be found that after a period of joint efforts, the visiting children and their parents can grow and gain, and can develop better adjustments and adaptations in daily life, parent-child relationship, and disease distress.
If you decide to do psychological counseling, you need to have some psychological preparation. If the child is younger, the counselor usually talks with the parents for some time to understand the purpose of the consultation and the expectations of the parents and children. This process is not only for parents to provide information, psychologists can also initially assess parenting style, degree of distress and criticality, resource system that can be supported or intervened in this process, and empower and encourage parents to try. The effectiveness of counseling begins to occur when you are willing to come for the trouble of parenthood.
For example, teenagers will often use independent talks to establish a sense of trust between psychologists and adolescents, and also accompany children to establish a balance between independence and dependence on adults in this process, and then make time to talk to caregivers about parenting counseling.
Younger children, on the other hand, may be more suitable for play therapy, because it is difficult for younger children to state their needs through language, and may use behavioral surface problems such as nightmares, bedwetting, separation anxiety, and crying to express their need for assistance to caregivers.
The more complex the problem, the longer the consultation process will be, and often four to six times there will be some small changes. The psychologist will also adjust the intervention method and length of the counseling process according to the child's individual differences, which also requires time and patience and the psychologist to continuously communicate back and forth in both directions and work together.
The original text is from the Rong Xinqi Professor Psychology Hall, if you need to reprint, please obtain permission and indicate the source.