Have you ever had some marital relationship problems that you can't face?
Years from now, will love still be what you've seen? Do the people you loved with your life still love you as deeply as they did then?
This is a "collection" of original feelings in a marriage case file.
Insightful question sentences, which themselves carry objective answers, still say into the hearts of many people who have come over, making people can't help but recall their emotional past again.
The respondents varied, ranging from men to women, from young to middle-aged.
Some people have been divorced for a long time, and some people are on their way to divorce. Some people have already remarried and reunited, and some people have no chance to remarry again. Of course, there are also a few people who find happiness after divorce...
As the saying goes, come and know that love is a warm year, and marriage is a harbor for love. The word "love" runs through the whole process, and cannot be abandoned or defiled. Unfortunately, the human heart in reality is not necessarily unswerving.
This is the reality of marriage, which you can only accept and is difficult to avoid.
People who come over should understand a truth: years can not only change a person, but also change the road ahead. Not only can it make you confused about love, but sometimes it will also make you feel heartache.
There are many paths in the relationship that should not be taken, just like the ghost obsession of some people when they empathize with each other. How confident I was, how sad I was later.
Some people have "accidentally" gone out of the way once, and they can't help themselves under the psychology of luck, and there will always be a "next time". They gradually think that it is love, but in the end they destroy the marriage and family that should be happy.
It wasn't until one day when I turned around and looked back at the downfall in front of me that I finally saw the ups and downs of love.
It is often experienced to wake up, it is easy to betray a person, and it is difficult to save it.
That's the truth that can only be understood through tears, turning around and looking back, unable to look back. The dream seems to be there, but it is out of reach. Reality has long been human, and only tears prove that you once loved.
However, when love has lost its meaning, that person no longer belongs to you...
First, people who are confused by love have similar feelings
I am allowed to express my personal opinion a little in the article without much explanation.
Below, I will not write about marriage cases. I express an objective logic of marriage through only some of my personal feelings about the thousands of marriage cases I have written about in the past.
In the face of certain emotional problems, the biggest difference between people is experience. As far as things are concerned, I never target anyone.
When it comes to the past of marriage, many people are bitter and tearful. Love and hate are entangled in back and forth, inextricably linked, difficult to say, inadvertently provoking people's hearts.
The people who make mistakes in their feelings are sad, and those who have not made mistakes will also be sad, which is a solid marriage logic and reality.
Some people say that how sincere it is when I love each other, how desperate it is when I am separated, after all, I have wrongly paid my heart and wrongly loved a person.
Some people say that love goes farther and farther, marriage is a day by day, and it is suffering in the future. If I could go back to the beginning of the encounter, I'd rather pass each other.
Some people say that love has cooled down for a long time, but those things are still fresh in their minds. When there are good days, they are not cherished, and when they want to live a good life, the good days have reached the end...
Some things in marriage are like the tribulations of hindsight, which come unexpectedly and go in a meandering way. Looking at the mottled trajectory of feelings, many people's eyes were hazy and they shed tears.
Once upon a time, any love was beautiful, and any marriage was pinned on the noblest ideals of life. Later, many people's hearts are only left with a warm time that can only be barely maintained by memory.
Someone betrayed the vows of husband and wife for "true love".
Some people have abandoned a harmonious marriage in order to live a "good life".
In order to protect the family, some people forgive the other half who has cheated again and again.
Some people realize that they are wrong after divorce, but they can never get back that heart...
There are all kinds of strange things in the world, and there are all kinds of things in marriage. Many emotional problems are often left speechless later.
When the tears blurred the vision, it was no longer possible to see the beauty of the past. By then, it no longer matters who loses and who loses.
From love to hate, from hate to love, whether it has been loved or hated, whether it has been betrayed by love, or has been disappointed by love, when a person is lonely, the mood is similar.
This is the deepest answer in the feelings, once out of the adversity of the feelings, you have the most precious wealth in life. Once stuck by emotional adversity, you can't help yourself in the future.
Second, there should be an account for the reader
Let me tell you a little bit about some of my real feelings when I wrote about marriage cases. Someone has asked me a lot of similar emotional questions, and due to time reasons, I haven't answered any readers' questions in the past 2 years.
I think there should be an account for the readers.
In principle, I don't want my article to affect any reader who has suffered in a relationship about the future direction of the relationship.
In practical terms, I wouldn't like to write about a man's marriage case.
Because when writing marriage cases, I may not be able to grasp the psychological activities of men. As a psychologist with "indicators", if I can't write accurately, even for me personally, it is already a serious mistake.
I don't want to make mistakes and don't want to interfere with anyone's judgment of marital feelings. Inaccurate cases of marital feelings would rather not be written than written more.
For me personally, seriousness is a responsible attitude to avoid emotional self-blame in the future.
In contrast, it is much simpler to describe the mental activities of women when faced with some emotional problems.
Because I'm also a woman and have been in contact with a lot of women. I understand the common sensual psychological states of women and the chaotic state of mind they have when they grieve for marriage and love.
When women are pessimistic and lost because of marital emotional problems, they are often more willing than men to look for "life-saving straws". The number of women who complain about it is far more than that of men, which is a geometric gap!
Many marriage cases in the past have shown that it is not easy for a man to touch a woman who is happily married, but it is very simple to move a woman who is unhappily married.
When a woman's beloved man abandons her, another man gives a little care and comfort, and a few words can be said into their hearts. As a result, they can easily "cheat".
This is an increasingly common phenomenon in marriage, and it is worth pondering by men and women.
As a man, you should try to be single-minded and not make your wife feel unhappy. As a woman, when you're in a bad mood, don't go near men who have nothing to offer.
Just from the perspective of the topic and topic of my article, I have long discovered a reality. Women tend to open their hearts when they are sad, while men tend to hide their grievances in their hearts.
So, I prefer to write about marriage cases for women. Because they have a lot of words, it is easy to speculate.
But the reality is that, proportionally speaking, men tell far more marriage cases than women.
Quantitatively speaking, the emotional dilemmas faced by men are more universal. Usually it is their wives who cheat or have lovers, and they don't know how to be good.
On the other hand, women's emotional confusion is diverse. Some women, obviously cheating, feel that they are the most wronged.
From the perspective of life cognition, women are easy to complain, and their psychology is not defensive. Men are reluctant to complain, and the psychological defense line is stacked layer by layer, impenetrable.
But once men complain, they say more than women.
Third, men and women have different perspectives on emotional cognition
Perhaps some readers have found that in the marriage cases I have written about, women often tell about emotional distress and men's perspectives.
Yeah, the angle is really different.
If you are a long-time reader for more than 3 years, you may have already seen it. It wasn't that I did it on purpose, but that I followed the discrete distribution characteristics of the marriage case sample.
To put it bluntly, you can go back to any article and then summarize it.
All the marriage cases I have written about are objectively expressing a universal phenomenon of marriage.
For more than 2 years, I don't have to pursue traffic, I don't have to lie. Every time I write a case, I am responsible, and I can only describe it impartially.
Say a reality.
I'm not belittling anyone, as a woman, I should speak for women. But if you tell the truth, many women tell marriage cases mixed with "one-sided words" and the logic of "right and wrong".
A small number of women often "take ugliness as beauty", and they use "ignorance" and "desperation" to lower the group image of women, which is what I dislike.
Some people use the term "feminism" to describe it, but in fact, this word is no longer enough to describe them.
I deeply understand that it is not good to write too many such marriage cases. The main reason is that the impact is not good, and it is easy to deviate from some people's values and views on marriage.
Because some marriage cases are described as "true" enough, I have been criticized many times by teachers and units, and I will not say more here.
Later, I will have the opportunity to say that in the form of public names and spaces, they will be sent out in the form of "making up a number of texts".
Regarding the difference between men and women when they face emotional problems, I will give a very realistic example to express my point of view.
When couples divorce, some people accuse women, some people accuse men, in fact, they are from their own position to consider the overall situation.
But later, it was clear who was right and who was wrong.
When women abandon their families and show off their divorce papers all day, they have forgotten what grief is, what personality and dignity are.
And at that time, the man may be singing to the wine, which is a sad song of the soul. For the sake of their children and their families, they have to be strong to the end, have tears and not lightly, and live in the face of humiliation and burden.
At this point, there is a difference between men and women.
Maybe you've seen a lot of women show divorce papers on the Internet, and many women are divorced and want to know it all over the world. They tear their hearts and lungs out of love, make men worthless, and expect someone to understand them.
But think about it, which man have you ever seen show off a divorce certificate online? Although I have seen it, there are very few men compared to women.
A few years ago, because of the work arrangement, I voluntarily went to the front line, and I met many divorced men and women face to face (mainly people who were abandoned by their lovers and divorced, and had psychological problems).
You can see their frustration, helplessness, sadness, and the last bit of strength hidden behind their sad emotions.
That shred of strength is like the spark of self-improvement, as long as it is not extinguished, it will always have the last temperature, so as to keep the last faith of the soul. Once it burns seriously, they are still the good sons of the year.
The big husband who suffers from no wife should be talking about this truth.
This is the catharsis of men's subconscious emotions, as long as there is a fire of hope in their hearts, they cannot be defeated by feelings! Maybe they once bowed their heads in front of women, but that was just temporarily disoriented.
On the other hand, women, throughout the ages, no one has ever dared to say this sentence: Why does a little girl suffer from a husbandlessness?
Why?
Yes, the reason is hidden in the words. This is the constraint of culture, and it is also the core of public order and good customs in marriage and love.
Regarding the merits and demerits of feelings, everyone has a pure land in their hearts, and I can just click to the end. Don't dare to say too much, otherwise you will be criticized again, and you will not be able to express your views in the future.
Generally speaking, when women are abandoned by love and family, they are more likely than men to abandon themselves and lose judgment. In absolute terms, there are far more "women who have difficulty turning back" than men, and there is a reason for this.
Once a woman is overly sad in her feelings, she may never find a way back to self-confidence.
As a woman, I should remind women. In the face of emotional problems, the most taboo self-abandonment. We are not men, that is the core logic.
A brief case of marriage
Last month, in a marriage case, a woman recounted the following passages:
Back then, I made a serious emotional mistake.
I feel that the relationship between husband and wife is too flat, and there is no passion. So I secretly found a man who loved me and quietly hooked up with him.
He was the one I knew when I was playing around, and the first time I was with him, I was a bit uncomfortable. Shy, painful, excited, very remorseful, ashamed of her husband and family, the heart beats quickly.
Later, the number of times I spent with him increased, and I enjoyed it, only to find that the first half of my life was in vain.
I can't help but think about a question, life is short, my husband is not worthy of love, true love is in front of me, do I want to be brave enough to divorce?
After that, I fell hopelessly in love with him and was reluctant to break up. In order to pursue the "true love" of my dreams, I gave up everything and divorced at all costs.
Unfortunately, the divorce was only half a year old, and I realized that I was wrong.
I had a tumor inside, and it was malignant. If you let it go, your life will soon be over. My boyfriend gave up his plans to get married and broke up with me fiercely. He said there was nothing he could do, he said I can't have any more children, this love ends here...
I had nowhere to go, I had no money, and I had a heart that wanted to die.
At the last moment, it was my ex-husband and daughter who accepted me. My ex-husband took me back home and slowly healed me with the strength of the whole family.
I suddenly understood a truth, about love, the stains on my body can no longer be washed away. Fortunately, the so-called "love" is not only the husband and wife agreement of that year, but also the family affection that cannot be given up later.
Now we are very happy and grateful to have such a good husband.
But I am also very aggrieved in my heart, 5 years have passed, and there is still a shadow in my ex-husband's heart. We have long since restored the family, I have been pursuing remarriage, but we have not yet remarried...
I will not dwell on this case, and I will have the opportunity to write a separate article in the future.
In just these 1 case, you can find an objective emotional reality.
That is: usually, a woman's heart is soft, but after the change of heart, it is as hard as a stone. Usually, men's hearts are hard, but in the change of "from love to hate" and "from hate to love", men's hearts are often soft.
You're right, it's just that a lot of people think it wrong. The reality is that in relationships, the softest person is a man, not a woman!
That's my point, as a woman, and at this point, I admire men.
Of course, in the divorce cases I have written about, there are also many scumbags and women who have wrongly paid for youth and sincerity. In this case, women should be strong and not grieve for a man who doesn't love you.
This article is talked about here, all the "want to talk and stop" in the article, is the real feeling in your heart. In this article, I am serious and rarely express my views.
Remember, even if love makes you miserable, marriage makes you miserable, and it is not a reason for you to destroy someone else's family. Even if you don't care about your own family, you have no right to destroy someone else's family.
Please remember that life is a sonorous and heroic time, love is an unknown journey, and marriage is the destination for the rest of your life.
Regardless of men and women, love cannot be blasphemed, and personality cannot be trampled. Love one person, and persist in life to the end. Even if it fails, it is admired.
There is no complaint or regret in the company, try not to turn back. If you can't do it, you're bound to have suffering in your heart!"
As an article author, I have just been relaxed by my teacher.
The teacher and her old man are a great person, and even I can't imagine how great she is. Some of the words may not be clear and incomplete to me. This is normal, I respect and abide by the teacher's decision, and I can be hazy.
So, on the issue of marriage, I don't deliberately express a clear point of view, the article itself is the point of view.
The article ends with a few words from some marriage cases that I have written about.
Don't touch a married woman, she is the feng shui of that family, the life of another man!
Don't touch a married man, he is the backer of a family, and the rest of another woman's life.
Women who have families, don't always run out at night, don't act like you don't have a home. Men with families, don't always think that your wife has a good temper and you do whatever you want!
Every "love" that should not appear in the end has a price!
Life is a test in the world, there has never been a simple success, and marriage is still the same.
No matter how many difficulties you have faced in your relationship, please believe that once you really come out of the sea of suffering, it is the most precious wealth in life. If you lose what you gain, just face it calmly.