Sun Jingxiu, a child educator, once said: A child's eyes are a video recorder, and a child's ears are a tape recorder. The words and deeds of individual parents are the most useful sunshine for the hearts and minds of minors that nothing can replace.
1
Don't be sarcastic about the other half of the child's face
We often consciously or unconsciously talk about the bad half of the other half in front of the child, such as:
"Your father is just a hand-throwing treasurer, the oil bottle is poured, and he doesn't take it with a support, he is really lazy!"
"I haven't enjoyed a single day with your father in this life, and if it weren't for you, I would have divorced him a long time ago."
"Your mother is stupid and stupid, a human head, a pig's brain!"
"Your mother has been nagging like a machine gun all day."
Half of the child comes from the father and half from the mother, and denying one of the parents of the child is equivalent to unconsciously denying half of the child. One of the parents negates the other and rejects the other, and for the child, just as the inner half of the parents negates the other half, the result will inevitably cause a psychological split in the child.
Moreover, when one or both parties habitually taunt and attack each other in front of the child, it will not only give the child a wrong demonstration, but also make him easily approve of the "negative evaluation" of the parents, prejudice against the father or mother, and also make the child feel embarrassed and dissatisfied with the parents.
If parents lose their relationship because they attack each other, they will even make the child reject the marriage and have a sense of fear of intimacy.
2
Break the rules without facing your child
Now many people say that the current bear child is really spoiled and has no rules at all. In fact, if you think about it, most of the behaviors that appear in children can find shadows in adults.
Colleague Sister Wang, who has always been a fiery person, rarely sees traffic lights when crossing the road, and when there is no car or less traffic, simply rush over. Now that there is a policy of "courtesy to pedestrians", Sister Wang is even more unscrupulous.
However, a few days ago, when we crossed the road together, Sister Wang was waiting for the green light for the first time in the world. She said that once when she crossed the road with her son, her son saw that there was no traffic nearby and planned to trot all the way across the road. As a result, I was just halfway down the road when suddenly a taxi sped up. She was really scared that seven souls had lost six souls, but fortunately the driver braked in time. Of course, there is also a lot of insults.
Sister Wang reflected that it is precisely because she did not set a good example in front of her son that she would let her child be wrongly tempted.
Not only crossing the street, but also when parents and children visit the supermarket, they originally agreed to buy only the same toys and snacks, but under the child's crying, the parents compromised and gave in, and bought all the toys and snacks that the children liked. After a few successful times, the "rules" of the child's inner perception change: crying, or losing a temper, you can get it.
Children without a sense of rules, as soon as they enter the collective life or enter the society, will find that the sense of rules emphasized externally and the sense of rules he has formed are contrary. Their hearts must be restless, insecure, at a loss, but they don't know how to deal with it.
So parents should stop breaking the rules immediately and don't hurt your favorite child!
3
Don't complain in front of your child
Writer Liu Jirong said that she once heard her son and classmates talking on the phone: "I have no sense of happiness, where can I laugh, life is really bitter..." When she heard these words, she shivered, not knowing how her son could become so negative and pessimistic.
So, she complained to her husband, complaining that his husband was out all year round and could not help her. The husband laughed and said that these bad emotions of his son were learned from her.
Liu Jirong reacted to this: Those words spoken by her son are her mantra! Every day after work, she came home with a bitter face. After dinner, I talked on the phone with my friends, from the difficulty of the small clerk to the tiredness of the part-time housewife. Enough suffering, this day can also be counted as the end of the account.
Every day, the same resentment is broadcast by the Women's Federation, and inadvertently, it also transmits depression to the son. How can parents who do not have happiness raise children with happiness?
Complaining is one of the most common mistakes we make. It will creep into your life, engulf your good mood, and ruin your life. Occasional complaining is an emotional outlet; but endless complaining only makes you and the people around you more negative.
Parents with high levels never complain to their children. Children who grow up in complaint will be resentful in the future.
4
Don't cry poor in front of your children
Many years ago, the writer Xie Kehui lined up at the hospital to see a doctor, and in front of her was a little girl. The little girl's mother had been scolding her daughter for making her eyes short-sighted. The little girl was very aggrieved, and she kept crying, and her mother also cried: How do you make your eyes short-sighted, I have worked hard to raise you, and you still let me give you glasses, do you know that this is all money! As he spoke, he pushed his own daughter.
The little girl was told by her mother and ran away crying.
Xie Kehui said that she did not know whether their family was living very hard, but in front of everyone, she reprimanded her daughter, told her hard work, and thought that her unhappiness came from her daughter, which was really not so decent.
I once heard a mother say this: Don't complain to your child casually, because you will find that your unintentional complaint will cause the child to form invisible pressure. And you never know what role that pressure will play.
Wise parents never complain to their children.
5
Don't argue in front of your child
There is such a psychological case. A very brave policeman, very capable, catching bandits will never lose his hand. The only time was because the bandit climbed a very tall building, and the policeman was afraid of heights.
The police found a psychologist to do psychological counseling for him, and after communication, the psychologist found that the police were afraid of heights because when he was a baby in the cradle, his parents always stood next to the cradle and quarreled. As a result, the police have fallen into the shadow of fear of heights.
This psychological case may sound ridiculous, but it needs to cause us to think deeply. We all say that children don't know anything, but from the moment they are born, they have begun to learn to observe the people around them and observe the world in which they live.
I know that a netizen said that when her parents quarrel, they often can't control themselves from saying some harsh words, and their faces are vicious, which is no less than a horror movie in her opinion. It can be seen that parents quarrel in front of their children, how much harm and impact will be brought to their children.
In fact, marriage is like a pendulum, good and bad is the norm, it is inevitable to quarrel. But wise parents should never quarrel in front of their children, even if they quarrel, they will fight hand in hand to minimize the harm to their children.
END
In March, the solar terms massage are arranged in advance
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