From "glass heart" to high contrarian quotient, because Grandma insisted on one thing and shared her 3 tips

1、

The cousin said that she was about to be tortured crazy by her 3-year-old daughter Kiki, and the child's contrarian quotient was too low and too "glass-hearted": he lost his temper when he did not go well, cringed when he encountered difficulties, stagnated when he encountered failure, and shed tears once he was rejected.

At first, the cousin patiently untied Kiki and told her it was okay. But the child is always the same, and as time goes on, the cousin is inevitably anxious. On this day, there was an aunt in the nearby supermarket who was sending balloons, the mother and daughter went late, and the last balloon was also taken away by the children, and Kiki's mouth began to cry as soon as she was deflated.

The cousin coaxed for a long time, Kiki still cried non-stop, the cousin was anxious, yelled at her: "If it is gone, it is gone, what are you crying?" Who told you to come late, and there will be more unpleasant and rejected things like this in the future! Are you crying? ”

Kiki was originally aggrieved, yelled at by her cousin, even more sad, and ran home crying. The cousin wanted to say a few more words to her, but was stopped by the child's grandmother. I thought grandma was here to help, who knows, grandma not only did not say children, but blamed the cousin for being acute, not talking well, and even the cousin who had just entered the door shook his head.

I am doing this for her own good, now do not cultivate her reverse quotient, and there will be crying in the future. I thought that the whole family would definitely support such a statement. Who knows, the child's grandmother will not give in, and said that the cousin is fooling around like this, not so much to cultivate contrarian business, but to say that he loses his temper. The cousin-in-law also agreed, and said that the cousin would only help, and the anti-business cultivation still depended on the grandmother!

Watching the mother and son breathe out of one of their nostrils, the cousin was half dead, simply picked the pick and did not do it, and thought: See what kind of high anti-quotient child you can cultivate!

Saying this, the cousin is actually quite uneasy in her heart, especially watching the mother-in-law take the child, that is, to see picture books, play games, and nothing else.

The cousin quietly discussed with the cousin-in-law: I see that my mother is not special in cultivating the child's reverse business, otherwise, let's go and sign up for the child's class, right?

Who knows, the cousin-in-law came to a sentence: My mother is much more patient than you, you don't add to the chaos.

At this point, the cousin was angry, simply out of sight, and never asked again.

2、

In the blink of an eye, Kiki is 4 years old.

On this day, her cousin was invited to participate in the sports meeting of Kiki's kindergarten, and Kiki, who usually loves to run the most, was very excited, and it turned out that she had seen the medal that only the first place had in the morning: a shiny badge. Unfortunately, only a few meters from the finish line, Kiki was unstable at her feet, and she was stepped forward by another little boy, and Kiki lost the medal.

The cousin thought that Kiki would have to hide and cry as she had before; she would probably never want to participate in the Games again. After all, she had been like this before.

Who knows, Kiki actually just regretted "Oh", as soon as she turned around, she happily held up her award certificate and ran over, saying loudly while running: "Mom, it doesn't matter if you fail this time, I will work hard, next time I will definitely get the medal back for you." Am I very good? ”

Looking at this confident, optimistic daughter, the cousin cried out in amazement. Later, she found more sparkles on Kiki' body:

Know how to say "no", can bravely express rejection; do wrong things to be criticized, can happily accept, and actively correct; there are certain difficult things, she also dares to try boldly; most importantly, her ability to resist setbacks is much stronger, and the contrarian quotient is getting higher and higher.

The teachers all praised their cousins, saying that Kiki's anti-business education was too successful and would be easier to succeed than others in the future, and they also strongly invited their cousins to share with their parents.

The cousin's heart is mixed, happy that the daughter is getting better and better; worryingly, this child is a good mother-in-law, she herself has no credit at all, where is the experience? Moreover, he once blamed his mother-in-law and almost provoked the contradiction between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

3、

After a fierce psychological struggle, the cousin still put down her so-called face and humbly asked her mother-in-law for advice. In this regard, the child's grandmother did not hide herself and shared with her cousin.

First of all, there are 3 reasons why it is easy to cause children's reverse quotient to be low:

Difficulty expressing emotions

Children, like adults, will have their own emotional experience, but due to children's psychological immaturity, their cognitive ability is limited, they cannot find their own emotional changes in time, and they lack effective management of their emotions, especially in the face of negative emotions, if there is no correct guidance from their families, their emotional expression is prone to deviations, or even out of control.

Overprotective family

Now the family protects the child too well: running is afraid of falling, walking is afraid of stumbling, carrying a small school bag is afraid of tired children, hate can not be 24 hours a day 360 ° no dead end to protect the child.

In this way, the child loses a lot of opportunities for trial and error, and the child is prone to selfishness and self-centeredness, and it becomes difficult to adapt to collective life and will not get along with others.

Just do it

Suspect that the child is eating slowly, feed him; afraid that the child will drop things, pack his school bag... Many times, parents "handily" take care of everything for their children, do what should be done by themselves for him, and suffer from the suffering that should be the child himself.

As a result, when parents are not strong enough and need their children to face it independently, they will be at a loss, unable to do what they should have done, but encounter greater hardships and face greater difficulties.

4、

Grandma said that it is for these reasons that when cultivating Kiki's contrarian quotient, she consciously starts from the following 3 aspects:

1. Control your emotions and give your children a good example

When children with low contrarian quotient encounter difficulties and stagnate, or even retreat in frustration, parents are most afraid of yelling. Because the parents' emotions will directly affect the children's emotions, it will make them more afraid.

The right thing to do is to control your emotions, give the child a good example, and then gently encourage the child to say what he really thinks.

2. Guide emotional catharsis and give children a sense of security

When children encounter difficulties and negative emotions, parents should intervene, guide and help children recognize negative emotions in a timely manner, carry out emotional adjustment and catharsis, and let children realize: "No matter what I am like, my parents love me."

With such a sense of security, children can adjust from negative emotions more quickly, and also lay the foundation for the cultivation of reverse quotient.

3. Cultivate children's ability to resist pressure and do a good job in anti-business education

Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, where there are rivers and lakes, there are disputes, getting along with people, everything is a surprise, being accepted is a surprise, encountering difficulties, being rejected is the norm, we can protect the child for a while, but we can't protect the child for a lifetime, she always has to accept various tests from the outside world. Therefore, it is important to cultivate children's ability to resist pressure and do a good job in anti-business education.

However, Kiki is still only a child after all, and her understanding and the words of adults will always be inconsistent. At this time, you need to use the right tools.

Considering that Kiki is only 3-4 years old, it is precisely because she is interested in new things, loves to play games, and is also a critical period for cultivating positive emotions, Grandma compared various anti-business cultivation materials on the market and finally chose this set of "Children's Reverse Business Training Picture Book".

This set of 10 books contains various dilemmas that children will encounter in life: making mistakes, jealousy, not being the first, getting angry, afraid, criticized, failing, lonely, crying, rejecting, effectively helping family members to teach children to recognize setbacks, and cultivating children's contrarian quotient, bravely saying "it's okay".

Grandma said that this set of picture books is suitable for 2-6-year-old children, the content is close to the child's life, with different animals as the protagonist, showing the various difficulties that children may encounter in life and interacting with people, such as: quarreling with friends, jealousy, tantrums, being criticized, etc. From the child's perspective, with the child's understanding and interest in the small stories to reproduce life, so that children can read into it, empathy, but also let the child from the management of emotions, face setbacks, not afraid of difficulties and other aspects of the comprehensive cultivation of children's reverse quotient.

Grandma also said a most critical point, that is, after reading the picture book with Kiki, she also deliberately role-played with Kiki to help children control their emotions in the face of various difficulties and deepen their understanding of facing difficulties, which is exactly what children with low business need most.

It is said that IQ determines how high a person goes, and contrarian quotient determines how far to go. For parents of children with low contrarian quotients, this is a set of books that are worth the money.

Listening to the mother-in-law's words, the cousin felt that her face was hot and spicy, and she realized her own shortcomings, before she always felt that the mother-in-law with the child was not good, that was not good, and felt that the mother-in-law did not have a temper to bully. In fact, it is precisely because of the hard work of the mother-in-law that the cousin can work with peace of mind: the cousin thinks, the mother-in-law thinks, the cousin does not think, the mother-in-law also thinks, and the mother-in-law really does much more than her mother.

No wonder people say that there is an old man in the family, if there is a treasure, grandma has more knowledge than the mother.

If your child is also a "glass heart" and has a weak ability to resist setbacks; if you also want to make your child brave and confident, it is easier to succeed in the future; if you also want to help your child control emotions and reverse business, it is recommended that you also give your child a set.

After all, we don't necessarily have such a good mother-in-law, but a book can be a book.