"Poor children, rich children" is a famous saying that has been circulating in China for a long time. The reason why it is deeply rooted must have its reason, but it seems that many parents have misinterpreted the true meaning.
- Le Dad
Source | Internet
Many people do not know the true meaning of poor children and rich daughters. Boys should be strict and give less money to spend, and girls should give more money to buy good things.
But in fact -
Raising a son poorly is an investment in a boy's life;
Raising a daughter is an investment in cultural accomplishment.
What the two have in common is to develop your baby's confidence, self-reliance and wisdom.
There have always been many rich and many ladies, and since ancient times, there have been few great men.
Therefore, "boys are poor, girls are rich" has become the "golden rule" of traditional parenting.
01
The true meaning of "poor" raising boys
As a parent, you must be clear that now that your son suffers, he will become a "rich" person and become a real man when he grows up!
For every boy, whether it is growth or maturity, it needs to be self-reliant, needs to take on more responsibilities, needs to face greater difficulties, and needs unremitting self-struggle.
It can be said that the growth and maturity of successful men is a process of constantly challenging themselves and struggling hard.
Perhaps, many people think that "poor" raising boys is to control the child's expenses, do not give him too much enjoyment, so as not to spoil him, this understanding is more one-sided, and we call "poor" raising a certain difference.
We believe that the more important significance of "poor" raising boys lies in the value brought to children by the personal feeling of "poverty" and "hardship", the tempering, exercise and cultivation of children's will, quality, character and mentality.
Without such a process, boys are prone to develop the habit of profligacy, covetousness, vulnerability, irresponsibility, and ignorance of human truth.
Just like some urban primary school students heard that there are children in the countryside who can't eat enough to eat, they were surprised and asked: "Why don't you eat chocolate when you are hungry?" ”
This can't help but remind people of the demented emperor of history, Emperor Hui of Jin, the world is desolate, the people are hungry, and his words are: "Why don't you eat meat?" "How can such a boy face the test of life in the future?"
Sooner or later they will be eliminated by society.
As the old saying goes, "Hardships and hardships, Yuru Yucheng." ”
Boys must become talents and not avoid "hardships and hardships" in order to be able to "yuru yucheng".
Let the boy get close to the "rich" prematurely and avoid the "poor", which seems to love it, but it is actually harmful.
Therefore, we must let the boy be tempered in the necessary "poverty" and "suffering", and know how to be proud of hard work and ashamed of extravagance and lavishness.
Of course, the "poor" boy we are talking about here does not mean that the boy eats chaff and thinks bitterly, so that the boy can bear unnecessary inhuman torture and pain.
Instead, let parents reduce their pampering habits and arrange for boys, let boys have more experience and exercise from an early age, and cultivate their tenacious and tenacious character.
To sum up, "poor" boys we can mainly understand and grasp from the following aspects:
Let the boys live a little "hard life"
A good material life and a lot of money for children are the first killers of burying children. Some people joke that the children have a lot of money, in addition to buying back pleasure, pleasure and bad work, and the heart of comparison, but also buying back prison cars and prisons.
The economy has taken off, and parents who have bulged up in their pockets will spend money on raising their children, which is beyond reproach, and can create good learning conditions and environments for them, but they must not give them too luxurious material enjoyment.
Otherwise, it is not too late to save the money and give it to his son when he grows up and has a normal view of money.
For the sake of his son's positive progress, for his son to cultivate the virtue of thrift and thrift, and for his son not to be full of warmth and bad thoughts, it is better to let him live a "poor life".
Let the boys experience frustration
The flowers in the greenhouse could not withstand the storm.
The concept of loving children in the mouth that is afraid of melting in the mouth and holding in the hand for fear of pain will prompt the boy to be weak-willed, have poor psychological endurance, and go to extremes in the slightest encounter with unhappiness or setbacks.
Setbacks inspire a boy's spirit of bravery and fearlessness to face the difficulties encountered positively. As parents, we must let our son suffer "setbacks" and encourage them to overcome and overcome them.
Let the boys learn to live independently
"Clothes come to stretch out, food to open the mouth", "everything is done", this is a taboo for educating people.
A lot of college students can't cook, can't do laundry, can't fold quilts, it's incredible.
Can such a man accept the challenges of society? Can you be creative?
Therefore, parents should teach as soon as possible from childhood and let them take on what they can independently.
Self-care, housework, cooking, and independent work are the inevitable of people!
Let the boy be properly wronged
Boys must learn to be strong, be properly wronged, and have a deeper understanding of life.
If the son does something wrong, it is necessary for the parents to give appropriate criticism and punishment, even if he is a little wronged, it is not lacking in a strategy for educating people.
Such a child, after experiencing a variety of emotional experiences, has less rebellious psychology, strong psychological endurance, and mental health, and is easy to become a big thing.
Let boys learn to take responsibility
Responsibility is the "badge" on men's shoulders, because they dare to take responsibility and do not shirk their responsibilities, so that men are more attractive.
Therefore, parents should educate boys from an early age to be responsible, so that they can assume the dual responsibilities of family and society in the future and become a man who stands tall in the sky.
Let the boys be more optimistic and loving
An optimistic attitude and kind love are essential qualities for a mature and excellent man.
Therefore, parents should guide their children through different ways and methods, wipe away the dirt of their children's hearts, eliminate the selfishness in their children's hearts, and let their children grow into an optimistic, cheerful, kind and sincere person.
Every parent loves his son, but there is a distinction between "small love" and "big love".
The practice of blindly pampering the son is "small love"; and the practice of raising a son "poorly" is the real "big love".
Only under this kind of education can boys grow into healthy, happy, excellent and outstanding men.
02
The true meaning of "rich" raising girls
The main true meaning of a girl's wealth is to cultivate her temperament from an early age, broaden her horizons, increase her ability to read the world, and enhance her insight.
"Rich" girls, because they are knowledgeable, independent, assertive, and wise, know very well what they want and what is really worth pursuing.
When she reaches the age of flowers, she is not easily seduced by the prosperity and vanity of all kinds of floating worlds.
The most important qualities for a girl to cultivate are first and foremost empathy, she has a good character, can control her emotions, is grateful to the people who help her, and is an elegant lady.
Encouragement – encouragement to nurture, not modestly
A girl's mother once wrote to me asking: There are too many ways to educate girls, too complicated, is there any "most perfect", "simplest" and "easiest to master" methods that can make my "lazy mother" also smoothly guide my daughter to grow into an excellent woman?
My reply is this: "Encouragement" alone.
One of my students, a 13-year-old girl, once wrote in her diary:
Whenever I encounter difficulties and hesitate, my father will always stand firmly by my side and tell me: "Child, in dad's mind you are the best, dad believes you can do it!" ”
Thanks to my dad, I was able to develop an independent, strong character...
Compared to boys, girls live in a world of relationships where they need the affirmation and approval of others and the push of her in the back.
For them, the affirmation and recognition of others and the help of others are the source of motivation for their self-confidence, independence, strength and pursuit of excellence.
In the process of growing up in a girl, saying more words of encouragement and making one more encouraging behavior will often create the miracle of education.
Of course, "encouraging to raise" instead of "modestly raising" also requires us to often say and do:
"Daughter, Mom and Dad love you very much."
"Mom and Dad believe in you."
"In Mom and Dad's mind, you're the best."
When the daughter is sad, hold her in her arms; when the daughter is timid, pat her shoulder; when the daughter is depressed, often give her a bright smile; when there is nothing to do, often quietly talk to the daughter quietly...
Don't Say Don't Do:
"How do you always do the wrong thing?"
"Compared with ××, you are really far behind."
"Such a performance, I really don't expect you to have anything to do."
Love - love to raise, not to coddle to raise
The second "rich connotation" of girls' healthy growth is love, which is the love that comes from their parents.
But, parent friends? I would like to ask you: Did you choose the right way to love? Let's start by testing our "degree of love" with such a small story.
The story of doting: The daughter and the neighbor's children got into a conflict, and a mother said to her daughter: "The hateful ×× blame him, which hurts my baby and never plays with him again." ”
The story of love: The daughter and the neighbor's children got into a conflict, and a mother said to her daughter: "Let's forgive ××, he shared his toy with you the other day!" ”
What is true "love"? What is overdone "love" - coddling?
The same thing happened to you, how did you deal with it?
I think that at this time, every parent has their own answer in their hearts - if you don't want to cultivate a squeamish, unreasonable, or even commanding "little princess", you should put an end to "coddling".
So, what kind of love is "loving"?
In my opinion, love is with light, warmth, conviction, optimism... These happy words occupy the girl's original, weakest and purest heart, turn them into the girl's lifelong beliefs, and make her world full of love and happiness.
Raise it responsibly, not go with the flow
A female friend of mine who has been friends for more than 10 years, whenever he talks to me about his mother, he always has a stomach full of grievances:
Growing up, my mom didn't care about anything. When my sister got married, she said: "I don't agree with this marriage, and I regret it later, don't come to me, and don't complain about me." ”
When I went to college, she also said: "You can apply for whatever you like, don't ask me." ”
As a result, now, my sister's married life is very unhappy, and what she hates most is her mother; when I think of what she said, I also want to love and love.
Every time I think of my friend's words, I think deeply about this question: Why does a daughter who should be more intimate and intimate with her mother have no feelings for her mother?
Thinking about it, I have to admit the fact that it was really the parents who did it wrong.
Parents are wrong because they are too "natural" in their upbringing and lack a "responsible" attitude.
What is this responsible attitude? That is– you have to "help" your daughter's growth.
Girls are introverted and even have some low self-esteem. (Parents "do a favor": Take your daughter to socialize, encourage her, praise her, and give her confidence.) ）
Girls have few hobbies and no specialties. (Parents "do a favor": Take your daughter to an instrument shop and dance school to guide and nurture her hobbies.) ）
Girls are faced with major choices and are torn between them. (Parents "help": analyze the pros and cons to the daughter, knock on the side, and subtly influence her.) ）
Negative parents, go with the flow; positive parents, create "nature."
In life, there are too many opportunities for girls to "create nature".
All in all, being responsible is not about how well you take care of your child's diet and living, it is called being responsible.
Responsible, you are responsible for the cultivation of children's abilities; responsible for the growth of children's physical and mental health; responsible for children's life blueprints; responsible for children's future...
Whether she is responsible or not determines whether the girl will grow into a person who is useless and dependent on others for everything, or a strong and independent person.
I thought that this was the true meaning of rich girls!
The above views can be summed up in one sentence: parents, whether for boys or girls, must cultivate the process of self-confidence, self-reliance and wisdom of their children.
Whether it is poor or rich, its connotation lies in education.
Disclaimer: [We respect originality. Text and picture material, the copyright belongs to the original author. Some articles can not be contacted with the original author for various reasons when pushing, if it involves copyright issues, please contact the original author to delete it, we only share it, not for commercial purposes. 】