"He was almost angry with me, not only was he usually disobedient at home, but going to school didn't make people worry at all, the teacher called every day, and if he went on like this, he would be angry to death, and this child would definitely not have any success in the future."
As soon as I went to work, my colleague Lao Wang angrily threw Bao Yi and complained to us. After inquiring, we learned that the original Wang family children are now in the stage of mischief, and they were called parents by the teacher for bullying other children in school.
Lao Wang still seemed to be angry, and kept complaining to us about the child: "You say that this child does not learn well when he is young, and what will happen after this?" It seems that this child is really not half an advantage when she says it.
Parents must be vigilant in this matter: the parents' mouths often determine the future of their children, so do not label their children casually!
First, negative labels solidify the child's shortcomings in the subconscious
If you can only see the shortcomings of the child in the eyes of the parents, it is easy to inadvertently take these shortcomings to negate everything about the child in the process of educating the child, and even if the gaze is limited to the shortcomings of the child, it is difficult for parents to see the advantages of the child.
Over time, this stereotype and inherent thinking will subconsciously lay the label of their own worthlessness for children, and they will not only deny themselves, but also think that such a useless self is not worthy of the love and attention of parents, thus slowly distorting into an inferior and gloomy personality afterwards.
Second, negative labels will make children pay more attention to bad behavior
If the surrounding family environment does not accept themselves, there is less positive motivation in life such as praise and encouragement, the child will be easily labeled as "outlier", in this golden age stage where values and worldview concepts need to be positively shaped, the child's three views are easily affected by the environment.
In order to seek inner security and presence, these children will be unconsciously attracted to some equally excluded circles, and in the stage of rebellion, children who are labeled negatively will also pursue mavericks, and under the influence of two sides, it will be easy for children to breed bad thoughts, and serious will go astray.
Third, negative labels hit children's self-confidence and limit their growth opportunities
Because they have been hit, children's self-confidence will naturally waver, and their own hearts will unconsciously have fears about the future and life, and in this fear and pressure, they will affect the development of future life.
For example, the child is haunted by the parents' sarcastic words, and before the exam, he unconsciously has a fear of the exam, then this kind of preconceived negative emotions are naturally difficult to get supernormal play; or the child has not confidence in himself when he communicates in the marriage relationship afterwards, and he is particularly sensitive to the performance of the other half, which is not conducive to the communication between the two people.
We often give the gentle and humble side of our lives to others, while our temper and willfulness are thrown to our children who are full of our hearts. More parents believe that children are their own possessions, and they are willing to treat them as they wish.
The impact of such a practice on the child may be a lifetime, so when parents face the child, even if the child is not as good as the parents wish, parents should try to avoid bringing negative influences to the child, through frequent reflection on their own words and deeds and behaviors, life as little as possible to bring negative emotions and temper to the child.
Disclaimer: The pictures in the text are from ins, the blogger is @kidzootd, if you also have your own unique insights in the process of educating and parenting, or encounter problems that confuse you, welcome to explore yo ~ together