Narrator: Yani (pseudonym, female, 27 years old)
This issue focuses on ——
She thought she had found a safe haven in life, but after marriage, she found that it was like a trap, and the feeling of being deceived made her collapse...
■ After getting married, I found myself cheated
The happy words in the new house are still red, and my marriage is over. Half a year ago I was a bride, but now I am divorced and single. It's all because of the man and his family, and I blame myself and my parents for being too kind and stupid. Therefore, I tell my own experience, that is, to expose the badness of some people, but also to remind the girls who are in love and preparing to get married: before marriage, we must find out the character and economic conditions of the other family, otherwise we will have to count money to others if we are deceived...
Two years ago, I introduced qin Haojingren to acquaintance, when I met, I found that he was a little short, I think it was also a side of the edge, but when eating, his thoughtfulness and carefulness impressed me, when he wanted to add WeChat, I agreed. The second time I met to watch a movie, he arrived early, took a cup of milk tea and waited, I saw that it was actually my favorite taste, and his good impression deepened. Because I have not yet established a relationship, I have not asked him about his family situation, but in the conversation, I still know that his family has newly bought a house and a car, which is naturally a plus. The third time we met, it was my birthday, and he gave me a Tiffany bracelet, more than a thousand. It made me think he was generous, so, after two months of knowing him, I became his girlfriend.
Before, my parents knew that Qin Hao was quite supportive of my interaction with him when he worked in the judicial department, but when Qin Hao said that he was only a clerk and did not have a formal establishment, they were a little hesitant, saying that they were unstable and advised me to reconsider. Qin Hao explained to my parents that although he was not a civil servant, he was also admitted through examinations, and his salary was a financial appropriation, but it was lower than that of a regular civil servant. Seeing that Qin Hao is still quite honest, plus as long as he comes to our house, he will not stop doing this and that, especially looking at the eyes, and he has special respect for my parents, so my parents have acquiesced to our relationship.
After dating for a while, Qin Hao proposed to betrothed. I am very conflicted, on the one hand, I think I can still find a better condition, after all, Qin Hao and their family's conditions are average, but on the other hand, the situation between me and our family is not very superior, in case the people I am looking for in the back are not as good as Qin Hao, regret is too late.
■ His house and car were bought with loans, even the bride price
Seeing that I hesitated, Qin Hao was better to me, picking me up every day to commute, sending gifts every three to five, although not very expensive, but I liked it. On Sunday, my mother called me over to dinner, and the enthusiasm made me embarrassed to refuse. Every time he went, his parents would cook dishes that I liked to eat, and after eating, they would let Me and Qin Hao watch TV, and the dishes and chopsticks would not be cleaned up by me. Being loved and spoiled made me feel very down-to-earth, and I thought in my heart, although Qin Hao is not very good, and his family's economic conditions are also average, but they are good to me, which is also very rare.
When I said I wanted to get engaged, my mother sighed: I don't think Qin Hao deserves you, you should find a better condition.
I said: I understand what you mean, but where can people who have money and can be good to me find? I'll do the same.
My dad said: I can't say anything about their families, anyway, my heart is not very solid...
At that time, I thought that my parents said this because I was married to them, and they didn't have face, and I was still very unhappy in my heart, so I didn't think carefully about anything else, and insisted on being engaged to Qin Hao.
When he was engaged, his family gave 88,000, which is a very high bride price for ordinary working families, my parents felt that Qin Hao and his parents were very sincere, so they bought us a full set of home appliances and furniture, and I took out a deposit certificate of 200,000 yuan before I got married.
From betrothal to marriage, it was normal and decent, and I happily became a bride. After that, my mother-in-law changed her tricks to give birth, and I originally did not want to have a child early, but I was touched by my mother-in-law and began to prepare for pregnancy. But just when I was looking forward to a better future, the nightmare suddenly came: Qin Hao's house and car were bought with loans, and even the bride price they gave me was borrowed!
■ I was in debt of seven hundred thousand when I first got married
From the first time we met Qin Hao and said that he had a house and a car to the time I knew the truth, during this period he and his parents never said that the house and car were bought with a loan, let alone revealed that the bride price was also borrowed, and my parents and I never asked about it at all, because we didn't have this string in our heads.
When he first fell in love, Qin Hao vowed that every penny he earned would be given to his wife without reservation, and in the first month after marriage, he said that the honeymoon trip cost a lot, leaving only a thousand. I was also very sad for him, not only did I not ask for it, but gave him a thousand. The next month, he gave me two thousand, said that there were three married, to return the favor, I believed, by the third month, the days of pay are over a week, he has not moved.
I jokingly said: I am married, I don't think you have less money, but you can't say it without faith.
Unexpectedly, Qin Hao said: In the future, I can only give you so much, but after repaying the loan, I promise that I will not leave half a penny.
Having said that, he went to wash the fruit casually.
I suddenly felt that something was wrong, so I ran to the kitchen and asked: What do you mean? Is this house bought with a loan?
Qin Hao had a very strange expression: "Yeah, what's wrong?"
I was stunned and didn't react for half a day. After a long time, he said: Why didn't you mention this?
Qin Hao showed an innocent look: "Honey, you never asked...
Maybe it was intuition, I asked: wouldn't a car also be bought with a loan? Qin Hao was silent for a moment and said: The car loan is interest-free.
My heart sank suddenly, and then I exploded: Why didn't you say it earlier? Why are you deceiving me? What else are you hiding from me? Divorce today if you don't tell the truth...
I had never been so out of shape, Qin Hao was frightened by my appearance, he told the truth: the houses and cars were all bought with loans, and forty thousand of the 80,000 dowries were borrowed from my uncle...
For a while I lost consciousness, and after asking the amount of the loan, I felt like I had gone to hell: the house 1.2 million loan 500,000, the car 160,000 all loans, and the loan of 40,000, such a large amount, why didn't Qin Hao and his family say it? I was saddled with 700,000 debts when I was just married, when will I be able to pay it off?
■ Unable to stand his concealment and deception, I chose to divorce
That day, I cried until I fainted, and Qin Hao was very scared and called out to his mother-in-law to come over. My mother-in-law also panicked, and quickly explained to me that the family originally had some money, but Qin Hao's father was fooled into taking it out to earn high interest, and as a result, he was cheated, so he took out a loan to buy a house and a car. She also said that in the future, she would subsidize us with two thousand yuan a month, and when we had children, they would be responsible for all the costs.
My mind was completely confused, I couldn't hear anything, and I cried and went back to my parents' house. They were dumbfounded when they heard it: How come we never thought about that aspect?
After sorting out the clues, we found that we were deceived: Qin Hao and his parents must have been premeditated, they did not say the mortgage and car loan, let me think that it was bought in full, let me think that their family conditions were OK, the bride price was given more, but also to prevent us from being suspicious...
It was too late to say anything, and I was in pain and couldn't extricate myself. Although I am not very satisfied with the economic conditions of Qin Hao's family, I am not a gold worshipper, what I value is that he and his parents are good to me, but if they are good to me behind the deception, in order to let me marry Qin Hao, this is good and bad, I think it is moral corruption.
When they first learned the truth, Qin Hao and his mother-in-law still pretended to be innocent, saying that everyone was taking out a loan to buy a house, and they thought I knew that I didn't say it. This made me even more angry, thinking that they were bullying me stupid: how to explain that the bride price was also borrowed?
In the end, I had to face reality and make a choice. But I am very entangled, if I admit it, I have to repay the loan with Qin Hao, but I don't want to bear such a heavy debt as soon as I get married, not to mention that this will directly affect our quality of life, not to mention the future will affect the cultivation of children. Mom and Dad's worries are even more: the house and car are all under Qin Hao's name, which is pre-marital property, but you have to help repay the loan, afraid that if it does not match in the future, you will not get anything. I was frightened by my parents saying this, but I really wanted to divorce, and I was worried that people were afraid of words, and I couldn't bear the pressure of divorce just after marriage...
Qin Hao repeatedly confessed his mistake and repeatedly swore that he would be good to me for the rest of his life, and said that the house would be changed to my name. But I eventually chose to divorce because I couldn't get past being "cheated" anyway.
Back to being single again, I wanted to cry without tears, I thought I had found a safe haven in life, but I didn't expect that it was a big trap for me, I was so unlucky...
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Statement: Please indicate that the reprint comes from the official WeChat of "Tiantian Weifang"
(The characters in the article are pseudonyms, and the views of the people poured out in the text do not represent the position and viewpoint of this newspaper and the author)