Dell. Carnegie loved fishing, and he said something like this:
"I love to eat cream, but I find that fish are different from me, fish like to eat bugs. So when I'm fishing, I don't think about what I'm eating, but what the fish eats. ”
In this regard, he also said: "Why can't people get along with each other like this?" ”
The meaning behind this passage is:
When we get along with others, the most important thing in order to quickly close the distance between each other and build some good feelings is not who we are, but what value we bring to others.
This principle is also important in the process of heterosexual relationship.
-01
Get along with the opposite sex, don't skimp on your "compliments"
Psychologically speaking, people are more willing to hear praise than we criticize and criticize others.
in other words:
Even if the relationship between the two of you is good, and you criticize him in public, he may hate you in his heart; but if you praise him once, he will definitely be willing to be closer to you.
Even if the other party really does something wrong, we should pay attention to our own way of expression and sense of proportion.
There is a "sandwich effect" in psychology.
When we are dissatisfied with a certain behavior of others, we can try to express the opinion in our hearts in this way.
Like what:
"You've done a good job with this, but there are still some mistakes, and I think you could have done better than been so careless, what do you think?"
At the beginning and end, give the other person praise; in the middle, mixed with your criticism.
Raise first and then suppress, express your opinion, and then praise.
Whether it is interpersonal communication or heterosexual coexistence, this method is very effective.
It can express your dissatisfaction without making the other party complain about you.
When you're chatting with the opposite sex, how do you quickly bring you closer together?
The easiest thing to do is to praise.
For example:
Saw him post a circle of friends feed, went to a trip somewhere, and took some photos.
You can say, "The photography technique is so good, I have time to ask you for advice." ”
When he takes a picture and makes a meal, don't skimp on your compliments: "It's full of color and flavor, and it looks delicious." ”
For intimate relationships, couples getting along, and the opposite sex cultivating feelings, praise is the only choice.
Your praise can often bring you unexpected results.
Because deep down in everyone's heart, they all long for the recognition of the outside world.
-02
The opposite sex gets along, to learn to provide "value satisfaction"
What is value satisfaction?
Value satisfaction includes emotional satisfaction, material satisfaction.
The so-called emotional value satisfaction is:
In the process of getting along with each other, the other party can get positive emotions from you, get comfort, and get understanding and tolerance.
One day, he was very emotional, negative energy, it was just terrible.
So he poured out all the pain in his heart to you; in the process of talking to you, you changed his mentality and let him get positive happy emotions.
This communication process is the effective satisfaction of emotional values.
contrarily:
If, instead of getting emotional satisfaction from you, he is instilled with a lot of negative energy by you, he will actively stay away from you.
So, what is material satisfaction?
It can be simply understood as:
Your presence maximizes his benefits.
You can provide him with connections, provide certain substances, provide certain benefits, and so on, and these can be called material satisfaction.
He wanted a long-cherished collection of records, and you gave him one on his birthday.
This is called value satisfaction, also called "throwing in its favor".
For love and marriage, people value "high value" attributes more.
Your high value, strong economic ability, high social status, these are your advantages.
Girls in the blind date market, want to find a rich boy to fall in love; the same reason, some boys are more concerned about the value of girls.
The relationship between people is essentially a "value exchange".
Before I met you, I was "1", and after meeting you, we created a win-win situation.
From "1" it becomes "1 + 1 = 2".
When it comes to love and marriage, people will consider this factor.
Two people together, have a good time, every day is a good mood, this is the emotional value satisfaction is high.
Together, the material conditions are very enjoyable, and this is the satisfaction of material values.
How to make the opposite sex like you?
The first step, learn to praise when communicating, the purpose is to bring you closer to each other and cultivate good feelings.
The second step is to show your own value and meet each other's value needs in the process of getting along.
Today's Topic:
Do you think it is important for couples to be happy or materially important?
(Article with picture source network)