Colleague Xiaoxia has just given birth to a child recently, and the maternity leave is about to end, and she is hesitant to resign. The reason she wants to resign is that she has seen a lot of content on the Internet that "there are many drawbacks of taking baby from generation to generation". I see that many parenting experts say that 0 to 3 years old should be accompanied by the mother. So, she began to hesitate, not knowing what to do.
In fact, this question is a question that many new mothers want to consult. The reason for this is influenced by the media on the one hand, and because new mothers care too much about their children. So, is it really all a drawback to taking a baby in the next generation? Japanese parenting expert Mingqiao sophomore pointed out that there are actually 3 benefits to taking a baby in the next generation. These three points cannot be replaced by young parents.
01
How many drawbacks does it have to take a baby from generation to generation?
Indeed, in today's information age, there are indeed drawbacks to bringing babies in alternate generations. However, it is not demonized. Some media, when promoting the generation of baby, is really a bit exaggerated. Such reports directly affect the judgment of new mothers.
For example, there is a buzzword called "silent belt baby". It is said that when the baby is taken in the next generation, it always maintains a state of "silence" and does not communicate and communicate with the baby.
There is a Mr. Zhang, after having children, because the pressure to repay the loan is relatively large. Therefore, after consulting with his wife, the husband and wife decided to find the old man with the baby. Mr. Zhang took his mother from the countryside and brought the baby for him. After his mother took it for a while, Mr. Zhang found that his mother was always in a silent state when she took the baby. Most of the time, the child is playing alone.
This way of taking the baby makes Mr. Zhang very conflicted in his heart. Because, although Mr. Zhang is not the parent of "volume". However, I don't want my children to fall too far behind. However, the mother did bring the baby very well. The baby looks white and fat, and rarely gets sick, which is related to the care of her mother.
There are actually many novice parents like Mr. Zhang. On the one hand, I feel that it is beneficial to take a baby in another generation; on the other hand, I feel that when I take a baby in another generation, many of my ideas cannot be realized.
In fact, I think there is a problem here that requires special attention from new parents. Even if you bring a baby every generation, it is not all required that grandparents or grandparents be fully responsible. As a parent, you also have to take on part of the responsibility of bringing a baby.
For example, Mr. Zhang, the mother came to the place where she was not familiar with life alone, and she herself had many places that she did not understand and had to adapt to. As Mr. Zhang, he should take the initiative to assume the responsibility of "early education". You can interact with Eva duoduo after work, instead of coming home and waiting to eat ready-made food. Looking back, I also blame my grandparents or grandparents.
With a baby in the next generation, there are indeed many undesirable. However, this does not mean that it is all a drawback, and it should not be demonized. Japanese parenting master Mingqiao, a sophomore, once pointed out: There are 3 benefits to bringing a baby in the next generation.
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The benefits of skipping generations with babies
Akihashi is a doctor himself and a well-known child psychologist in Japan. Because I have more contact with parents, I have accumulated a lot of experience in the process of communicating with my parents. With his own profession, combined with the examples encountered in life. He found that many children were in poor shape after the death of grandparents or grandparents. That said, for many children, grandparents or grandparents are actually very important.
It is based on this basis that Mingqiao's sophomore year concluded that if it is a baby in the next generation, there are 3 advantages that novice parents cannot replace.
1) Have a leisurely time---- can communicate with grandchildren and granddaughters, and support each other.
Mingqiao's sophomore year gave an example of why the next generation with a baby will have a leisurely time. Because grandparents or maternal grandparents have withdrawn from the front line of the workplace and have plenty of time. Therefore, in terms of the rhythm of life, they are connected with children.
Miao Miao especially likes to go to the vegetable garden with her grandmother, and on this day, she was in the vegetable garden with her grandmother, and suddenly found that the raspberries turned red. Miao Miao was particularly happy and told her grandmother: Raspberries have turned red! Grandma came over and looked at it and said, "Really!" On this day, Miao Miao felt particularly happy, because when she was with her grandmother, time seemed to slow down and her mood became comfortable.
Grandparents or maternal grandparents are not bound by time when they are with their children. Not like young parents, when playing with their children, they will often urge their children to go home. This process of getting along allows grandparents or maternal grandparents and children to understand each other and support each other.
2) In a sense, grandparents have no responsibility for parenting----- can accept the nature of their children.
New parents always feel that they should do more for their children, so that, in fact, invisibly, they also put forward some requirements for their children. Sometimes, parents also put some pressure on their children.
Ming ming came back from school and took a 20-point test paper. When my mother saw this test paper, she was very puzzled. Obviously, it is a very simple question, why can't children do it? While tutoring the child to do it, the mother unconsciously began to get angry. The mother's scolding made the child very stressed, and ran to the grandfather to complain: Why am I so useless? Grandpa comforted the child, at first it was like this, slowly it was better. With Grandpa's comfort, I obviously felt much better.
When the elderly are with their children, they generally accept the nature of the child. This process is to cultivate a child's sense of self-affirmation. In this way, tell the child that he is important and that he is valuable in life.
3) Let the child understand the different values.
Parents and teachers always have a uniform set of standards for their children. If the child does not meet this standard, it is easy to be denied. This kind of psychology will make children feel frustrated. However, the old man is different. Their life experience is relatively rich, and they will provide different values to their children.
Han Han is in the first grade, and the teacher often says at school that we study hard in order to become a pillar of talent. After answering home, my mother was also particularly concerned about his studies. If his grades were bad or unstable, his mother would blame him. Han Han felt a lot of pressure, fortunately met his grandfather. Grandpa told Han Han that learning is not the whole of life, he did not study much when he was a child, but he still made a lot of good friends. Grandpa's words made the child very happy and felt that Grandpa understood himself very well.
Today's changes have weakened the influence of geography. In this case, the child needs to be passed on different values. And the elderly, just can provide.
Through the introduction of Mingqiao's sophomore year, can you parents also understand. In fact, the next generation with the baby is really not useless.