In 1973, a man stood on the streets of New York, pulled out a wireless phone about the size of a brick, and began talking. This person is Martin Cooper, the inventor of the mobile phone. At the time, he was an engineer and technician at Motorola, the world's first mobile phone at the time. For the whole of 2021, data from the China Academy of Information and Communications Technology shows that the overall shipment of the domestic mobile phone market is 350.7 million units.
This is an era in which the mobile phone should scan the code before going to the hospital to give birth, buy daily necessities for the child can be paid online, and the child will be accompanied by the mobile phone as soon as the child is born, and the mobile phone and the child will be completely "separated", so that the child and the mobile phone will completely "break up", which is basically impossible and extremely undesirable.
As parents, we wonder why our children's world can't be without mobile phones. Our era does not have a mobile phone, it seems that everyone is mentally healthy, and now the children are fragile and sensitive, it must be a mobile phone problem...
1
He said I was excellent
I deserve to be loved
A 14-year-old girl sits in a chair in the counseling room and talks about her experience.
From childhood to adulthood, girls have excellent grades, are well-behaved and sensible, their parents are satisfied, and the parent-child relationship is simple and harmonious. For a while, the mother suddenly found that the child liked to play with the mobile phone, several dissuasions did not work, the results gradually declined, moving with affection, knowing the reason, good words or reprimanding threats seemed to have no way to "arouse" the child's attention, guide the child's "self-awareness", had to participate in the father, using tough means to grab the mobile phone, strict control, but the effect is still minimal.
In the mutual tugging, the parent-child relationship collapses and communication becomes tense.
The child says "it's too hard, I'm not happy with myself, I can't meet their expectations, and I don't like myself".
In 1943, psychologist Maslow proposed that people need the strength to motivate and guide their lives and behaviors from physical needs (food and clothing), the pursuit of safety (stability, security, protection), social needs (making friends, pursuing love), emotional respect (self-esteem and being respected by others), and self-actualization (having the ability or potential to fulfill one's goals or dreams).
Due to the difference in age and the rapid development of national power, children have higher emotional needs in comparison.
The girl said, "Mom and Dad will only talk to me about the details of life and academic performance, and that is not what I want, and even sometimes, when I talk about my confusion and pain, they will only think that I am 'full of food', 'little age, what so many troubles'."
The phone is my emotional outlet. There, I can see very healing copywriting, heart-warming stories, direct pictures...
A blogger posted that 'you may not be perfect, you may still be struggling and not being affirmed, but you are you, no matter what you look like, you deserve to be loved', the moment I saw this, I seemed to be embraced, and I instantly had the courage to continue to work hard. ”
2
I put on my mask
I can't take it off anymore
"I loved a teenager for 1574 days, of which 27 days were noisy, 825 days were waited, and now I don't even have the opportunity to wait."
"I didn't eat dinner, I worked overtime until a little, and when I got home, I was dizzy, so I hope that someone can see through my heart, understand my feelings, and accompany me without abandonment."
"I put on my mask and can't take it off again. That's what my junior high school stumbled upon. ”
"I often cry for hours, cry until my hands and feet are numb, and sometimes like no one else, I'm really tired, I don't want to go to class and don't want to see my roommate, I'm afraid of school, I want to take a break." 」
When you first read these words, will parents feel that this is just an adolescent child looking for trouble?
Do you feel that your child is putting his mind on learning where it is useless?
Do you think that this child would not have these negative emotions if he did not fall in love?
We have to admit that parents are not sages, not doctors, not even all-round parents, we have our own cognitive limitations, there may be negligence, so when these words or languages appear, we can not do accurate response, mobile phones may provide one more platform, a child to send a "distress" signal tool.
In addition to the child's one more medium to express emotional feelings, there are also a lot of positive information and problem-solving ways on mobile phones, such as: the official website of mental health testing, the domestic mental health mutual aid website, the psychological counseling free hotline, the China Depression Relief Association and so on.
3
I believe
I can
"You see, I'm all in the 80th level, this game is really fun", the boy who was disliked by his family looked at me expectantly.
The boy who came to the counseling room for the first time did not put down his mobile phone the whole time, and he looked like he was withered and weak. Mom and Dad said that this child has been weak and sick since childhood, and there is no semester that can be completely up and down, and now holding the mobile phone, as long as the parents have a tough attitude, the child will die and live.
The boy's mother had to marry the child's father when she was pregnant with the boy, and the sloppy wedding was not to say that the family adaptation of the two sides, the run-in of the husband and wife relationship, and the sudden change of role made the already unstable environment become turbulent.
Both in the fetal environment and after birth, boys spend time in family quarrels.
Since I can remember, children have been the outlet for all adults to vent their dissatisfaction. Frail and sickly, Grandma said that she was like Mom, too squeamish; bad grades, Grandma said that she inherited her father's genes; in life, Mom would say that children were as stupid and lazy as Dad...
Neither genetic inheritance nor physical status seems to be something that a child can decide, and no matter how hard he tries, helplessness spreads when nothing gets better.
The child said, "I can lead other people to achieve results in the game, and I can still be useful, right?" "The game is lost this time, I can start the next one right away, no one thinks I'm a burden, right?" "I have a lot of opportunities, I believe, I can."
Someone once compared that the child's psychological world is like a house, which has a lot of pillars to support, and the mobile phone may be a "rotten" pillar, but if this "house" is supported by this pillar, the pillar falls, and the house collapses.
At a certain necessary moment, the mobile phone will support the child's self-confidence and self-esteem, so that the child feels that I can at a certain moment.
In fact, parents prevent their children from playing mobile phones, mainly because there are many worries, such as worrying about children's vision, worrying about affecting children's learning, worrying about children falling into certain network traps... To make your phone a tool and learning tool for your child, you can try to make some changes from the following aspects:
1. Parents lead by example
If you don't want your child to look at the phone, first grasp from the source, parents take the lead not to look at the phone, so that the child has no chance to contact, in addition, you can tell the child the harm of using the mobile phone, let the child learn to judge rationally, know the parents' attitude towards the mobile phone.
2. Control time
Parents need to pay attention not only to the amount of digital media their children use, but also to the time, place and way of using it.
For children between the ages of 2 and 5, the use of digital media should not exceed 1 hour per day, and it should be a high-quality program that should be watched, or a program that some parents and children can participate in together.
The National Health Commission stipulates that after enrollment, the teaching time of electronic products used in schools should not exceed 30% of the total teaching time in principle. The use of electronic products for non-learning purposes should not exceed 15 minutes at a time, and the cumulative total number of hours per day should not exceed 1 hour.
Reasonably control the use time of mobile phones, change congestion into slackness, parents play a supervisory role, or look at mobile phones with their children, help children choose appropriate content, and learn and grow together.
3. Spend more time with your children
Young children look at mobile phones mostly parents do not have time to accompany, give children a mobile phone, children do not cry, do not make trouble, enjoy themselves, if there are parents to accompany, children may not like to look at mobile phones. I believe that as long as parents are willing to put down their mobile phones and immerse themselves in accompanying their children, children will not be obsessed with mobile phones.
The mobile phone is not a flood beast, it is just a very ordinary daily necessities and tools in life. It, like all objects, has its usefulness, has its unknown risks, and it becomes important to look at it in two. Parents should see the full picture of their mobile phone before controlling their child's mobile phone.
Whether it is parents or children, we cannot waste food because of choking, we cannot hide our illness and avoid medical treatment, blindfold ourselves, and we cannot walk out of a colorful life.
END