The 12 requirements written by a 14-year-old daughter to her mother deserve every parent's deep consideration.

Children of different ages have different psychological characteristics, and as children grow, parents must learn to let go appropriately.

Here are 12 "requirements" written by a 14-year-old girl to her mom that allows us to read their hearts from the child's point of view.

1, I need help, but also need to be independent, even if you can do everything for me, please leave it to me to do.

When the child is young, the mother helps to feed the food; when the child wears shoes, the mother helps tie the shoelaces; when the child goes to school, the mother helps collect the school bag...

Yes, we are parents, we want to help the child, but the child also needs to be independent, he must learn how to take care of himself, how to arrange his life and study, which is the basic condition for him to live independently in the future.

A 70-point mom is a successful mom, don't do everything for your child, don't be a full-time babysitter for your child.

2) Please allow me to make some mistakes, even if you remind me beforehand.

Children make mistakes, in fact, they are learning, they are growing, parents should not allow their children to make mistakes because they are afraid of trouble!

When a child makes a mistake, remember, no matter how angry and annoyed you are, you must try to restrain your emotions and do not label the child randomly, such as "bad boy" and "troublemaker"...

When we and the child are at peace, and then communicate with the child, you will have a deeper understanding of the child's mental journey of making mistakes, and you can take the opportunity to guide the child to understand the world and lead the child to grow up.

3) Please don't force me to live according to your model.

We as parents are accustomed to imposing our will on our children, and think that this is good for the child, a manifestation of loving him.

Although the child will do what we say, he is often reluctant in his heart, which will cause a gap in the parent-child relationship.

As the child's self-esteem grows stronger, the child will rebel more intensely, and slowly, he will become more rebellious and difficult to discipline.

Each child is unique, with their own habits and ideas, parents should give their children the space to grow freely.

4. Please consciously protect my self-esteem and privacy.

Many parents never care about their children's self-esteem and privacy, often scolding their children in public, or publicizing their children's privacy as a joke, so that their children have no face.

Such children tend to feel inferior and lose self-motivation.

Children are also independent individuals with their self-esteem and right to privacy, and parents should not ignore this because their children are young.

5) If you want to be my friend, you have to put down your parents' shelf.

Parents often put themselves in a higher position than their children, holding the shelf of "authority", always ready to discover their children's mistakes, and ear orders for him to correct.

In such a state of mind, how can a child share joy and sorrow with you as a friend, and how can he tell you his little secret?

Put down the shelf and communicate with the child with an equal attitude, the child will like it more.

6, please do not take me as your outlet.

Parents will always be under all kinds of pressure, work, life, and there is no way to vent to others at any time.

At this time, young children will often be affected, a little mistake is magnified by a stomach of parents, find a scolding or even a beating, how innocent the child is!

Parents should deal with their emotions when facing their children, and do not bring some bad emotions in work and life to the family.

7, please do not always hit me with "other people's children".

Setting an example for children is to motivate children to progress, but if you always emphasize how good other people's children are, children will feel that they are denied and criticized.

Then it is easy to produce anger and inferiority, and deliberately oppose parents.

Encourage children more, explore the advantages of children, do not always compare with others, each child's situation is different.

8, more advice, less command.

The tone of the command will make the child feel oppressive, but also let the child lose his opinion, give more advice to the child, the child will learn to think on his own, and it is also conducive to communication between parents and children.

9) Please don't tell me for the 101st time what to do about something.

No matter what the child does, they always like to tell the child what to do, how to do it, how not to do it...

But children tend to be disgusted by this kind of preaching, and they think that their parents don't understand them and that their emotions will be worse.

Such parents can easily make children want to flee, rebel, and seriously affect the parent-child relationship.

Mom and Dad, please believe in your children and give them the opportunity to try independently.

10, I will not only learn the knowledge taught in the school, but also learn what you show, including your bad habits.

This illustrates the importance of "teaching by example", in which children not only imitate what their parents say, but also learn the qualities that their parents exhibit.

Therefore, to educate children well, parents should first improve themselves, change bad problems, and set a good example for their children.

11. Please pay attention to my opinion.

Children's words are often not valued by parents, "Children know what, don't talk nonsense!" "The child will be depressed, the self-confidence will be hit,

Over time, I am reluctant to express my opinion.

But in fact, we should expect more children to express their opinions, so that children can think, have ideas, and will not blindly follow the opinions of others.

12 Because I am a daisy, please don't let me blossom in the summer; because I am a poplar, please don't expect to pluck pine seeds from me.

Children can't grow up 100 percent the way you want them to be, and we can't make kids the way we want them to be.

From birth, the child is an independent individual with his own ideas and choices, and has no obligation to "blossom in the summer" or "pluck pine seeds".

All we can do is give him good education and love for more than ten years, and then watch him leave us and live his own life.