01
"Don't give up if you don't have a son, no matter how good your daughter is, no matter how good your son is"!
From the beginning of the marriage urging, to the later birth, it seems that some people have been living their lives according to the ideas of others.
In the countryside, I often hear people say that whoever has a daughter has a daughter, and whose third family is a daughter.
If you have two daughters, you will have three children when you meet relatives: "In two years, you will have another child"!
But who can say that it is definitely a boy who is pregnant? What if it's not a boy? Do you still have to be born? Is the meaning of marriage to have children?
Regardless of boys and girls, they are the continuation of life, and it is okay to have a few children with conditions, but it is difficult for ordinary families to raise a child, and now unlike the older generation, they can raise children freely, and now they have to raise children.
From milk powder at birth to tuition at school, what can't be supported by money? The first three years of the child need to be cared for by the mother, and the mother who takes care of the child is really very hard.
As soon as the child is born, he will coax the child day and night, and he will not be able to sleep for several months, and he will be forced to become a full-time mother who is on standby 24 hours a day.
The child is well taken care of, as a mother, it should be divided, but any child with a headache and brain fever will blame the mother.
The most difficult thing for women is to take children for those years, always eat cold meals, hold urine, coax babies late at night, and fall ill.
A light and fluttering sentence "Want another one, the child is old and blessed", it is easy to say, do you pay or contribute? If not, then learn to shut up!
Of course, there are also people who put pressure on themselves to want a son, and they don't stop if they don't have a son! Whether it is because of the urging of the elders, or because they want both children, they cannot treat their daughters poorly because they have sons.
In the countryside, there are many people who "prefer sons to daughters", although there are fewer and fewer people who prefer sons to daughters, but the deep-rooted thinking will not change completely.
02
Li Cuiling is a middle-aged woman in her 40s, there are two daughters in the family, but she has always wanted a son, both daughters have gone to school, she was pregnant several times in her 30s, a check B ultrasound is a girl and beat up, a total of four times hit the child.
The miscarriage hurt the body very much, and the doctor also advised her not to want it when she was older, how good it was to have two daughters, and enjoy the happiness of getting old, but she did not listen, or continued to "fight for her son", and finally conceived a son as she wished when she was in her 40s.
This can make Li Cuiling and his wife happy badly, the husband Zhuo Wei tried his best to serve his pregnant wife, because he was a little older, so he had to be careful at all times.
Because of her pregnancy, Li Cuiling raised a fetus at home all day and truly lived a ten-month queen life.
Zhuo Wei said: "It is almost the end of the day, or it is safer to be directly hospitalized." ”
Li Cuiping also agreed: this child is like a baby bump, but there can be no slightest mistake!
Because she was older, she had to choose a caesarean section, and the operation went smoothly, although there was a very obvious scar on her stomach, but she got her wish and gave birth to a big fat boy.
As the days go by, the children are slowly growing up, and Li Cuiling usually always educates the sisters: the younger brother is still young, you must let him! But whatever their son wants, Zhuo Wei and his wife are satisfied, and they also take care of the bottom when they do the wrong thing.
Such blind doting eventually raised his son Ah Niu into a idle and loser.
Habits are like killing children!
Growing up, Ah Niu would only ask his parents for money every day, and would not look for a job, he would only nibble on the old man, and mix with the scoundrels every day, but even if he saw his son so uncontentious, Li Cuiling still blindly connived.
She always felt that her son was still young, and she would understand things when she got married and started a family later.
After a long time, the family's savings have been squandered, and the old two were dumbfounded, and now they can only tear down the east wall to make up for the west wall, so they extended their claws to the two daughters.
Every time the two daughters returned to their mother's home, Li Cuiling wanted to start trying to find ways to ask for money, and the two daughters thought that their mother wanted money to spend, so they gave it every time.
After a long time, the two daughters realized that something was wrong, and later learned that all their money had been paid to their younger brother.
The sons-in-law are reluctant, the family's money is getting less and less, the daughter-in-law is always supplementing the mother's family, so she always quarrels, and over time the contradictions are more and more.
Under the pressure of family conflicts, the two daughters felt that they could still focus on the small family when they got married, and they could not always take money to supplement their brothers, so the two sisters discussed not to return to their mother's house recently.
However, Li Cuiling did not give up, took the initiative to come to her daughter's house to ask for money to spend, and without giving money, she broke her mouth and scolded in her daughter's home, and the neighbors often heard quarrels, which completely angered the two daughters.
Both daughters pressed the monitor at the door of the house, as long as Li Cuiling came, they would sound an alarm, and then they would quickly lock the door and prevent Li Cuiling from entering the house, so as not to cause a family war again.
Li Cuiling ate the closed door soup several times, and then stopped walking to her daughter's house, but often called them to go home, but they did not dare to go back.
Li Cuiling is getting older, looking at her indisputable son who only knows how to ask for money, she has no ability to rely on herself, she has some remorse, she should not blindly spoil the child, but it is already too late.
At the age when it was time to start a family, Ah Niu could not marry his daughter-in-law for a long time, first, because of his poor character, and second, because the family had no savings.
Now the two daughters are one who does not dare to go back, afraid that her mother will reach out for money again; one is unable to go back, the brother's bottomless pit, how much money is not enough.
If you know today, why did you know it in the first place?
Li Cuiling is now too late to regret it, but there is no regret medicine in the world.
03
From this story I draw two points
First: To help brothers and sisters, we must follow the principle of saving the emergency and not saving the poor.
Now there is a popular saying: they are all about the same age, can I have what you don't have? Especially the matter of borrowing money, it should generally follow the principle of saving the emergency and not saving the poor.
Others borrow money to buy a house and a car, and all the money they earn is subsidized to others, and in the end they have nothing.
For the matter of "borrowing money", there are borrowed and repaid, and it is not difficult to borrow again, some people say it well before borrowing money, but when they wait to repay the money on the day of repayment, they have become "uncles", and it is more difficult to get money than to ascend to the sky.
Can't always collect money, urge urgently, but will become their own stinginess, they lent out the money and fell into a bad reputation of "pounding and calculating".
If there is an emergency, borrow money to treat the disease, as a friend and relative, it is natural to lend a helping hand.
People like Ah Niu, who has a bad track record, cannot open the exit of borrowing money, and cannot borrow it once, and if he lends it out, he will be adrift, and he must not borrow it!
Now there are many sisters of "brother support demons" who subsidize all the savings of their small families to their younger brothers, causing many unnecessary family conflicts and eventually making the small family fragmented.
As an older sister, you can help your younger brother, but you have to know how to score inches.
Second: Unreasonable requirements for the original family should be rejected at the right time.
In the text, Li Cuiling's two daughters know how to stop losses in time and refuse unreasonable requests in a timely manner, so as not to cause very serious consequences.
If you don't stop the loss in time, will you end up breaking up the small family?
Everyone has a life value, and Li Cuiling's two daughters have not become "brother demons" under the influence of their mother, which is a fortunate thing.
If the values of life are distorted, it will not only have a negative impact on people's thoughts, but also make a mess of life.
No one can choose the original family, but they can choose what kind of marriage they want to live, and what kind of children they want their children to become.
We all know that a child is a blank slate and that parents are the child's first teachers.
It is especially important to have a sound-thinking parent who can transmit to their children the correct outlook on life, values, and worldview.
You raise me big, I raise you old! Providing for the elderly for parents is the responsibility of every child, but for such blindly eccentric parents, they only know how to loot their children's hard-earned money, and as children, they have the right to refuse such unreasonable demands!
Filial piety is not blindly giving, under the premise of being able to maintain a normal life, to give help to the greatest extent, worthy of their own conscience can be.
Author No pen