Wen | Cheats Jun
We often hear the phrase "Child, I have to put down you when I lift the brick, and I can't move the brick when I pick it up."
These words speak of the heartache of the working parents, and fill our hearts with pity and heartache for their children, the left-behind children who stay in the countryside and live in the grandparents.
Especially now that the Spring Festival is almost over, it is easy for parents who are working outside to go home for the New Year, and they have to go out one after another, and the children at home should be more reluctant! Watching children cry and give up after their parents leave, who doesn't have sore eyes?
However, although the left-behind children after the Spring Festival are distressing, another type of children need more attention than them, but they are often ignored. That is the "reflow" of children.
◆ What is a "reflux" child?
"Returning" children refer to the experience of living and even studying in the city with their parents, but later returning from the city to their rural hometown for various reasons.
Some of these returning children return to their hometowns, but come back with their parents, of course, there are more separated from their parents, and they live with their grandparents in their hometowns.
Such children will encounter more problems in their learning and life than left-behind children, but they are often ignored.
◆ What are the problems faced by "reflux" children?
In 2020, in the "Blue Book of Migrant Children: Report on the Educational Development of Migrant Children in China", there are relevant studies on "returning children". The report said that returning children have a 60% risk of depression compared with non-returning children, and they are also more vulnerable to school bullying and have more serious emotional problems.
The reason is that after staying in the city for a long time, I can't integrate into my rural hometown and am easily excluded and isolated by my peers.
The first is the language barrier. Children in elementary school are easily xenophobic, fat, or different from the dialect they speak, and they are easily considered outliers and excluded.
To take a very simple example, when I was in elementary school, almost all the children in the village had the same surname, and they were all Han Chinese. But there was a little boy in the class, because his surname was different from ours, and he heard that he was Hui, he was called "WailuBanzi" by his classmates. Some classmates would also turn out his homework notebooks and smear his name. What's more, he will joke about his taboo of "not eating pork".
You know, he's not an outsider, his parents have been living with us for many years, and the children are still treated that way. It is conceivable that when a child who does not speak the local dialect "falls from the sky" into the class, and behaves and does things differently from the children in the class, how strong the rejection of the classmates will be.
Other problems faced by "returning children", such as the lack of parental companionship and the lack of emotional warmth, are the same as those of left-behind children.
◆ How to help "returning" children integrate faster?
I recommend that parents give their children some time to adjust before they are ready to return home. For example, the two parents began to speak the local dialect at home, so that the child could listen to it with a sense of intimacy, and it was best to learn it. In this way, once the language is understood, the child's possibility of being isolated among his peers is greatly reduced.
In addition, if you want to help your child adapt to the new environment faster, it is best to find friends for your child as an entry point. Friends are the best way to help children overcome loneliness and integrate into the group. If the child's classmates are closer to their home, parents can first create conditions to invite classmates to come to the home, so that children can get acquainted with their classmates on weekends and holidays.
As long as the child makes the first friend in the class or locally, it is easier to make the second and third friend, and it will be better adapted to the environment.
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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