Introduction: Only as a parent can you deeply understand that the road of educating your children is not easy to take, no matter how well you work, whether you are a social elite or a successful person, as a parent, you have a time to fail in educating your children. Communicating with children who do not play cards according to common sense and are mentally immature has to be asked by the university, and a casual sentence from the parents may affect him, and the gap between the children will be formed in the parents' intentional and unconscious.
In the "My Girl" variety show, Fu Yuanhui's father's education method was brushed, and Fu Yuanhui's father shared that his daughter had just entered the provincial swimming team.
At that time, he was still young, and once he went to visit his daughter, a team member said, "Your child always says that she is a genius, and whoever says that she is a genius." Unexpectedly, Fu Dad simply replied, "Yes, she is indeed a genius."
Fu Yuanhui has often received encouragement and affirmation from her parents since she was a child, and Fu's father often said to his daughter, "You are the best, you are the best, you are a genius." This positive encouragement gave Fu Yuanhui great self-confidence, and these self-confidences also turned into unlimited strength on the field.
01, the psychological cues of parents can not be ignored
Psychologist Pavlov once proposed that suggestion is a hypothesis affirmed by subjective will, which may not be based on evidence, but the human heart will try to tend to the content of the hypothesis, which is the simplest and most basic conditioned reflex of man.
When educating children, the suggestive power of parents cannot be ignored, which can bring confidence to children or bring destruction.
American psychologist Rosenta once went to an ordinary middle school, marked the names of several classmates in a class student list, and then told the teacher that "these children are very smart and high iq." After some time Rosenta came to the school again, it was learned that the students he had chosen had all become the top of the class.
Rosenta just walked around the classroom at that time, randomly selected a few names, and the teacher did not know, he got this information, gave these students high expectations and positive evaluations. The teacher's behavior also gives students positive psychological hints, and they are confident and motivated to achieve excellent results later.
The child is highly malleable, positive hints make him work in a better direction, negative hints make him subconsciously self-deny.
It is not difficult for children to become excellent, adults want to become more excellent, but also use inspirational words to cheer themselves up, and like a blank piece of paper, who cheers for him? Nature is parents. Smart parents use encouraging language to give positive psychological cues, while some parents' unobtrusive hints make their children lose all negative confidence.
02, a parent's "you will not" is enough to destroy the child
There was once a mother who deeply experienced that when her son was playing with toys and trying to disassemble toys, her mother would stop "you won't, you can't fit it." The child wants to take the water by herself, but the mother says "you will not, will spill", when the child wants to help the mother wash the dishes she said "you will not", again and again "you will not" let the child lose the opportunity to try, and finally really nothing, independent ability is very poor.
Every time the child plays from childhood, the first time he does everything is to try, it is to learn, if the parents often use a sentence of "you will not", blocking the child's opportunity to learn, but also discouraging his enthusiasm. At the same time, the child's psychology gets negative hints, and eventually loses curiosity about everything, lacks the courage to try, and instinctively escapes when encountering difficulties.
"You won't" is like a spell that binds the child to eventually be destroyed, and the smart parent will be merciful and will not give the child negative psychological cues.
03, smart parents replace "you won't" with "give it a try"
A Thai short film called "Bean Sprouts" was based on real events, and a little girl saw that bean sprouts in the wet market were particularly popular, so she also wanted to grow bean sprouts, and her mother said, "Try it."
At first, it ended in failure, but my mother found a book to discuss learning with the little girl and decided to change her approach. The little girl flinched a little, and her mother said" "Give it a try", and after several attempts, the bean sprouts finally grew.
In the short film, the prototype of the little girl, who grew up in reality to become a doctor of biology engaged in research, said that when she was a child, her mother's sentence "try it" was like a special nutrition agent, which irrigated my confidence in exploration.
Every excellent child is not born out of nowhere, the process of growing up has failures and confusion, and the attitude of parents largely determines whether the child will face the difficulties or stop moving forward. A negative psychological hint of "you will not" makes the child lose confidence, a sentence of "try it" will give him unlimited motivation, the child will become as good as you hope, and the results of life will be very different.
epilogue:
It is inevitable to encounter setbacks and difficulties on the road of children's growth, and the words of encouragement and the eyes of affirmation of parents can make him confident and courageous to overcome difficulties. On the contrary, the parents inadvertently say "you will not" to make the child withdraw the hand that is out to try, and may no longer have the courage to reach out, nor the confidence to try, miss the opportunity to grow, and success may also slip away from the side.
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