My friend's house lives on the 2nd floor, and he has a cat at home, and if he makes a mistake, he will be thrown downstairs. One day I went to his house to play, and the cat accidentally touched the Coke on the table. So he turned his head and looked pitifully

My friend's house lives on the 2nd floor, and he has a cat at home, and if he makes a mistake, he will be thrown downstairs. One day I went to his house to play, and the cat accidentally touched the Coke on the table. So he turned his head, looked pitifully at his friend, tilted his head, and jumped from the second floor.

2, today and girlfriend to play in the haunted house, feel too terrible, girlfriend timid was scared to cry, makeup are crying... I quickly took her hand and ran out. As soon as I went out to lean in, I heard a little friend shouting: "Mother look, that uncle led the ghost out..."

3, the sister-in-law wants to come to my house, I immediately went downstairs, to the market to buy the sister-in-law's favorite dishes. After buying cucumber eggplant, I wanted to buy some meat, and I saw a child helping the adults watch the chicken stall. I asked the children, "How much does a chicken cost?" The child replied, "$26." I asked, "How much is it to buy two chickens?" The child was stunned for a moment, and could not answer for a while, and said to me in a hurry: "You can only buy one at a time." "I...

4. In the past, when a child helped the grandmother cross the road, the grandmother asked, "What is your name, little friend?" The child replied: "If you don't leave a name for doing good deeds, you will call me a red scarf!" Now, when the children help the grandmother cross the road, the red scarf falls off, and the grandmother picks up the red scarf and shouts to the child: "Little friend, your red scarf!" The child turned back and said, "Porphyry, it's your red scarf."

5, yesterday the sister-in-law was severely criticized by the kindergarten teacher, the reason is that the little niece secretly filled a bottle of red wine with a black tea bottle, took it to the kindergarten, and said that it was brown sugar water with the small pot friend, which led to three small pot friends drinking too much, one was sleeping, one was like a chicken blood, the whole house was shouting and scurrying, and there was a chasing teacher to sleep with him...

6, said that there is a college girl, broke up with her boyfriend, said: "I found a boyfriend from the sports department again, we have a year of dating, you have to give me 2K yuan youth loss fee." The boy was afraid of his "new boyfriend in the sports department" and wanted to find a way to vent his anger. On the day of handing over the money, the girl and the new boyfriend came to the scene, the ex-boyfriend brought 10 boys, each came over to give the girl two hundred yuan, after three or four the girl cried badly, and the new boyfriend also shared.

7, Valentine's Day a roommate and his boyfriend went out all day, the next day came back a little hoarse. I asked, "Got a cold?" A housemate: "Must have shouted dumb yesterday" The other housemate was even more desperate: "Obviously, the tonsils are swollen." “

8, my family bought a car last year, recently looked at the Internet said that the car can not be borrowed. But when my friend said he was going to use my car, I never refused, and sometimes it's hard to think about. Yesterday another friend came to borrow a car, and this time I told him that I would not borrow it, and the car broke. He said: You can pull it down, I saw you riding the day before yesterday, and when I went uphill, I still stood up and pedaled!

9. In the afternoon, I asked a few buddies to go to dinner. The hall was full, and when the waiter was led to a private room and ready to order, she said loudly: "The minimum consumption here is 2,000 yuan!" At this time, a friend asked: "How much is a plate of home-cooked tofu?" "$18." "Okay, here's 120 plates!" Waiter out. After a while, the hotel manager came in, smiled and said, "You can do whatever you want, as much as you want, there is no limit!!!!! ”

10, once went to dinner with a few buddies. The hall was full, and when the waiter was led to a private room and ready to order, she said loudly: "The minimum consumption here is 2,000 yuan!" At this time, a friend asked: "How much is a plate of home-cooked tofu?" "$18." "Okay, here's 120 plates!" Waiter out. After a while, the hotel manager came in, smiled and said, "You are free to do as you please, as much as you want, there is no limit!" ”。。。。。

1 My boyfriend and I met at a bar, and my boyfriend didn't like that his parents always took care of him, so he kept renting a house outside. Today was the first time I went to my boyfriend's house, and his parents saw it and didn't agree with my boyfriend to associate with me. I thought that my figure and face were still outstanding, and I asked unconvincedly: "Auntie, why?" What's wrong with me! The boyfriend's mother pointed at the boyfriend and said, "You see, my son is skinny!" (Source: Network) Comment: I don't intend to be different, how to be tasteful.

12, the brother-in-law and the rich second generation girlfriend quarrel to break up, the girlfriend packed up things deliberately made a noise, and finally shouted: "I am really gone?" The brother-in-law pretended not to care and continued to play LOL, and also signaled his girlfriend not to leave things behind, and the girlfriend said: "I was really blind!" She slammed the door crying. The brother-in-law threw down his mobile phone and stiffened to the window. Looking at her distant back, she burst into tears: "If I'm good enough, I won't let you go." After the girlfriend left, the not-so-large room seemed much empty, a person, a table, a chair, a computer, and the 1,000,000 yuan breakup fee given by her father in the corner.

13, since junior high school, they have been classmates, the summer of college graduation, the boy finally confessed. The girl asked: How many ex-girlfriends do you really have? Boy: We've always been in the same class, do I have a girlfriend, don't you know? Girl: Who knows you're out there, you're honest, I'm not angry! Boy: I have four ex-girlfriends, and you know them, you cry, you who can't guess the problem, you who are sentimental, and you who are at the same table. Girl: I've known you for so many years, I didn't expect your mouth to be so sweet!

14, the eleventh holiday at home at 1 o'clock at noon has not eaten! So I went to shaxian snack next door to pack thousands of wontons for dinner, met a good friend, and had to pretend not to see each other in embarrassment. After all, they are all people with a circle of friends, and he should be in the Maldives during Golden Week, while I am in Bali... Haematemesis...