The 45-year-old mother-in-law was pregnant again, but the father-in-law was still on a business trip abroad, so he had to let me accompany her to the obstetric examination. After the examination, the mother-in-law asked the doctor: Doctor, since I am pregnant, I am special

The 45-year-old mother-in-law was pregnant again, but the father-in-law was still on a business trip abroad, so he had to let me accompany her to the obstetric examination. After the examination, the mother-in-law asked the doctor: Doctor, since I became pregnant, I especially like to smell the smell of gasoline, am I sick? I was shocked, but I didn't expect the doctor to say: It's okay, yesterday a pregnant woman told me that since I became pregnant, I especially like to smell her husband's slippers, and I slept with her husband's slippers all day!

2. Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

3. Go to work to work on the road met the buddy next door, he also went to work. I watched my buddies nibble on carrots as they walked, and I was curious and asked him why he ate this. The buddy said, "I don't understand, eat it, when the meeting starts, you can leave early!" Looking at me with a puzzled look, the brother explained: "Our section chief said that when the meeting is held, you have something to leave, I can understand, but at least you have to fart!" ”

4. My girlfriend used to be a couple with my driver, and I gave him half a million before giving her to me. Not long ago, my girlfriend reconciled with the driver again, and directly kicked me, and the people and money were empty. After my parents knew, they immediately sent me a card number of ICBC, and I was moved to cry! When I called my father and said that I had enough money, my father hesitated for a moment and said: No, your mother asked me to tell you that you put the unspent money in your hand in this card.

5. Accidentally fell asleep in the movie theater and woke up to find his head resting on the uncle next to him. When I woke up and realized that it was too late to go home, I stood up and said, "Oops! ah! Mom will definitely kill me! I was anxious and said to the uncle, "You man, why don't you remind me!" The uncle said, "Girl, your unreasonable strength is really like my mother!" ”

 6. There is an old single stick in the village, who has not yet married his daughter-in-law in his 40s, and bought a two-color plant a few days ago to ask for a grand prize of 26.9 million yuan. After receiving the award, he was very happy and immediately asked a beautiful stewardess to go out to dinner. After eating, the old single stick took the flight attendant to a five-star hotel, and after completing the housing formalities, the waiter sister took him to a room. As soon as he entered the door, the old single stick shouted, "You think I'm stupid?" A room like this costs 100,000 a night? There are no cabinets or even windows inside! The waiter girl hurriedly explained: "Sir please come in, this is the elevator!" ”

7. When I was working summer vacation, I found that the little girl we came with had a big hotel at home, and the part-time job was because his father let her experience life. After knowing that, I struggled for 20 years to be less, and I frantically pursued the little girl. On Sunday, we watched a movie together, and when I came out of the movie theater I asked her how she was impressed with me. The girl replied frankly, "No feelings! "The next night, I invited her to eat Western food, and we talked very happily during the meal, and after eating, we sent her home. On the way I asked, "Should I feel a little bit today?" The girl thought for a moment and said, "Yes, I have eaten very well!" ”

8. Recently my company's earnings have been booming, I have found the target, the big guys have worked together to complete this month's performance, and the earnings are much more than previously thought. To reward the employees, I gave one of them a week off. I took my wife and son to Inner Mongolia on a self-driving tour to relax and take a border herder that I raised at home. Looking at the vast grassland, the mood was very good, I untied the rope of the border pasture and said: "It is usually stuffy at home, and I have to let it enjoy the grassland scenery." "After a while, he ran without a trace. On the way back, I said with some sadness: "I feel that we are not here for tourism." The wife asked, "Then why did we come?" Me: "Let's release..."

9. Not long ago, my Bentley was rear-ended by a Wuling and put in the 4S shop for repair, so I had to take the bus to work. In the car, I saw a goddess-level girl standing in front of the ticket machine to pick up her bag, and did not come up with money for half a day. I saw that this was an opportunity, and I planned to go up and help her vote, and I would talk by the way. The goddess said to the driver: I only have 4 cents on me. I was so excited in my heart that I just stood up and the driver said: It's okay, get in the car first.

10. Her aunt was hospitalized in the hospital for treatment for a while, and now that she is finally well, her cousin has completed the discharge procedures for her. Her aunt's friends invited her to play mahjong and left on her own. The doctor called his cousin and said to his cousin that he had come to go through the formalities and clean up, and the person had already left. After the cousin listened, she immediately cried and called her cousin to say that the doctor called and said that she asked her cousin to go through the formalities and clean up, and the person had already left. Just like that, the cousin and the cousin-in-law went straight to the hospital crying...

11. Once on a weekend, a woman and a girlfriend were chatting together. Girlfriend: "How do you look up to your husband, you don't deserve it at all, you have no money, and you look ugly." A woman: "On the day of the blind date, an old lady next to me fell." Without even thinking about it, he got up on his back and ran to the hospital. When I came back, I asked him if he was not afraid of being relied on? He said what should be done. At that time, I thought that such a kind person is too rare. Girlfriend: "Oh, it's rare, what happened to the old lady later?" A woman: "How?" I'm my mother-in-law...

12. I bought a big bag of oranges this morning, which is sweet and sweet. When I came back from work in the afternoon, my girlfriend brought me a cup of orange juice and said that my mother had worked hard all day. I was touched that my child had grown up and knew how to take care of his mother. Touched and delighted, I drank the cup of orange juice, but it tasted strange. I asked my girlfriend how she did it, and she said, "I put the orange in the basin and stepped on it with my feet." ”