Everyone who hates their parents has had three "desperate" experiences The more they learn about psychology, the more they may hate their parents, and many articles on the Internet about their original families have made people begin to reflect on their origins

Everyone who hates their parents has had three "desperate" experiences

The more you learn psychology, the more you may hate your parents, and many articles about your original family on the Internet make people begin to reflect on their original family, but introspection does not mean hatred.

In fact, a person's psychological disorders are indeed the most accurate from the family analysis, and people who are too mentally healthy may be unremarkable in their lives, and it is precisely because they have heart knots that they strive to live and achieve self-realization in life.

Beijing has randomly sampled the psychological conditions of 3,000 middle school students to investigate their attitudes towards their parents, and finally the data showed that only 4.75% of them said they liked their parents, while nearly 56.28% chose the result of being extremely disgusted or hated their parents. This data is heart-wrenching and worth reflecting on.

There are two sides to a coin, some people can sublimate and some people have stepped into the abyss, which may be related to the despair that a person experienced in childhood, related to the way parents take care of them, and the psychological trauma suffered in the face of physical and mental immaturity may take a lifetime to heal.

In fact, it is very normal to be dissatisfied with their parents, so why do some people hate their parents so much? Is it normal? To some extent, the painful experience of the original family does breed extreme thoughts, so this is also a normal psychology.

How the psychology of hatred arises, from a psychological point of view, is always because of love and hate, love is the premise of hatred, when an intimate relationship is destroyed, the individual will have hatred for the destroyer.

There is a famous saying: There is no hatred on earth, but people hate because of love; there is no anger at all in hell, only a mocked baby.

From the perspective of human nature, when a person's value, freedom, and life are deprived, hatred breeds. According to the above analysis, there are three situations in which children hate their parents far more than they love

Suffered parental abuse and beatings

This category is one of the most horrific experiences, and almost every child's life is threatened. The physical and mental damage to children who have been abused and beaten by their parents is almost irreversible.

According to common sense, children should hate and want to stay away from their parents, but in most cases children who grow up abused cannot realize this, and their inner conflict and anger are always directed at themselves – extreme inferiority and fear.

Because parents mean survival for children, children who are abused must grow up in this environment of survival and "love", they will not stop loving their parents, but they will never stop loving themselves.

Only a very small number of children can perceive themselves, be born again, realize the "evil" of human nature in which their parents are born, and face up to their hatred for their parents without fear of the world's gaze.

Parents often gamble and drink heavily

Such parents can never set an example in the hearts of their children, children cannot form value identities with their parents and internalize them into their hearts, and they cannot establish pillars of inner strength.

Some parents know that they are rotten people, but they quietly love their children, but this love is also alienated, the children can not feel it at all, and the final result can only be hate.

Parental control is too strong

This category is the most common, and the love of parents is invisibly mixed with threats, depriving children of their freedom. Chinese-style parents strive to help their children realize the value of life, but they are most likely to deprive them of what they are most likely to deprive them of – their children's spiritual freedom. We are divided into the following categories from light to heavy

1. The first category feels free

Parents often impose their own will on their children, the simplest meal must be eaten, it is cold, you must wear very thick clothes, even if the child is very hot, this kind of "mother thinks you are cold" joke is often spread to the Internet, in this part, many children are still very tolerant.

A little too much, parents also impose their own hobbies and dislikes on their children, and the things they hate and people are not allowed to be liked by children.

When the child shows the emotions of crying and fear, the parents adopt a restraining attitude and do not allow the child to vent their emotions, especially the neglect of the last emotion, which may also have a lifelong impact on the child.

2. The second type of personality freedom

The child has her own hobbies, such as she likes to dance, but the parents say what is the use of dancing? Waste of energy, it is better to learn the incense of finance.

First-time parents may not know how to educate their children, but hobbies cannot be deprived of such things under any circumstances, because what they deprive may not only be hobbies but a person's life.

When the child took the first place in the exam, he was happy to report to the parents, but the parents said: What is this, how many pounds do you have? I haven't counted yet. Children with a slightly stronger personality breed anger.

On the surface, the child is humble, but in fact it deprives him of his personality and self-esteem, so that the child grows up to be very strict with himself and never knows what it is like to be happy and satisfied.

3. The third category is the freedom to choose the path in the future

Master the child's application, employment, career, and other development prospects, ask the child to do according to this, these major events at the crossroads of life, the child can not make their own decisions, then what is the use of his life? It is not normal for such children not to hate their parents.

Often, this accumulated hatred of parents is directly proportional to the amount of the child being robbed of his right to exist as a human being.

And this hatred is repressed, and as the child grows older, once he has the ability to rely on himself, he will want to run away from his parents, and this hatred will explode.

The most typical division period is to go to college, when your child always hangs up your phone, does not communicate with you any heart, and does not contact you for a year and a half, you should pay attention to it, this situation will be accompanied by children into society more and more serious.

Smart parents will reflect on their education and communicate with their children in time to resolve their knots, otherwise what awaits them may be irreversible barriers.