I remember when Tiantian was in elementary school, one day when I came home from work, Tiantian pounced on me and put her arm around my waist and shouted happily: "Mom, come and see my new toy." I looked closely, sweet

I remember when Tiantian was in elementary school, one day when I came home from work, Tiantian pounced on me and put her arm around my waist and shouted happily: "Mom, come and see my new toy." I looked closely, and Sweetie was clutching a furry bear in her hand, but the color was a little old. I asked her how this little bear came from, and sweetly giggled and said proudly, "I exchanged with my classmates to use our little rabbits." "Listening to Tiantian say this, I was a little angry, because that little bunny toy was bought a few days ago, can sing by itself, and automatically glows at night, spending a full 500 yuan." Unexpectedly, only a few days after buying it, Tiantian actually decided to exchange it for such an old toy.

I scolded her solemnly: "How old are you, do you really understand things?" I even took the newly purchased bunny in exchange for such a broken bear! Maybe I didn't expect to be angry, and I just pouted happily and sweetly, and gently explained to me: "I like this little bear very much, so I decided to exchange it." ”

Listening to Tiantian say this, I suddenly woke up, yes, as long as she likes it herself, why should I blame her decision? Thinking like this, I felt guilty, because just a few days ago, I had broken my sweet heart because of a similar thing.

I was cleaning at noon that day and saw a toy Trojan horse, some of which were old, and I was going to throw it away. But Sweetie saw it and decided to stay, saying that she didn't agree with me throwing away the Trojan. So I took the opportunity to throw the worn-out Trojan into the trash when she returned to the house to do something else. Later, when Sweetie found out, she began to cry. I got angry and said to her, "You decided not to throw it away?" Do you want to turn your home into a garbage dump? Listening to my words, Sweetie cried even harder, and she sobbed and said, "The little Trojan horse is not garbage, she is my baby, it is my father's birthday present." ”

At that moment, looking at the tear marks on Sweetie's face, there was a pain in my heart. In sweet hearts, what to throw and what not to throw has her own preferences and standards, as long as she likes, even if it is worn out, it is her treasure. I have to learn to respect her decisions, not to blame, and not to make decisions on her behalf, which can only hurt her heart deeply.

In fact, in life, there are many parents like me who make mistakes. We are used to blaming the girl's decisions on the basis of our own values, making one decision after another instead of her, without considering her inner feelings. Once, when I went to a friend's house, my friend happened to be doing ideological work for her eight-year-old daughter. The friend's daughter was on summer vacation, and the friend planned to give her an Olympiad class, but the daughter did not want to go, so the friend began to persuade her bitterly. After a morning of persuasion, the daughter still decided not to go, and finally the friend pulled down his face and yelled at his daughter: "You have to go, you have to go if you don't go, you have to go, I have already registered you, so I can't help you." ”

It seems to me that my friend and I made the same mistake: ignoring the girls' wishes, blaming them for their decisions, and then making the final decision in their place. In fact, allowing the girl to be herself and not interfering too much in her decisions is the best way to get along with parents and children, and it is also the best way to educate.

In real life, many parents have been cultivating girls according to their own standards, deciding her hobbies and development direction, hoping that girls can develop according to their own expectations. But the girl is not a piece of wood, she has her own thoughts, her own preferences and trade-offs. All parents have to do is let the girl make her own decisions, respect her decisions, and allow the girl to be her true self.

Taking a step back, even if we make decisions for the girl and she is able to do what we ask, how can we do it ourselves? Do we have to make the right decision? In fact, a little empathy can solve this problem. In the process of getting along with the girl, after empathy, we can understand what the child likes and how to subtly influence her without arousing her disgust.

In ancient Greek mythology, there is a very famous story of the "Bed of Prokrust". Prokrustrost was a monster, but on the surface he was kind and hospitable, and would invite all those who passed by his door to rest in the house, but when the guest fell asleep, the monster began to torment the people: he demanded that the guests must be of the right size to fit the bed in the house, and if the guest's legs were too long or too big, he would cut them off; if the guests were too short, then he would desperately lengthen them. As a result, many of the guests who came to his house to rest were tortured to death by him.

In my opinion, parents who are accustomed to making decisions for girls play the role of "Prokrust" in life, placing girls on the "Prokrust bed" of their own design, imposing their own lessons and various rules on girls, in a vain attempt to rigidly put girls into the framework of their designs. In fact, this practice is very stupid, it will stifle the creativity of girls, make girls become conformist, lose their vitality and vitality.

As smart moms, we might as well change our imperative tone to a negotiable one, such as "How can this be done?" I wonder if this can be the case? "This kind of expression will make the girl feel that we respect her more, and then inspire her thinking and let her make the final choice herself." More importantly, it helps her build a sense of independent thinking and improves her ability to take the initiative to deal with things according to her own will.

You know, although the girl is young, she also has her own thoughts and ideas. As parents of girls, we should give girls the freedom and opportunity to express their wishes and make their own decisions. For example, when we buy toys for children, we must first seek the girl's opinion and buy the toys she likes; when shopping in the supermarket, we can let the girl decide what items to buy; when we apply for special classes in the summer, we should also let the girls decide for themselves, report or not, learn what not to learn, let her make her own ideas; and so on. What we have to do is to guide and encourage, not to command and coerce.