1, the female boss has to come to my house to eat at night, I am a single man is indeed a little inconvenient, but it is not easy, after all, it is still dependent on her to pay wages. I prepared four dishes and a soup, and the female boss said satisfactorily after eating: "The meal is well cooked, the time is a little late, my home just happened to have a power outage, what can I do?" "I was angry at once, I didn't pay my salary for three months, and now I'm asking me to pay for her electricity, thinking about the beauty, I already know that there is some laxative in the dish."
2, like this sentence: "With a person, if the energy he gives you is to make you happy to get up every day, sleep with peace of mind every night, do everything is full of motivation, full of expectations for the future, then you do not love the wrong person, the most appropriate feelings, never in the name of love to torture each other, but to accompany each other, become each other's sunshine." ”
3, boy: Mom, I'm back. Mother: How did you do? Boy: Scored 52. The mother is posing to beat her son: not even 60 points, you failed? Boy: Why don't you ask what the perfect score is? Mother: What is that perfect score? The boy said calmly: 150!
4. In the final exam of junior high school, I actually took the first place in the whole school! When I got home, I said to my father that my father was very excited and said to me: Girl, my father did not misread you, I learned very well, what reward you want, I will satisfy you! I said: Dad, last week my aunt shaved my brother's bald head to play at our house, I touched his bald head is fun, but slippery, so Dad can you shave my head for me to touch? Later, dad shaved my head and said it would be easy for me to touch!
5, I spent 10,000 yuan to find a matchmaker to introduce my husband. I said: the other party's work is not dangerous first, it is best not to contact people, it is best to work online. The matchmaker showed me the photo, and I was not satisfied: Why is the online work so dark? Matchmaker: He works online, the high-voltage line at the top of the mountain is pulled by him, one of the thousands, what's wrong? Didn't get in touch?
6, the brother's wife borrowed money from me, saying that she wanted to give the brothers an insurance, which was very urgent. It is said that the insurance company will lose a lot of money after dying within three years, but it has to pay more than 10,000 a year. I watched my brothers' daughters-in-law smile brightly and her brothers look haggard and walk unsteadily. I envy my buddies with all my heart, such a sick straw man actually married such a good wife!
7, in order to meet the health inspection, the street let everyone clean, the sky is bright, Lao Wan and Lao Rong began to load garbage on the car, Lao Rong took advantage of the darkness, on the side of the car half hammered half a hammer. At dawn, the car was also full, And Lao Rong smiled and said: Old Wan, just now I can play you, this car of garbage is almost all you loaded, I only install a small half hammer at a time. Lao Wan smiled: In fact, I didn't put on a single hammer, just used a hammer to knock the car gang. ”
8) When Tom is old, the owner no longer loves him, and the new kitten also bullies him and throws his food far away. Dragging his legs, Tom picked up the dusty cheese and placed him outside a rat hole full of cobwebs, even though he was gone.
9, I used to drive a girlfriend's fit, accidentally hit the street lamp. The policy showed a loss of 77,000, and Ping An Insurance said the vehicle was scrapped to 77,000. The garage bid 80,000, all kinds of full routines, and I don't know how to do it. In addition, it is not my own car, and I am afraid of trouble and directly hand it over to the insurance company. Later, I asked my girlfriend to know that his car ran 9,000 kilometers, which was quite valuable.
10, the son stretched out his arm and clenched his fist, shouting: I am Ultraman! Dad said timidly: No wonder I can't cure your mother, it is so. Son: How was it? Dad: The son is Ultraman, and the mother is the Supergirl!
11, the fairy tale is: the princess kissed the frog, the frog became a handsome prince, and the person next to her blessed "together"; the reality is: the princess kissed the frog, and then infected the Man's Palace Tapeworm split head larvae, and the person next to her sneered that "if you don't do it, you won't die."
12, a woman's life, the most important thing is always marriage. She will take the success of marriage as the greatest success of her life. In fact, many girls do not dare to marry naked, but they are afraid that chai rice oil and salt are soaked in romance, and love has nowhere to go in front of poverty. A man can not be rich enough, but be sure to give confidence to the woman you love. A woman can suffer hardships and poverty, but the premise must be that the man's love for her is worth letting her suffer.
13, I have a friend who is very romantic, and today he called his partner and said, "Didn't you find the moon round tonight?" He said, "The full moon is not round." Another friend of mine heard this and wanted to be romantic, so he put his arms around his partner and said, "Wife, do you see that the moon tonight is very round?" I saw him solemnly say to him, "Why, do you still want to change?" ”
14, to believe that one day will meet the person who loves each other, each other's eyes are full of each other, not sooner or later, he is mature, you are sensible, simple chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, surprises and romance from time to time, everything is so just right, happiness and sweetness.
![The Beijing Winter Olympics will be attended by 19 countries, india with a population of more than 1.3 billion, only 1 person to the number of delegations from various countries to the Beijing Winter Olympics, there are actually 19 countries to attend the meeting single-handedly, it is possible[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)