There lived a young woman upstairs, and she and I had a good feeling for each other, but we never broke through the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly got a text message that was upstairs less

There lived a young woman upstairs, and she and I had a good feeling for each other, but we never broke through the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly received a text message from the young woman upstairs, only two words, save me! I was shocked and didn't know what had happened to her. I dialed her cell phone, only to find that it was turned off, so I ran straight upstairs and knocked desperately on her door, but no one responded for half a day. I thought to myself that she didn't know if she was at home or not, that something was wrong?

I thought about it for a while and decided to pry the lock and go inside to see what was going on, but I wouldn't pry the lock either, so I pulled out my phone and made a phone call to find my ex-wife, because she had the contact information of the person who pried the lock! The phone rang and my ex-wife coldly asked me what was going on? I asked her if she could send me the contact details of the person who had picked the lock, and she sneered and said, Why should I give it to you? I have nothing to do with you, you go find someone else! I was in a hurry, saying that I was saving people, let her stop making trouble, and quickly give me the contact information!

2 A girl in high school crush on a boy, when she graduated the girl gave the boy a classmate record, the boy wrote it back to the girl, the girl read the message curiously, found that the boy wrote a you, she was disappointed. When a girl has a child, the first word she teaches her to write is you. The little girl said triumphantly, Mom, this word is too easy to remember

3 There used to be a colleague with a slippery tongue, every time he commuted to work and took the bus, he pretended to be a fool dumb, squinting his eyes, grinning, and looking like a fool,

The driver did not want him to coin for the first time, and after getting familiar with the driver, he did not care about him at all.

Every time it is free, after getting on the bus, if there is no seat, he will stand in front of the person with a seat and lean forward and backward, ah-bar, finger-drawing, and squinting eyes to look at you, 100% of them have given up their seats to him, people have been on the bus for several years and have not spent a penny.

4 In order to marry the goddess home smoothly, I secretly bought a second-hand Maserati with my father's credit card.

Today I drove to the goddess's rural hometown, and the rear wheel got stuck in the drainage ditch.

There was no one nearby, and I suddenly thought of a video, someone encountered the same thing, he ordered ten takeaways, came to ten brothers to carry out, and then invited the brothers to eat some takeaway.

I was going to try it too, and then I and the takeaway guy and the two of them would eat around ten takeaways and discuss which link was wrong!

5 The man angrily drove into the BMW 4S store and called for the manager. The man roared: "They all say that BMW is a world famous brand, the quality is very good, a good fart!" I've only been on it for three months, the brakes are often broken, the headlights are not on, and the most infuriating thing is that I have just found out now that you have given me one less wheel! The manager said calmly: "First, you are an electric tricycle, you can't make four wheels; second, we BMW never produce tricycles." Where to buy it, ask your family Lao Tzu to go! Man: "I went, no wonder I let the goddess take my car to go for a ride, people don't go!" ”

6 The father-in-law had a heart attack and unfortunately died when he went to the hospital for surgery, leaving a 5 million inheritance. I managed to snatch the money from my mother-in-law's hand and set up a villa with a sea view. I lived alone in such a big house, so I took my brother-in-law, who had just graduated from college, to my house. The little uncle has a big grin and is a second-class commodity. One day he got up very early, half-dreaming and half-awake with toothpaste and preparing to brush his teeth. I glanced at him and said, "Yo, get up so early to wash your hair!" The little uncle nodded and squeezed the toothpaste directly on his head to wash his hair.

7 A few days ago, I borrowed my brother-in-law's newly purchased Maybach, causing my brother-in-law to take the subway to commute to work, and alipay suddenly rang out that day: 2,000,000 yuan was received.

Suddenly, everyone on the subway looked at the brother-in-law, and the brother-in-law took out his mobile phone and opened it to take a look.

It turned out that the ex-girlfriend who had just broken up sent a WeChat message to her brother-in-law: This money to buy you a Bentley.

My brother-in-law was very touched: Why is it so good to me now? Do you want to get me back? The ex-girlfriend said: Huh? I've just been playing Truth or Dare, and you'll remember to give me back the money later!

8 The company held a conference, Xiao Wang felt very bored, and secretly chatted with colleagues. Suddenly the boss stopped, looked at Xiao Wang here and said: Everyone is a collective, don't make small moves in the back, in fact, I can see it clearly, do you want me to point your name? Xiao Wang and his colleagues hurriedly shut up and stopped talking. Suddenly, the logistics leader sitting behind Xiao Wang stood up and said: Leader, I admit my mistake, I confess!

9 When I went to work this morning, my husband took Ah Zhen with him to the breakfast restaurant to eat. When in the breakfast restaurant, a couple at the next table was also eating, and the man had been advising the woman to eat more, saying: Eat more, gain weight to get better. Ah Zhen looked at the husband next to her and said: I also want to eat more, and it is better to gain weight! Husband: Don't eat it! If you gain a little more weight, you will only have a tail compared to a pig! 

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