1. Xiao Zhang works in the courier company and went to the villa area yesterday to deliver the courier. Suddenly I saw a big master sitting in the doorway of the villa crying bitterly, it turned out that he had forgotten to bring the key. Xiao Zhang was kind and stayed with him, etc.,

1. Xiao Zhang works in the courier company and went to the villa area yesterday to deliver the courier. Suddenly I saw a big master sitting in the doorway of the villa crying bitterly, it turned out that he had forgotten to bring the key. Xiao Zhang was kind and stayed behind to accompany him to wait, and soon a girl drove a Mercedes to send the key. Xiao Zhang saw that his granddaughter had sent the key to the uncle and was ready to say goodbye. At this time, the old man said, "Thank you!" lad! My wife is coming, do you want to come in for a cup of tea? ”

2. When I was in college at Tsinghua University, I met a girl who opened a Maybach school. Her family is particularly rich, but she falls in love with a boy from a poor family. But the gap in the family prevented the two from being really together. On a date, the boy asked: Your family is rich, but will you marry me? The girl said: Honey, my family is indeed very rich, this dress on me alone is 200,000, I may not really be able to marry you!! The boy said: I know!! Girl: So you still ask me?? The boy said: No, I just want to feel what it's like to lose $200,000?

3. At noon yesterday, my wife was making unreasonable trouble with her mother-in-law here, so I beat her up violently. I thought my mother-in-law would fight, but she indiscriminately scolded me with her head covered. I was so angry that I clenched my teeth and didn't dare to squeak... After eating, my mother-in-law fell asleep on the couch, and I walked over and slapped her hard. My mother-in-law woke up and asked confusedly, "Why did you hit me?" I quickly said: Watching you go to sleep and shouting, you have nightmares again, right? Just a dream, it's okay, keep sleeping.

4. I am a temporary worker at the bank and work as a teller. Today there was a boss who came to withdraw the money, and there was only 470 yuan in the card. I plan to give the old man 500 yuan and let him get 30 yuan back. I smiled and asked, "Uncle, do you have 30?" The old man did not answer, I raised my voice and asked again: "Uncle, do you have 30?" He was angry: "You call me uncle, and ask me if I have 30?" I'm 63! ”

5. My wife bought a disinfection box, and I put my shoes in to disinfect them. Wife: The insoles have not been removed, how to disinfect? My wife went over and took my shoes out again and removed the insoles. Suddenly, a few folded hundred-dollar tickets came out. Me: I wonder if it's not said on TV, and now the money is not hygienic, so I don't dare to put it in my pocket, and then I'm going to give it to you after disinfection.

6. After work in the evening, I carry a bag in one hand and my mobile phone in the other to report to the leader. The leader listened to it and said happily: You have worked hard during this time, I will see it all in my eyes and give you a salary increase next month. I was happy to hear it, pressed the voice button and hurriedly said: not hard, not hard, should be! At this time, a big brother next to him yelled: This broken work, too tired, Lao Tzu does not do it, do not give much money to do! So he managed to swallow my voice...

7. The self-study class is too boring, taking advantage of the fact that the class teacher is not in the classroom to peel melon seeds and prepare to eat after class. I peeled off almost a lesson there, and by the time the class was over, I was just ready to eat. At this time, the class teacher suddenly rushed to me from behind with an arrow step, grabbed a box of melon seeds that I had peeled, and said to a shocked face while eating, "I watched you peel half a lesson outside the window, and finally peeled it off." ”

8. Rush to pick up my daughter from school after work today. When I arrived, I saw my daughter crying, and I asked what was going on? Daughter: "The teacher beat me." "I was not happy when I heard it, but I had to find a teacher, and I couldn't beat the child no matter how disobedient I was." My daughter pulled me along: "Dad, the teacher is a tigress, or forget it." Me: "That's not going to work either." "When I entered the classroom, I was in a hurry with the teacher, and as a result, the teacher grabbed his ear and threw it out. Then the teacher said to me viciously, "Go home and see how I clean up you two."

9. After insisting on using Huabei for half a year, the quota was raised to 30,000, and I immediately bought a Huawei P40icon on Pinduoduo. Today I was at home playing with my new cell phone when a neighbor suddenly came running up and banged on my door. He shouted, "Can you borrow your phone?" There was a car accident on the road, and one person was hit by a car and shed a lot of blood! I said, "Don't you have a cell phone yourself?" He said: "I heard that the pixels of the Huawei P40 are better!" ”

10. The wife and sister-in-law are pregnant, and the due date is only three days apart. Yesterday my brother-in-law went on a business trip to Guangdong, and I drove with two big-bellied women to the hotel to improve my life. When we arrived at the hotel, the three of us ate and laughed and were very happy. I saw a few big brothers secretly looking at me while eating, and the color of envy was overflowing! #年度搞笑名场面 #