There is such a post on the Internet: "Mother-in-law gives grandchildren and granddaughters different money, what to do?" ”
Posting a fact sheet.
My husband and I have been working in other places for many years, and I have a 7-year-old daughter to study with me, and my mother-in-law has been urging me to have a second child, because of the busy work and more importantly, the economic pressure is high, I dragged on and did not want it.
When getting married, the in-laws originally promised to buy a house, and the husband's income before marriage was also given to them, and when they got married, they decorated their hometown, saying that buying a house was a big deal, and then we looked at the house ourselves, and they would support it.
They said it reasonably, and I no longer bothered, but after getting married, the in-laws never mentioned the purchase of a house, and let the husband send 2,000 to his home every month, saying that the little uncle wanted to get married, and the big brother needed help.
My husband was worried that I was angry and did not tell me until one reconciliation, his savings were very small, only to expose this matter, since then, I did not allow him to send money home, the couple was angry, the result is that he reduced the amount, sending 1,000 yuan to home every month.
When the little uncle got married, the in-laws bought them a suite in the city, to be honest, I was uncomfortable, and the mother-in-law explained that the sister-in-law was a teacher and needed to have a suite, so that it was convenient to commute to work.
It turns out that in the mother-in-law's heart, the daughter-in-law's ability also affects the status of the family, and I can't help but reflect, if I insist on buying a house before marriage, will she do it? Considering the husband's investment in the family for so many years, I think about it and feel that the bowl of water in my mother-in-law's heart is not flat.
See the attitude of the mother-in-law, do not have too many expectations for them, the future life needs to rely on themselves, we must go all out to work for the family, I found a part-time job after work, the children and husband take turns to take care of, because I have been living in the field, there is no contradiction with the mother-in-law, the relationship is still peaceful.
After a busy year, we took our daughter home for the New Year, took 3,000 yuan for the mother-in-law before the New Year, bought a bunch of New Year goods, the little uncle and sister-in-law also came back, their son is 3 years old, and my daughter has a lot of fun in the yard.
The mother-in-law took out 2 red envelopes, one that looked older for the granddaughter, one that was slightly thinner for the grandson, she deliberately stuffed it into the child's pocket, told her not to take it out and lose it, and put it under the pillow at night.
A few of us sat in the courtyard sniffing melon seeds, the atmosphere was warm, and did not think so much, 2 children ran into the house, a moment the daughter ran over, put the red envelope into my hand, I opened a look at the face changed, the inside is 10 yuan, it looks thick, only 200 yuan.
And the younger brother's red envelopes are all hundred yuan bills, although there are only 10 pieces, but there are 1,000 yuan, the daughter has learned to know money in school, know the difference between money, adults can be patient, the child is uncomfortable, crying and saying: "Grandma is eccentric, she does not love me." ”
The mother-in-law's face is also very embarrassed, she may not think that the child will open on the spot, but also counted each other, the owner said that he has not encountered such a situation, do not know how to deal with it?
The attitude of the parents, the temperature of the children.
After watching the experience of this poster, netizens have also given their own suggestions.
Some netizens said: "I also have such a mother-in-law, to the grandchildren and granddaughters are different red envelopes, there is really no need to endure, your generosity, will be treated as a good talk by the mother-in-law, you have to put it in front of the mother-in-law, she will not dare to do this in the future, you know, the child also has self-esteem." ”
Some netizens also said: "No matter how much money is less, children must be treated equally, especially the elders, the bias of the attitude will make the child feel despised in his heart, what age, but also the preference for sons and daughters, it is really too much, you should let the mother-in-law know your attitude." ”
Some netizens said: "Such a red envelope should not be stopped, directly return to the mother-in-law, let her give a new one, otherwise take the child away, some mother-in-law is eccentric, especially pampered for the younger son, even with the little grandson is also partial, but does not consider the feelings of the eldest son." ”
When encountering such a thing, everyone will be uncomfortable in their hearts, perhaps in the heart of the mother-in-law, she has the right to be autonomous, and she can give as much as she wants, but since they are all their grandchildren, it is their duty to be flat with a bowl of water.
So what should parents do to avoid contradictions and resolve embarrassment?
A netizen suggested very well, he said: "Directly take the red envelope over, and then tell the child that the grandmother gave the wrong, this must be prepared for the children of relatives, and then hand the red envelope to the mother-in-law, if the mother-in-law really hurts the granddaughter, she will circle the scene together, and then give the granddaughter a red envelope again, and the embarrassment will be resolved." ”
I agree with this suggestion, which not only resolves the contradiction into invisibility, but also takes care of the mother-in-law's face.
Parents with high emotional intelligence will treat them equally.
Someone said: "Happy families are all similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes." ”
In life, most of the parents in those families who live well know how to treat them equally and will not have a sense of separation.
In families with many children, parental preference is an obstacle to happiness in later life.
When you are young, you feel that you have the ability to control life and can favor one child, but such behavior will definitely hurt the feelings of another child.
When you are older, it is difficult for the hurt child to empathize with you, and the favored child is difficult to take on the heavy responsibility of support alone, and it is still the old man who suffers.
Therefore, as an elderly person, we must know how to treat our children fairly, whether it is a son or a daughter, we must really love and do our best to give certain support.
When grandchildren go home, they may not be able to give a lot of money, but no matter how much and how many red envelopes are the same, naturally there will be no contradictions.
In addition, between children, there are good developments, there may also be economic difficulties, parents are not biased attitude, will also give children warmth.
Many people are willing to go home because of the understanding and tolerance of their parents, whether they have money or not, they feel warm when they return home, which is the meaning of home.
Give it a thumbs up and go! What do you think about that? What if you encounter a parent giving a child a different red envelope? Welcome to leave a message to tell you your opinion~